the panto 2020

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

a panto written in 2020
https://photos.app.goo.gl/gNjhfxYBRshKNYBL6

Scene

 

Prince Regents Grand Ball

 

Compare/Royal Regent Butler

 

Welcome All to the Prince Regent Ballroom We start our show tonight with His Royal Highness the Prince Regent talking to the first guests to arrive.

 

We have

Sulky Shirley vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR

Grumpy Gail R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0

 

& Jamie the Clutterbuck Clown.

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDX

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx Prince Regent speaks

“ Jamie how good to see you and where is Jezza tonite”

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDX

Jamie “ Your royal Highness How good of you to invite me to be honest I thought you would ignore me”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx “Whatever for everyone likes a clown”

 

Compare (And Jamie is one hell of a clown!)

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDX

Jamie “You asked about the almighty JC he’s in the parlour”

“ counting the dead!”

“We have the rule of one”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx “Tell Jezza (JC) it should be rule of 6”

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDXJamie “ Oh no your royal highness Rule of one No Families No Executors”

“We don’t want to wake up the living”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx “Do you not mean wake up the dead!? you clown”

 

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDX “oh no sir the dead already know our secrets”

“It’s the living that must not know”

Compare Ahh “ And now our audience all know you have a secret”” 

 

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDXJamie “ But look at them half asleep that lot might as well be dead”

 

Compare “Oh No there not”

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDX “Oh yes they are”

 

(Audience &) Compare “Oh No Were not”

 

etc

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx “Jamie Enough of this nonsense I gave you three invites”

“Why do we have only two ladies?”

 

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDXJamie “I don’t know your highness”

“Indeed you did I gave them all to Grumpy Gail”

“Should we ask her she is looking very grumpy”

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0Grumpy Gail “Enchanted to meet you your royal highness”

“And this is my sister Sulky Shirley”

 

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR

Sulky Shirley “Behave” (in a high pitched voice) 

 

Sulky Shirley “Enchanted your royal highness”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“ladies I have never met two ladies as Sulky and Grumpy as you!” 

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR “Thank you your highness” they said in unison

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR”Behave”

 

“And where is your delightful sister ladies”

“She is full of fun, are you Jealous?”

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMRIn unison “Enchanted your highness”

They look at each other

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0Grumpy Gail “Other”

“Oh you must mean whats her name”

“She couldn’t come”

 

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMRSulky Shirley “Behave”

“yes she couldn’t come”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx “How come”

 

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0grumpy Gail

“Thats right she couldn’t come”

“Jamie the Clown gave me the invites”

 

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMRSulky Shirley

“Yes He did”

“Behave!”

 

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0Grumpy Gail

“One for me”

“One for Shirley”

“and one that went Weeee”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

Went Weeee

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0Grumpy Gail

“Yes Weeee”

“Like this”

“Weeee”

“over my shoulder and to the river to float far far away

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR

“Behave”

 

Jamie the clown is doing handstands

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“Did you see this?” Prince Regent asks

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDXJamie the clown upside down answers

“Yes your Highness!”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

And did you not ask questions

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDX“No your royal highness”

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR Grumpy Gail and Sulky Shirley 

“It went Weee over my/her shoulder into the river and floating far away”

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR

“Behave”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx“Did you not think about telling me” Prince Regent

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDX

“ I am only a clown, ”

Compare

“ Jeremy Clutterbucks Clown”

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDX

“ All praise to the great JC”

“cinderella can ask her self”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“And how would she do that without her invite?”

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDXJamie the clown

“ I trust grumpy and sulky to tell her”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“And did you ladies”

 

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMRShirley & R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0Gail

“It went Weee over her/my shoulder into the river and floating far far away.

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR

“Behave”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndxPrince Regent

Speaking to Jamie the clown

“Well Clown what will JC say about that”

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDX

“All praise the great JC”

“sorry your Highness”

“JC”

 “All praise the great JC”

“He won’t do anything your highness”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

I have guests to converse with”

 

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0Gail “of course your highness see you later”

 

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR

Shirley “Behave” 

“Alligator”

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDXJamie the clown “In a while Crocodile”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndxPrince Regent to Compare

(Please keep me away from that horrible pair and that clown)

 

Compare

“Your royal highness may I introduce to you the Dunceley Town Clerk”

 

She courtcies her Dunce hat stays on

qW4CCKIqvvz8Wj9J98VQ67y9llPHEj6FnjqI_EHd

“Your highness”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“ And what do you do”

