2020 book of poetry

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

this is a book of poetry i have written this year.




My feet are numb

My heart is cold

My soul is dead tonight.


I sit alone

I waste away

In the darkness

I can find...


The bitter taste

Of acetone

Still lingers

In my mind.


Your words are sharp

Your tongue is forked

Like the demon inside.


You left alone

In bitter hate,

Only pain she will find.


The lonely truth

That loving you

Is the pain deep inside.


A broken heart,

A shattered dream,

Pain so divine.


The last kiss,

The last touch

Nothing can reveal...


That life with

The lose of all love,

Could be so surreal 











The harshness of 

Your words are

Like sharp

Razors in my brain,


"your worthless...

No one will ever love you...

You are just a wast of space..."


My senses are numbed

By every heartless sound

That omes out of 

Your mouth.


This is what i know

This is what i am


I sit alone in my room...


Always  alone...


Thats all I've ever been

Thats all I'll ever be...



Always alone...






Two Roads



Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

So sorry i could not travel both

From where i couldn't see, long i stood

Dream within a dream is all that we see.


I cried myself to sleep, can i not grasp deep?

While i weep, while fingers creep

Few golden grains within a tormented roar

Amid a dream, amid a dream.


He who is living is now dead

We who are living are now dying in the end

I took the road last traveled

And cried with the cold.


My candle burns at both ends

It will not last the night.

Dry bones can harm no one

In a flash of light.






A Dream Within a Dream



Take this kiss upon the brow!

And in parting from you now,

Thus much let me avow.


You are not wrong,

Who deem that my days

Have been a dream.


I bit into an apple,

That tasted sweetly of Time.


The sun came out,

It was the old sun,

With only a few billion years left to shine.


Though all that draws us,

Heart to heart

Seems fainter now

And yet more clear.


And with desire and regret,

My soulhas drawn yours

a little nearer yet.


All that we see or seem to be,

Is but a dream

Within a dream.


I stand amid.

Tormented within.


is there no home where

Heavy earth melts

To bright air

That breaths no pain?


Where water leaves

No thirst again,

And the heat of fire is

Love's new birth?


I tell you,

Hopeless grief is passionless.

That only men incredulous of despair,

Half mad in anguish

through the midnight air.


I cried with cold.

I cried myselfto sleep

Like a child.


Fingers creep deep,

While i weep,

While i weep!


Can i not grasp them?

Can i not save myself

From this pitiless wave?


Is all that we see,

A dream within

A dream?





Running Out Of Time



If you look

At me now.

You'll probably 

Think I'm fine.


I have the talent

To fool you all.

Deep down  inside

I'm running out of time.


The masks i wear

Are many.

 I choose them

With care.


They hide the

Pain and torment.

All  that you see

Is the beautiful fake smile.


I wear my masks

So well that

No one knows

I'm hurting.


But inside

I'm already dead.

My mind just

Hasn't caught on yet.


The bright light 

Is blinding.

From the lens 

A tear drop fell.


For beautiful

Is a painful bliss

In the past,

I'm forced o dwell.


For every sip

Of happiness

There are 

Two swallows of pain.


I'm running out of time.

Everyone thinks im fine.

But im already

Dead inside.






Ash White Scars



If you look

At my wrist,

Oh the stories

You'll be told.


Ash white scars

Un-healing like

The scars within

My soul.


When people look at me,

Oh, what do they think?

Insanity is an escape.

And you know i'm on the brink.


Ash white scars

Un-healing like

The scars upon

My heart.





My life's been torn apart.


Ash white scars

Un-healing like

Those within

My mind.


The things i've seen

Can't be unseen


Or healed with time.


Ash white scars

Have shaped me

Into the person

That i am.


This cruel world

Loves to hate me.

And try to brake me 

From within.


Ash white scars

upon me

I've done this 

To myself


My need to be punished

Is so dire because of everyone else

That i just can't help

But love to hurt myself.






The Mad



I live in a world

Much different than yours.

A world where sinew is

The fabric of Time.

And the sky is

Drawn by skeleton birds.


The mad have

Nothing to fear.


Ours is a wold of

Pain beyond reason.

Ours is a world of

Bitter hate.

Ours is a world beyond

Screams and void of the mind.


That only exists

within the labyrinths

Of your nightmares.




I Miss You



Losing a

love hurts,

The loss of 

All love is tragic.


To see

You smile

And hear

You laugh.


Would be bittersweet.

To have you

Hold me

One last time.



My love

Would be amongst

The sweetest of dreams.


so take

This kiss

Upon your

Brow in parting

From you now.


I stand upon

You're grave

And weep.

Roses in hand.


I unceremoiously

Scatter them

One by one

Upon your grave.


The last i hold

A moment more.

Tearing off the 

Petals one by one.


He loves me...

He loves me not...

I miss you...

 It wasnt meant to be.






Anger On The Rocks



I'm sitting at

A bar on the inside

Waiting for my ride

On the outside.


I'm lookin all

Pretty and sweet tonight,

But that doesn't

Give you an invite.


To walk up to me

With those over used

Pick up lines...

Buddy just stop while you're ahead.


Cuz tonight

I'm drinking

Anger on the Rocks.


Buddy, I'm teling you,

I DON'T want 

To hear you talk.


Just Leave Me Alone.

Cuz tonight I'm drinking

Anger on the Rocks.


Ok that's IT!

if you DON'T

Leave me alone...


You'll find a 

Poolstick in a

Place where it

Doesn't fit!


I've given you

A fair warning

I've given you a chance to leave.


So that is why

You are now on your knees.


Cuz my 4 inch heel

Just kicked you

Where the sun don't shine.



Hit me again

And make it a double.

Tonight i'm a lone drinker.


Anger on the Rocks.








she lays awake,

Its half past 3

Another sleepless night.


She's locked inside

The dark depths

Of her mind.


Forced to relive it all


The bitter taste

Of acetone still

Lingers in her mind.


And the words so

Over used that now

Mean nothing to her.


The rose's are wilted,

The love is gone,

The pain's so divine.


The lonely truth

That loving you

Was the pain deep inside.


Never again will she need you.

Never again will her heart be whole.


She'll never forget the

Things you'd whisper to her,

When the world seemed so cold.


You memory, it will

Haunt her, she will

Never know what's right.


Her confidence you have 

Shattered, from the things

You do at night.


Love has forsaken her.

She is now always numb.


She was your muse and

You beat her like a drum.


She has now

Come to realize.


How worthless 

She  really is.

To you ad everyone

Around her.


She is now 

All alone.










We've all seen her.

That scared looking

Girl, sitting all alone

In the snow.


We've all SEEN her

But no one really 

Cares enough to

SEE her.


This awful world

Has forsaken her.

She has been

Defeated by the pain.


No one stops to

Help her, or give

Her words of comefort.

She's  all alone.


There is no food 

In her stomach.

There is no water 

To quench her thirst.



There is no blankets

Nor pillows

To keep her warm.


All she's known is pain.

No love  or compassion.

She's at the end of this game.


In the morning you won't see her...

Nor ever again.


Cuz last night

She jumped off

The bridge, into

The frozen nothingness.


This world had forsaken her.

But NOW maybe

You can SEE...


That all it takes

Is the kindness

Of a stranger to

Heal one so numb.

Submitted: December 14, 2020

© Copyright 2021 zarahmarayha. All rights reserved.

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