Time to Litigate Mr. Grunch

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Grinch made his peace with the Who's, Grunch, not so much.

Once upon a time, there was a creature who tried to steal Christmas from a small town.  In the end, he became great friends with the citizens of that ‘burg’.  But that creature's distant cousin did the same thing some time later.  This ‘creature’ had a sharp lawyer on retainer and on speed dial.  This is his response to the defamatory song they chose to write about him.


It’s your preliminary hearing, Mr. Grunch

It’s my first big chance to orate

Your prickly skin’s a personal issue; your charm’s endearingly late, Mr. Grunch

With regard to greasy, blackened bananas, I’m a lawyer so I can re - laaaaaate


We’ll own their whole town, Mr. Grunch

When we’re through they’ll be in quite a hole

The allegations they are multiple, I’m sure they’ll be found culpable, Mr. Grunch

We’ll tell them where to stick their thirty nine and a half foot pole!


We’ll redefine the term monster, Mr. Grunch

We’ll make it look like you’re just misunderstood

The defendant’s we will depose them, their possessions, we will repo them, Mr. Grunch

By the time we’ve twisted this court in knots, they’ll have to classify you as goooooooood!


They’ve defamed you, Mr. Grunch

We're quite ready to make them squeal

They haven’t got a chance, even if they choose to appeal, Mr. Grunch

With a surprise witness, initials C.L.W., the chance of victory is sealed!


During the discovery phase, Mr. Grunch

On their extensive assets we’ll feast

Our tort’s not without merit; our suit they’ll have to bear it, Mr. Grunch

We’ll get all of their presents and decorations; even their prized roast beast!

Submitted: December 17, 2020

© Copyright 2021 wellokiguess. All rights reserved.

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Harry Little

Well, it's time to litigate Mr. Grunch,
For he made their Christmas a hunch.
_(Harry Little)_

Wed, February 3rd, 2021 8:36pm

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