 

qW4CCKIqvvz8Wj9J98VQ67y9llPHEj6FnjqI_EHd

“I sell the royal entrance”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“You sold the Royal entrance”

“Who Bought it?”

asks the Prince Regent

qW4CCKIqvvz8Wj9J98VQ67y9llPHEj6FnjqI_EHd

“Not Telling” in a shy girlish way

 

“Look at all the pieces of silver we got”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx 

Did you not think to speak to me?

qW4CCKIqvvz8Wj9J98VQ67y9llPHEj6FnjqI_EHd

Shrug of shoulders

“Jamie the clown sold it”


 

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0Grumpy Gail

“I bought it your royal highness”

“To stop vagrants and whats her name from trespassing” 

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR

”Behave”

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0

“See we even put up a notice”

“No vagrants and what’s her name”

“We removed the old sign”

“Gone Wheeeee”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx 

Did you not think to speak to me?

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR

“Behave”

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0”Jamie sold it; he is only a clown,” said Grumpy Gail.

“Come sit with us and we will talk with your highness”

 

Dunceley town Clerk

qW4CCKIqvvz8Wj9J98VQ67y9llPHEj6FnjqI_EHd

“ look at the pieces of silver”

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMRGrumpy Gail and Sulky Shirley

Look at our grand new sign No Vagrents No Cinderella

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR “Behave”

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0”Shall we sit with your highness”

 

Shirley vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR“Behave”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx “ No Grumpy Gail I shall put your under the care of the Royal guards”

“Guards a special seat for Grumpy Place it over there in the corner”

“And make sure Grumpy Gail does not move an inch”

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0”That's not fair”

“I want to sit by his royal highness”

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR”Behave”

 

Royal Guard “But sir we have no seat that will take all that grumpiness”

Compare “They’re right your highness”

“Grumpy gail is more grumpy than Donald Trump”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx “You are right Guards please take grumpy gail away kicking and screaming and dump Grumpy Gail on the floor”

 

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0

“ouch that hurt” she cries

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“Guards try again and see if she can go Wee”

“Wee into the river and far away”

 

Compare “ Sir and the world Sulking champion what shall we do with her?”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx”Guards Stand Sulky Shirley to face the wall”

“And put a hood on it so her face doesn’t crack the poor wall”

 

Royal Guard “Yes your royal highness”

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR”Behave”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndxPrince Regent to Compare (“horrible people I hope we don’t have any more”)

 

Compare

“May I introduce the revenant Simple Simon”

CbdYh1Yb6dsr24UV3PlLgtduk2lEphqdNJM4h8_b

Simple Simon

“Reverend Simon Elme”

“Your Highness”

“That’s Elme”

“Helme with no H”

 

Compare hand covers mouth as speaks to Audience

”And no Brain either”)

Uo9gwaVoN7RL2gcBK1mxvmW4ay9FbOmoloUrXciV

“Your highness I saw the other sister earlier”

“She was skipping and happy”

 

FQkaGIsXZdMkgnS_1vfxgctNDKom3Us3CInF93eb

“I believe she had finished working”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“And what did you say to her”

 

wkxqWo2BBaU23cEvRZPQasYvXS7vXErXRjfXhRir

“Nothing”

“I crossed the road to test my eyesight”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“You What”

 

FdE0BemE6xxPaeWy76NSUNbM3yhZJ2_xzcCKznig

“She didn’t even wave”

Simple Simon waves like this

 

_dXJvSnBYx-K1TXQoRAN2zOIsVLUJ5C6m20TChu-

“Hello”

“Hello”

“Hello Audience”

“Well wave back then you miserable lot”

Compare 

“You should have gone to Barnards Castle”

“that Dominic Cummings swears by it to test his eyes”

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR“Behave”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“Ah Madame Danielle”

“ I recognise your long nose”

“ from the picture Mr Burkess sent”

 

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6Madame Danielle

“Your Royal Highness I hope you are well”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndxPrince regent asks” Where is Nick the Pimp?”

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6

“Oh he’s sorting out a woman for Prince Andrew”

 

Compare

(wrong Royal Household Madam) whispered in her ear.

