Goblin Gardens

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Not sure if you have goblins in your neighborhood? There are ways to tell.

Goblins on Other Place are culturally diverse, with no two groups exactly alike.Isolated communities develop independently of one another, but traveling goblins carry ideas from one group to the next.Generally these ideas are stupid, which isn’t a problem because goblins are always eager to try new and potentially self-destructive trends.Most of these fads die out, sometimes with their makers, to be replaced by new ‘traditions’ days or weeks later.Any given settlement will go adopt, experiment with and reject a dozen new ideas in a year.


That said, cunning explorers have found certain features common to most goblin settlements.Sometimes it is possible to determine when these practices started and spread, while others seem ancient beyond reckoning.

Goblin Gardens

Goblins rarely grow plants, mainly because they live in caves, slums, wastelands and other locations not known for good soil.A few goblins grow offensive plants like corpse weed and itch blossoms for use against enemies.For most goblins, though, agriculture is too complex and time consuming to hold their attention.But there is a feature common to goblin settlements called a goblin gardens that, oddly enough, actually have no plants.

Goblin gardens are common areas within goblin settlements, open to all and owned by none.These areas are often close to the surface world for cave dwellers.Here goblins place items that are somewhat useful but not worth carrying around all the time.These can include terra cotta jugs, mop handles, wood buckets, old belts, bent shovels, dog collars and other moderately useful junk.Goblins excel at making due with barely useful tools and equipment because they lack the money and materials to have better.

Rather than let this rubbish clutter up their personal living spaces, goblins dump them on the ground wherever there’s enough space.This junk piles up quickly, so to keep walkways clear goblins balance or stick one item onto another.This usually starts with sturdy objects like boat oars and broken coat racks.More bits of trash are then hung on them, tied to them or even nailed on as the junk grows ever higher.In time these perilously stacked junk piles form bizarre shapes as bits are added at random until they resemble bizarre trees of trash, some eight feet tall and twice as wide.These turn into veritable forests of tree shaped junk.When (not if) a trash pile tips over, goblins gather up the fallen refuse and rebuild the pile.

Goblin gardens grow and shrink over time.When goblins need materials for building homes, disguising traps, using them as tools or trading the rare useful item to strangers, they pull them out of the garden.Hungry goblins will even eat these disgusting trees, as goblins are very open minded concerning food.In quiet times goblins add more material to the gardens, enlarging trash trees or making new ones.No one claims ownership of the junk, although goblins endlessly critique the designs and try to improve them.On very rare occasions goblins add valuables to a goblin garden, but only if they don’t realize its worth, such as a silver ring tarnished black.

No sane person would want anything off these trash trees, but goblin gardens are still useful signs to the careful explorer.Finding one is proof there is a sizeable goblin settlement nearby.Larger goblin gardens mean larger settlements, although small gardens might mean a community under enough stress that they’ve broken down their garden to use the components.

The most famous goblin garden was found in the city of Chalerdon.Sewer workers doing routine maintenance discovered what had to be the largest goblin garden in the world.Thirty trash trees rose up from the filth, a veritable forest of garbage.Not sure what to do, the workers reported their find to the authorities, who filed a report and promptly forgot about it.

This report eventually reached someone who paid attention to it, and to the goblins’ dismay a large number of humans came and carried the junk away, careful to preserve their putrid find.This was then carried to the Chalerdon Modern Art Museum, where it currently occupies an entire wing in what art critics have called, “A bold message of post-consumerism, societal apathy and the decline of the neo-capitalist society.”No one has been able to figure out what that means, and those who try often go mad.

The goblins still haven’t gotten over the shame of it all.

Submitted: December 29, 2020

© Copyright 2021 ArthurD7000. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



Lol, that is a great little piece! I loved the comment about the museum's "title" for the piece.

Wed, December 30th, 2020 3:56am


I've never been a fan of modern art, and there have been real world situations where garbage men mistook "art" for trash, or perhaps just recognized it for what it really was.

Tue, December 29th, 2020 8:03pm

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