You Won't Be Needing This

Strapped down tight on the operating table, being held down by nylon stockings tied at my wrists and ankles.

Without using any anesthesia, Dr. Lovestrange opens my skull with a baby alligator.

Then, using an ice cream scoop, takes out pieces of my brain.

As bits of my brain plop and slide on the chipped plate, looking like lumps of cauliflower.

Nurse Pussygood slides over a 100 inch screen television over me.

The screen is divided into eight sections.

She turns on the television.

Fox News, Mitch McConnell.

CNN, Alexandra Ocasio Cortez.

Reality Show, which is staged.

Infomercial, selling traps for those pesty, annoying snails.

Fucked up Japanese game show where the grandmother is raped by a guy in a Godzilla suit.

Porn, and not very good porn. A lot of talking.

Facebook, where some influencer is brushing her teeth with her own shit.

ESPN2, curling semifinals from Moose Jaw Saskatchewan.

Religious channel, some slick talking huskter wearing a bad toupee, pleading for his suckers to give him money.

After 24 hours of this.

Nurse Pussygood pulls the television away.

Dr. Lovestrange stands over me with the chipped plate that holds the clumps of my cauliflower brain says,

"I told you that you won't be needing this."

Dr. Lovestrange walks over towards a garbage pail and throws the chipped plate that held clumps of my cauliflower brain away.