 

Simple Simon joins in

Zfr4_guq-h-Kzoa9TgqFGZZ3Ez94wEjSti-5yhvL

“Enchanted to meet you”

“the revenant Simon Elme Helme No H”

Compare hand over mouth to audience

“And no brain”

 

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6Madam Danielle

“Vicar you must visit at WW&PS” 

“at Yatee as in Latte”

Compare

(“That’s Yate to you and me”)

Zfr4_guq-h-Kzoa9TgqFGZZ3Ez94wEjSti-5yhvL”Where is that?”

Compare “Where they organised that Rave”

Zfr4_guq-h-Kzoa9TgqFGZZ3Ez94wEjSti-5yhvL “What’s a Rave?”

 

Madam Danielle JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6

“We help the needy poor women who have no source of income”

Compare “Thats sneaky Sims”

 

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR “Behave”

1l9mWMvWqq6JYlMVZUzIlrrKUNEiFeMI_L1iDaUN

“Bless you my dear please tell me more”

 

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6Madam Danielle

“We treat you with special services you know”

“Tell no one  You will be a  favourite”


 

Compare whispers in Simple Simon’s ear

(“ sneaky Sims runs a brothel”)

 

wcgNxw0AWb8wi3dUfK5GGSSZFqUX0q9vRJvtuibp

“Oh what sterling work Whats a brothel”

Madam Danielle JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6

“Simple Simon you must come to our orgy!”

“Here is our card”

 

wcgNxw0AWb8wi3dUfK5GGSSZFqUX0q9vRJvtuibp

“Thank you dear I will pray for your girls sole and the good christian work you are doing”

turns to audience

“Whats an Orgy”

 

Compare (explains by whispering in ear?

wcgNxw0AWb8wi3dUfK5GGSSZFqUX0q9vRJvtuibp “Oh what fun”

“What a name Willy”

Compare puts hand on mouth to stop him

Compare “ You must not say that Simple Simon”

 

 wcgNxw0AWb8wi3dUfK5GGSSZFqUX0q9vRJvtuibp

“Willy” Compare puts hand over mouth children Laugh

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6”Your Royal highness what have you done with Grumpy Gail and Sulky Shirley”

“To put them out of the way over there”

 

Compare “Madam Danielle you should realize they have only been moved slightly”

“ When will Nick the Pimp arrive?”

 

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0Grumpy Gail

“A Ms Sims we have a gift for you”

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6”Paper”

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0”Thirty Pieces of silver”

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6”Paper”

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0”As agreed for your services”

 

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMRSulky Shirley

“Behave”

Compare “Me thinks Sneaky Sims gets her comeuppance”

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6” I expected proper silver not silver paper you grumpy fool”


 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“Royal Senior household servant seek out Cinderella and bring her to the party in the Royal carriage”

 

Compare

“Shall we use Boris’s World beating track and trace”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“We haven’t got time for that or Fatt Hancock My Guards will find her soon.”

 

Gail R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0 &vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR Shirley

Oh No your Highness You must not invite her

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR“Behave”

qT2rDFuqFG1-bsHnHhADjEDnJ2vBAdnSXWaqgsDXJamie

Oh No your highness we can't have that

“She Can’t cross the royal entrance”

“I sold it to Grumpy Gail”

 

wcgNxw0AWb8wi3dUfK5GGSSZFqUX0q9vRJvtuibp

I crossed the road to avoid her and she didn’t even wave”

Dunceley Town Clerk qW4CCKIqvvz8Wj9J98VQ67y9llPHEj6FnjqI_EHd

Look at these pieces of silver

 

Madam Danielle/Sneaky Sims JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6

“Surely your Highness  one of ladies who want to admire your manhood and provide those special services as only WW&PS girls can help”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx”You are right Compare she is Sneaky Sims”

 

Prince Regent as carriage with Cinderella arrives

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“Welcome Cinderela”

He offers her his hand

Cinderela politely says

1_VVHjuR6G6RHwXdA2fspI_4JeadxS2mxBZCyjjR

“Thank you your Highness”

“It is a great honour and if you Highness does not mind I am happy and don’t seek his admirable hand as others would.”

 

“I seek what is right and proper”

“Those you wish to be here should not be denied by”

“I see you put a hood over our Sulky to protect that poor wall”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndxThank you Cinderela and what a pleasure to have such a delightful person among our guests”

Cinderella 1_VVHjuR6G6RHwXdA2fspI_4JeadxS2mxBZCyjjR

I see you made Grumpy sit on the floor 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx”My guards could not find a chair strong enough to take her tons of grumpiness.”

