an accurate portrayal of a loathsome creature

an accurate portrayal of a loathsome creature

i wish i could be buried with this post
peering at myself sidelong
i appear weak and ugly
melancholic, lost to hope
inspiring disappointment
and poorly concealed pity
deliberately a degenerate
debilitated and dishevelled
having vainly dispensed of dignity
here i see the value of humour
genuinely self-deprecating
at the expense of pride and 'good'
such traits manifest
a loathsome spectacle
contemptible, by my very nature
anxious and neurotic
an ignominious louse, willingly
shuddering in the freezing gale
naturally, for better or worse
i will endure this fate eternally
in apprehension and despair.