The Radio Interview

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

A transcript.

“Welcome back. It’s five minutes past two. I’m Amit Kumari, and, well, I have something a little bit different for you this afternoon. You’ll remember that we were talking yesterday about the divine feminine, and what that term means to different people. Well, today we’re going to talk about Kali, who, as many of you will know, is the other side of the coin, so to speak. Not masculine, but the fierce aspect of the divine feminine. Love that doesn’t nurture, but destroys; love that doesn’t forgive, but slices people’s heads off. Now, normally, we needn’t worry too much about Kali. But perhaps we should be a little concerned when she possesses the body of a sixteen-year-old girl, who has no background in Hinduism, and very little knowledge of anything, really, except perhaps boys and pop music. Her name is Lucy, and she’s with us today with her friend, Kerensa, who isn’t actually possessed by Kali. That’s right, isn’t it, Kerensa?”

“Correct. I’m not.”

“Well, a very warm welcome, to both of you. It’s great to have you on the show. Now, Lucy, first of all, if I may. I suppose the most obvious question is: How did you come to learn about Kali, and what makes you believe that her spirit is with you?”

“I learnt about her through my friend, Jay, who was trying to find an explanation for my inner rage.”

“So he kind of diagnosed you as being possessed, in a sense?”

“Yeah.”

“And Jay is a Hindu?”

“No. He actually founded his own religion.”

“I see. And what religion would that be?”

“You won’t have heard of it.”

“So it’s really more of a cult than a religion?”

“I guess it could be perceived that way.”

“And you’re a member of this cult?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. So let me get this straight. The leader of a religious cult, of which you are a member, has interpreted your natural teenage rebellion as being the spirit of a Hindu goddess, who has taken possession of your body?”

“It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that.”

“Well, please, I don’t want to put words in your mouth, Lucy. How would you describe the situation?”

“I would say that Kali, as an aspect of the Goddess, and not necessarily confined to any particular religion, is using me as an instrument of her wrath.”

“Ah. So perhaps I should be worried, then? Am I in any danger right now, for example?”

“No, you needn’t be worried. I’m here to destroy the system, not individual radio hosts.”

“Okay, well, that’s a relief. I think. Let’s leave it there though, for the moment, because I’d like to bring Kerensa in, at this point. Kerensa, presumably you’re concerned for your friend, and the effect that this belief is quite obviously having on her life?”

“I’m concerned for Lucy, sure, but not because of her beliefs.”

“So what concerns you most of all, then, about her situation?”

“I’m concerned that her message, our message, will be misinterpreted, as I think it is being.”

“By saying, ‘our message’, does that imply that you’re also a victim of this cult?”

“We’re not victims, Amit.”

“I’m sorry, that was a genuine slip of the tongue. It’s just that those two words are so often used in conjunction. Nevertheless, there’s obviously an element of brainwashing going on here, isn’t there, Kerensa?”

“Yes, I think there is, Amit, in the way that we’re being presented. Our message is primarily one of love.

“Yes, I thought you might say that. Which is why I’d like to play this video clip, for those watching the live feed. For everyone else, please be aware that we’ve had to bleep out quite a few of the lyrics. But it basically shows Lucy, here, unleashing her inner goddess to a song by Guns N’ Roses, called Get in the Ring. She’s miming, of course, but she nevertheless gets very much into the spirit of the song. And, if you watch this segment coming up right now, she basically uses the microphone as an erect phallus, between her legs, whilst inviting the audience to, and I quote, ‘suck my f’ing dick’.”

“Amit, if you didn’t have your head so far up your own arse, you might have realised that Get in the Ring is a song about precisely what is happening right now: Media lies, and spin, and the subtle manipulation of the public mind. But Lucy can speak for herself as to why she chose to perform that particular song.”

“Indeed. And I would certainly invite Lucy to answer that question, were she not laughing so hard. Clearly Kali has a sense of humour. Okay, for those of you who aren’t actually watching the live feed, Lucy is now poking her tongue out at me. And I’m beginning to wonder whether this whole thing wasn’t a prank of some kind. Do you have any last words, Kerensa, seeing as your friend is incapacitated?”

“She’s laughing so hard because you’re a joke, Amit. Mainstream radio is a joke. Mainstream everything is a joke. And when the Goddess does rise, whatever name you want to give Her, you’re going to regret not taking our message seriously. Everyone is going to regret not taking our message seriously.”


Submitted: December 06, 2020

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