1_VVHjuR6G6RHwXdA2fspI_4JeadxS2mxBZCyjjR

“ How very wise”

“I cannot believe our poor mother put up with her grumpiness for so long”

“More grumpy than Donal Grump!”

“So compare who do we have”




 

Compare injects

“Two  Spiteful Sisters and a clown in a tall black hat.”

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR“Behave”

 

“A dunce Town Clerk who sells the royal entrance for 30 pieces of silver”

“Simple Simon with poor eyesight and two blind eyes”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“Nick the Pimp”

“You have arrived, where have you been?”

 

3NGzcon-xH_w0kdjHN2Sb6EFgOVOcAUn3Ly9sRTp

“ Your Royal Highness I’ve been speaking to that Boris”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“You arrange ladies for him as well”

3NGzcon-xH_w0kdjHN2Sb6EFgOVOcAUn3Ly9sRTp

“No your highness about that Priti Patel”

“Can you believe she bullies her staff!?”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx “No”

“the whole world knows know”

3NGzcon-xH_w0kdjHN2Sb6EFgOVOcAUn3Ly9sRTp

“Does she not realize Customers are for shouting and screaming at!”

“Not her lovely staff”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“And what will Boris do about her”

 

3NGzcon-xH_w0kdjHN2Sb6EFgOVOcAUn3Ly9sRTp

 

“Oh he will let her off say she’s not a bully”

“I told him to send her on a course”

“Yes”

“Learn to bully customers like I do”

 

Compare “What horrible people we have here”

“Except the lovely Cinders of course”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“you are right”

“Royal Guards”

“Bring in the stocks for our guests”

“Royal caterers”

“Collect rotten tomatoes and eggs from the poor and pay them well with the silver from Dunce and ww&ps ill gotten gains.”

“We will have a ball tonight.”



 

Scene

Ugly Sisters, Jamie the Clutterbuck clown, simple Simon, Dunceley Town Clerk Madam Daniele/Sneaky Sims & Nick the Pimp Burgess in stocks

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

 

“Well Sulky Shirley what must you learn to do?” 

 

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMRShirley

“Behave”

Jamie places Custard pie on her face

 

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0Grumpy gail laughs

“it went Weee into her face”

 

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“Like this”

Indicates to Jamie Who places Pie in her face.

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0

“Your highness”

“Not fair I do all the work”

“Bossing Cinders”

“Stopping Cinders crossing the royal line”

“looking after the royal Palace”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“I did not ask you to look after my palace and you did not ask if you could Grumpy Gail”

 

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0 Sniffles “I don’t like being called Grumpy your highness”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“Don’t you Grumpy Gail”

“Well that's too bad your name is Grump Gail for the rest of your life”

“By royal decree”



 

Cinderella 1_VVHjuR6G6RHwXdA2fspI_4JeadxS2mxBZCyjjR

She’s got it worse than President Grump

“& that poor Covid 19 when it caught Trumpites”



 

Then to Jamie

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“And one in your face to learn for the future”

Jamie the Clutterbuck clown obliges

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx“Now to Simple Simon the Vicar with two blind eyes”

 

wcgNxw0AWb8wi3dUfK5GGSSZFqUX0q9vRJvtuibp

“Your royal highness”

“I am a man of god”

“ and cinders she did not even wave at me”

 

Compare

“How could you see Simple Simon”

holding his nose

 

“You have two blind eyes”

“One for sulky vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR“Behave” and and the other for grumpy”

R_hPfiAIXmcUfptP9DqO2D7vmVg7Nku0Z-Zg7BU0 “Make it go Weeee into his face”

 

Jamie the Clutterbuck clown obliges

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

Did you see that simple Simon?

 

qW4CCKIqvvz8Wj9J98VQ67y9llPHEj6FnjqI_EHd

“Look at these pieces of silver”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx”They have gone to the deserving”

 

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR“Behave”

Compare

(after the clown places custard on the Dunceley Town Clerk)

“Look at the Custard on your face!” 

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx“Ah Sneaky Sims Do you like rotten eggs?”

“Whats that No Reply”

“Clown Jamie give her both for good measure”

The clown cracks one at a time places on head and wipes on face

 

“Ah my hair my face”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx“So Sneaky Sims now you can speak”

What do you desire we bring from Nick the Pimp?”

“His leg on a plate or his sausage to eat?”

