She Deserves Better

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Wisdom Warehouse

I think all unrequited love has an expiry date.

She Deserves Better

What l Want You To Know

They say honesty is the foundation of love.

There are words l wish l could take back. 

Moments l'do do anything to relive.

I wanted you more than anything. 

Every fibre of my being was attracted to you.

The blunder l made was to believe every lie you told me about you wanting me.

 

Once upon a time, l opened my heart to you.

But l couldn't tell whether you liked me or not as your heart was as concealed and unpredictable as the tactics of a detective investigating a prime suspect.

You "killed" me with your boyish gaze.

My heart was hot within me and my knees trembled. 

I always wanted more than that as l had anticipated that we could become an item.

You made sure to show l belonged to you and of course your trademark was a bruise.

You were always there but, the fact that you couldn't take a step further and come to me is what is still battling me.

 

You will never truly know how much you meant to me. 

I can't stop asking myself what stopped you from coming to me.

If you didn't have the intentions to make me yours, then why are you still even there?

Can't you go away from me and let me be?

I wish you love me the way l love you.

But, l guess it is not meant to be.

This whole situation between us is as suffocating as a collapsed and abandoned mine. 

 

But, this is a lesson that will help me learn the truth as it is.

That it is very important to guard your own heart, for unto it are the issues of life.

This one sided love has torn me apart. 

This unrequited love has broken my heart.

And what hurt me the most is little did you know l was dying to the very end. 

We built it up to watch it fall like we meant nothing at all.

I gave and gave the best of me but, l couldn't give you what you need.

 

You chose to keep me in the dark concerning how you feel about me.

You walked away and you stole my heart and my life just to find what you were looking for, which l still don't know what it is up to now.

You said these words, "l will love you the right way" but, boy it didn't make me feel any better, it was like adding salt to the wound that was already in my heart.

What did you expect me to say?

You appeared like you had changed but, to you it was just a game of hide and seek.

You touched my heart and disappeared and l never knew how much it hurts here until now.

First to come is trust and then love but, in our own situation, there was none of the above and l'm aware of it. 

 

You are not the guy that you used to be anymore.

I would still be yours if you only knew how to ACT and mean what you said.

But, you underestimated a girl like me. 

And now l love it when l see your face drop.

I told you several times not to count me out but, you only saw it as a joke.

So l'm letting go of everything we were even if it wasn't defined but, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

I know it hurts you too as much as it hurts me.

 

Say you are hurt, say you are lonely, say l forgot to give you what you need. 

Nothing you ever said that could drive me away coz l know l'm still inside of you.

I know you will remember me in those moments before you sleep. 

Promise me that it won't make your heart beat. 

Don't cry for me even if it's hard l'm okay.

Those sad looking eyes of yours will hurt me more.

You might know all the right things to say but, l can't wait anymore.

 

You are not the person that you used to be, the one l want who wanted me. 

The truth is you no longer like me like you used to before, you just like the chase and attention that comes from me. 

I guess it gives you euphoria.

So please be real because it doesn't matter anymore.

Let me go now because this time has made me strong.

I'm starting to move on and l'm sorry to say your chance has come and gone. 

 

This all or nothing way of loving will get me living without you but, what can l do?

I guess l was getting kinda used to being someone you once loved. 

I used to go crazy, thinking "should l message him?" "No let me not" "But l wanna talk to him" But if l do won't he feel bothered?" Yeah, yeah probably" let me just leave it"

I ran away sometimes whenever l got too vulnerable. That was not your fault.

Everytime it got too real l feeled like sabotaging everything and run away.

 

Everytime l pushed you away l really wanted to say l'm sorry but l said nothing hoping it could give you the drive to come closer to me for real. 

For the bad times you were going through, l would have climbed the mountains to tackle them for you all just so l could see you smile again.

And you threw that away for nothing and you still can't see what you did to me and you can't even see how much l cared for you.

All l used to think about was you but all you think about is yourself. 

I wish that l could let you love me.

Life is a game made for everyone and love is the prize.

I guess we both lost the prize. 

 

I think l was just a hard nut to crack.

But, l'm just a good girl who needed a little company.

I guess l asked for too much without even being heard of what l was asking for.

Now talking about girl l love you, you are the one.

Oh please, this just looks like another re-run of a heartbreak. 

How could we quit something we never even tried? 

But you still can't tell me why? 

Therefore, what else could be new between us?

 

Your eyes were a pair of shimmering gems l used to like looking into but, l'm going to do all l can not to gaze at them again. In case l might not be able to let you go.

It is because l liked you better.

I had some sleepless nights that l cried a river after making a decision to finally letting you go.

But, after crying l realized the loss isn't that bad.

Because the day we parted stiff and dry without even saying goodbye, was the day everything ended. 

But what we did was to take injuries from each other and pretend we aren't hurt just to comfort each other.

 

The lives we play behind the mask is a constant rain of pain. 

Our minds and our love belong to those who ask. 

To those who seek to change for the better.

We can only be patient and hope that one day we find a person who sees and values our true self.

As for me, l believe in the things that l see, l pray. 

I don't know if l can anymore so watch me break.

Because l can see everything turn away from me. That was a while ago.

 

I gave you what l thought you would appreciate but, l guess it wasn't enough for you.

I'm letting you go and loving myself.

I can love with all my heart and l know l have so much to give but, l guess l was giving it to the wrong person.

Sometimes we learn the harder way.

But, now it's time to go, curtains finally closing.

I will bring it all to an end even if it's not okay.

By all means l'll stop and withstand it even if it's not okay. 

I can't wait for the day that l find someone where l don't have to question whether l'm truly loved or not all because my heart would have perceived it already. 

I DESERVE BETTER!

To all the beautiful ladies who have been or are still struggling with unrequited love ( one-sided love). I want you to know that you are worth more than you give yourself credit for. You have been happy before and you will be happy again. You are beautiful and loved and worth it. All l ask of you is to believe in yourself, invest in yourself and patiently wait for God to bring you to your Mr Right. YOU DESERVE BETTER!

****The End***

 


Submitted: January 09, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Tariro Tsaurayi. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Ann Sepino

For some reason, I really dig this somewhat avant-garde poem. It might be because the message remains direct even though the wording of the two lines are different. Thanks for writing and publishing this. :)

Sun, January 10th, 2021 2:19pm

Tariro Tsaurayi

Ann Sepino, thank you very much for your feedback. I appreciate it a lot

Sun, January 10th, 2021 9:53pm

Tariro Tsaurayi

Ann Sepino, thank you very much for your feedback. I appreciate it a lot

Sun, January 10th, 2021 9:53pm

Tariro Tsaurayi

Ann Sepino, thank you very much for your feedback. I appreciate it a lot

Sun, January 10th, 2021 9:53pm

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