Kingdom of Ice

Reads: 356  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 4

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic

Set in the world of Elaysia, Payge has a rough past. One she might not fully understand. 

Payge runs from her home when she hears that the slave taxes have raised, but she doesn't make it far. Right when she reached the river, something stops her.

Or someone.

She is then sold to the army at the slave auctions. There, she makes some friends, but she also makes some enemies.

After that, well, I can't tell you. It would spoil it. But all I can say is that whatever you think you know...

You're wrong.

If you have any predictions for where you think the story is going, i would love to hear them. Feedback is always welcome (don't be afraid to be harsh. I have a super thick skin)

Pronunciation guide:

Kerston: K – ear - ston
Dahlia: da – lee – uh
Sotia: so – t – sh – ee – uh
Ensalya: En – sail – ee – uh
Elaysia: El – asia
Fjellne: F – ee – ell

Table of Contents

Before

Before:       They came in the night. They came to the village of Vonandi and they dragged families from t... Read Chapter

Chapter 1

Chapter 1         I gasp for air as I shoot up in bed, my eyes wide, my hand reaching for my hear... Read Chapter

Chapter 2

The woman in front of me stumbles as the slave trader yanks on the chain that binds us all to one another. The blocks of cobblestone bene... Read Chapter

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Recent Comments

Ann Sepino

I like the pacing of this chapter, and I appreciate the effort to avoid any info-dumps. That intriguing prophecy was a nice touch, delivered at just the right moment.

I do wish there could have been more introspective sentences, especially in the first half, so that we get a better feel of the MC's personality. Knowing how a character thinks is more effective at making them relatable than just describing what they're seeing and doing.

We get a glimpse of it in the paragraph that says 'Um, we met, like, an hour ago...' It shows someone who's possibly young, snarky, and gets angry when scared. It would be nice if this aspect could be highlighted more in the chapter.

Anyway, looking forward to where this story goes. There's some promising world-building and backstory here, and I'd be happy to tune into it when I can. :)

Fri, December 11th, 2020 1:21pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for the feedback! I will try to go back and get more of the MC's thoughts in.

Uhhh... Do I know what introspective means...?
No. No, I do not.

If anyone wants to explain, that would be great ;) I dont do well with big words....

hehe, thanks. Baii

latestardi01

Fri, December 11th, 2020 7:11am

spookity the ghost

i love this story! the plot is amazing! and also chapter 2 of my story is out!

Sun, January 10th, 2021 10:02pm

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