Water

I used to have dreams about drowning, then when I let the water fill my mouth, waiting to choke on it, I could breathe. My skin was slowly absorbed; my eyes were bright, lips red, and then my lips were black, my eyes dark. The last of my hair disappeared like the rest of me into the darkness, I kept sinking, waiting for the bottom, and there was never a bottom. There was only me, sinking deeper. I used to think that there was only bad and good, I cant tell if I was naive or innocent. Now all I see is people who are stuck in black waters, never drowning. Id realised every night when id wake up, that I was waiting for something at the end. I was only ever dragged out by a fierce current, my hands grasping at empty waters. Then my limbs became heavy like rocks and everything became quiet, the water a base noise, my breathing softly surrounding me, as if I was living in a sea shell. I was inside of the darkness again, a place where you go after a moments silence, when the hairs on your arms rise and you look behind you. I was in the unsettling reminder, the type that feels like boiling water in your chest, when you feel sick suddenly and you wonder why. I was inside of the darkness that surrounds us all.