There’s too much flesh.
Isn’t that weird?
In the past they’ve never bothered me
But now
I don’t like my boobs.
They’re too much.
My name pricks needles into my skin
My hair’s too long
Make it shorter
Shorter
Shorter
Shorter
But this is wrong.
Why do I feel like this?
Trans?
I’m not a boy.
But there’s nothing else
So I’m a girl.
.
.
There is something else?
Prophet and apostles tell me no
So that’s it
But…
I can’t do this
I’m not a girl.
I’m just not
My name drives daggers through my skin
I don’t want makeup
I don’t want to paint my nails
I don’t want a spa day
I don’t like cutesy
I don’t like frilly
Stop assuming
Stop assuming
Stop assuming
I’m not a girl.
I might’ve been crazy
But I’m not now
And I’m not a girl.
But I’m not a boy
So what am I?
I’m A.
Agender.
I don’t want to tell you
I don’t feel like talking about it
It’s just a label
It’s still me.
I’m not a girl
That’s it.
I’m not doing drugs
I’m not turning away from the church
I’m not pregnant
I’m just not a girl.
Never have been
Just didn’t know
There was ever a name for it.
I don’t know where to go
What to do from here.
E knows
And I love them
I mean, I really love them
And they’re just like me
We’re both AFAB and genderqueer
And part of the same church
They just decided to come out
As genderfluid
I chose to stay closeted
Hidden from everyone.
Except them.
I told E, of course E knows.
E understands
E supports
E knows
Does E reciprocate?
Submitted: December 19, 2020
© Copyright 2023 CrazyA. All rights reserved.
Comments
Well, that read was an interesting journey! Thanks kindly for sharing the exploration...
Sat, December 19th, 2020 8:23pmFacebook Comments
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Bert Broomberg
A great read and a great topic. Well done.
Sat, December 19th, 2020 5:54pm