Dahlia runs from her home when she hears that the slave taxes have raised, but she doesn't make it far. Right when she reached the river, something stops her.
Or someone.
She is then sold to the army at the slave auctions. There, she makes some friends, but she also makes some enemies.
After that, well, I can't tell you. It would spoil it. But all I can say is that whatever you think you know...
You're wrong.
If you have any predictions for where you think the story is going, i would love to hear them. Feedback is always welcome (don't be afraid to be harsh. I have a super thick skin)
Pronunciation guide:
Kerston: K – ear - ston
Dahlia: da – lee – uh
Sotia: so – t – sh – ee – uh
Ensalya: En – sail – ee – uh
Elaysia: El – asia
Fjellne: F – ee – ell
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Recent Comments
i love this story! the plot is amazing! and also chapter 2 of my story is out!
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Ann Sepino
I like the pacing of this chapter, and I appreciate the effort to avoid any info-dumps. That intriguing prophecy was a nice touch, delivered at just the right moment.
Fri, December 11th, 2020 1:21pmI do wish there could have been more introspective sentences, especially in the first half, so that we get a better feel of the MC's personality. Knowing how a character thinks is more effective at making them relatable than just describing what they're seeing and doing.
We get a glimpse of it in the paragraph that says 'Um, we met, like, an hour ago...' It shows someone who's possibly young, snarky, and gets angry when scared. It would be nice if this aspect could be highlighted more in the chapter.
Anyway, looking forward to where this story goes. There's some promising world-building and backstory here, and I'd be happy to tune into it when I can. :)
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Reply
Thank you so much for the feedback! I will try to go back and get more of the MC's thoughts in.
Fri, December 11th, 2020 7:11amUhhh... Do I know what introspective means...?
No. No, I do not.
If anyone wants to explain, that would be great ;) I dont do well with big words....
hehe, thanks. Baii
latestardi01