 

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6“His Sausage” she states as a question

 “Guards take him away to the chopping block”

“Royal cook prepare the sausage Grilled for Madame to taste”




 

Compare Eric Wise style

Well Ladies and Gentlemen and children that is the 

 

Loud Noise  from behind the scenes

3NGzcon-xH_w0kdjHN2Sb6EFgOVOcAUn3Ly9sRTp

AHH Ahh

Guard comes out

“Sorry about that your highness”


 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“Didn’t you give him anethstetic?”

 

Guard

“He didn’t ask sir?”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“That’s alright then isn’t audience?”

“Ok Compare”

Compare

Well Ladies and Gentlemen and children that is the

alarm goes off in background

 

Guard

“Sorry about that the sausages are burnt is that ok”

 

Compare asks Madame Danielle/Sneaky Sims

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6she shakes her head

“She says that will be fine”

 

They bring it out force her to eat and she says 

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6“That’s horrible”


 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

Are you sure?

 

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6Madame Danielle/Sneaky Sims

“No its very nice sir”

“Delicious”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

“Do you want some more?”

 

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6Madame Daniele/Sneaky Sims

“I can’t have more”

 

Compare

Here is some more

 

Madame Danielle/Sneaky Sims 

JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6

“No sir Please ask  Mr Burkess he won’t like it”

 

Compare

“He doesn’t have to try it”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx

 

“Is that ok Nick the Pimp?”

 

Compare “He says that's ok”

Compare  stuffs in her mouth

 

As she pulls a face


 

Then looking up JSYbrr0FBA6GZTNdtCuTsCn4wCRvbt5aYc84yTB6

“Delicious sir”

“very nice thank you your highness”

 

Compare Well Ladies and Gentlemen and children that is the end of our show and on behalf of the cast please show your well just Boo

Compare The ugly sisters Sulky Shirley & Grumpy Gail

pTIzS85IgJLeDKNhvdN0NUDRWd7QsnvzRre4ZZsBvmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR

Booh

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR“Behave”

 

Compare The Clutterbuck Clown 

0LX-OYCOp7sAnWZQXtnKywrAMgk_vGFAWSs5ggTH

Booh

Compare Dunceley Town Clerk

95zBwrI3gPdi3PTGuoBif_JPjOzqYI1qDs3xxDXz

Booh





 

Compare Simple Simon 

 

9JOkrJmLAgqHOAkaFtFwTnwy1kgEESlRQQ9X2ZrY

Booh

Compare and Madam Dannielle/Sneaky Sims

“You are a manipulative, inconsistent Untrustworthy Madam”

k2Bp8RFjelYjKgblOEpUqZP6HxYyNDR4R4TLJrFx

Sniffles and cries as the audience Boohs

 

Compare “And finally  (as guards bring on Nick the Pimp)”

Compare No D

 vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR“Behave”

 

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndxYou can’t call him that there are Ladies and children present.

Compare “so what should I call him”

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx“It” is the response and whispers in ear

 

Compare Ladies and gentlemen, children of our audience

From Willy Wonker and Personal Services of Yate we have Nicola Petra Burkess


 

3NGzcon-xH_w0kdjHN2Sb6EFgOVOcAUn3Ly9sRTpNick the Pimp squeeks “I dont like your stupid play

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndxClown

clown throws custard pie in face of Nick the Pimp

vmRsVHbpOBU-im2-4BK3bvZYdqTXZXd_RYsBabMR Behave

0CEH-hS65AOqXFPpMZL0zUv6kGEg5zftewDJ9ndx”You’re not meant to like it You Burk!”

Y1SKFFL7JzzKYbjLUiFKZIW_XTzTTsajaFqbyDbo

BOOH

Compare “Well Adults I couldn’t say what I meant we have children present!”


 

Compare Ladies and gentlemen please show your appreciation for our Royal Guards

Hurrah

Compare Our Prince Regent

Lpg2cZVGZZz9IC49XrVPXATEHhPJsQeYFV9hTw0U

Compare and our beautiful Cinderella

6zuvXxtwmu12Igl7E-kogEZvTTmNSHuo_8_9j8PL

Loud Applause.


 

Compare 

 

I8lZNfUCJLKtxH9I5b_zOC6gITCwJyehy-DLk5pQ


 

And remember lovely audience our characters any resemblance to real life people is Not Coincidence

 

President Grump

Lying Boris

and Jimmy who faked it

all lived!

 

The End


Submitted: December 11, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Mark Quay. All rights reserved.

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