Nero's Yacht

Reads: 145  | Likes: 1  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Nero tossed his golf shoes in the sea before they tracked sand on his yacht.

Nero tossed his golf shoes in the sea before they tracked sand on his yacht. He whistled to his first mate to set the boat out. He looked over the immaculate McMansions of his own design and sipped a flute of champagne. He owned all the land, everyone around him just got to live on it.

“How could this all vanish in an afternoon?” he asked. 

“I don’t know, but you’re going to have to do something about it,” said his wife, Alice, as she stood over him. He opened his eyes. He was at home, in the clubhouse to be exact, surrounded by bottles.

“What are we going to do?” he asked, shaking from the booze’s great exodus from his pores.

“We’ll think of something,” she said as she surveyed the ashen pits where the McMansions used to be.

Nero assembled the good people of his gated community and stood before them. His mansion rose behind him. Ahead of him was the ruins of his community and all those who looked to him for a sign. 

“I understand that you’re distraught over last night’s fire. Thankfully, out of your many contributions to this community over the years, I have prepared a package that will end your suffering henceforth.” He cleared his throat and dissolved into a coughing fit so violent that children covered their eyes. He regained his composure as spittle dripped down his chin. Alice stared with bewildered contempt. Nero pulled out his flashcards and began to read:

“I will generously hire more staff to encircle and study you, to make better decisions about providing for you. We have also allotted a generous amount to the Romanus Desertum construction company to build ever higher barriers between you and your neighbors and the world at large. We will also be cranking out a satellite to put into orbit, to ensure that your afternoon walks are untroubled by geese. Finally, my flatscreen fell over last night, and I’ll have to buy a new one.”

“What about our homes?” asked a man clutching his daughter tightly to his chest. “How are we supposed to stay out of the rain?”

“Well, believe it or not I actually consulted two of you over social media about this very issue!" he said as an employee of his scuttled by and dumped the empty packaging for a 4K television onto the lawn. "I’ve decided to let you all have the box!" Nero turned and ran back into the comfort of his mansion giggling like a child and anticipating a long evening curled up by the fire playing with a ball of yarn. The people shivered outside, trapped. 


Submitted: December 23, 2020

© Copyright 2021 william edge. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



Nero is a considerate man. He knew what the problem was and solved it.
Nice read!

Wed, December 23rd, 2020 6:01pm

LE. Berry

Thinly veiled and well written piece william. I can say this in the real Nero's defense, at least he knew how to play the violin...

Wed, December 23rd, 2020 10:22pm

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