A Plan, a 10-minute play

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Two people discuss the importance of having a life plan versus living by the seat of your pants.

This is one of eight short plays in the "Random Nature of Life" series. They were all translated into Spanish and performed in June 2018 in Oaxaca, Mexico.

CHARACTERS

 

A

B

TIME

The Present

PLACE

A Bar

*Author strongly recommends casting actors other than two white men.

 

1.

 

(Lights up)

 

A

And another thing.

 

B

The doctor is in.

 

A

I’m already bored.

 

B

It’s only been a month.

 

A

Feels like a millennium.

 

B

Whatya been doin’?

 

A

Not much. Coming here.

 

B

Join any clubs or anything?

 

A

Nah, all snobs and bores.

 

B

Staying active? Bowling? Golf?

 

A

With my sciatica?

 

B

Tell me your day.

 

A

Eat, watch TV, come here.

 

B

That’s it?

 

A

Pretty much.

 

2.

 

B

You’re doin’ it all wrong.

 

A

Says the know-it-all.

 

B

I know enough.

 

A

Really?

 

B

Really.

 

A

Whadya know?

 

B

You had no plan.

 

A

I had, have a plan.

 

B

I’m all ears.

 

A

It’s basic. (pause) Simple.

 

B

They’re always the best.

 

A

You won’t like it.

 

B

Why?

 

A

Because I know you.

 

B

Try me.

 

3.

 

A

Ok. Living life my way.

 

B

Hmmm. Well...you know...

 

A

You don’t like it?

 

B

That’s not a plan.

 

A

Knew you wouldn’t like it.

 

B

Sounds like a marketing slogan.

 

A

For what?

 

B

Someone without a plan.

 

A

You have a plan?

 

B

I’m a planner.

 

A

You never plan.

 

B

I plan. Silently.

 

A

Tell me the last one.

 

B

My trip to—

 

A

Bali. Thirty years ago.

 

4.

 

B

It was Rio.

 

A

Either way, you never went.

 

B

But, I planned it.

 

A

You got a plan now?

 

B

You should hear it.

 

A

A good one?

 

B

Better than good. Stupendous!

 

A

Tell me.

 

B

Can’t. (pause) Not finished.

 

A

I see. Classified. Top Secret.

 

B

Ok, I’ll tell you.

 

A

This oughta be good.

 

B

When it’s finished.

 

A

You got no plan.

 

B

Let’s talk about your plan.

 

5.

 

A

I’ve decided, no plan.

 

B

Got any hobbies?

 

A

You bet. Poker.

 

B

Bad choice.

 

A

Why?

 

B

You suck at it.

 

A

I’m improving.

 

B

Not according to Billy.

 

A

Big mouth.

 

B

You always talk about Europe.

 

A

Yeah, especially Italy.

 

B

So, go.

 

A

Takes money.

 

B

You’re loaded.

 

A

Not like you think.

 

6.

 

B

Oh. Bad investments?

 

A

I’m paying for assisted living.

 

B

Not you!

 

A

My parents.

 

B

They in a good place?

 

A

The best.

 

B

Using your money?

 

A

Mostly.

 

B

They still healthy?

 

A

Too healthy to die.

 

B

That could change. Life’s fragile.

 

A

We’ll live forever!

 

B

Here today, gone tomorrow.

 

A

Not me.

 

B

So, Europe’s out. See the USA.

 

7.

 

A

In my Chevrolet.

 

B

Go for it!

 

A

I need a companion.

 

B

Try eHarmony. It’s the best.

 

A

You tried it?

 

B

Lots of times.

 

A

But, you’re alone.

 

B

I’m picky.

 

A

Or they are.

 

B

You’ve never been picky.

 

A

And I’m still alone.

 

B

What a pair we are.

 

A

You really have a plan?

 

B

Of course...not.

 

A

Didn’t think so.

 

8.

 

B

Plans are overrated.

 

A

Absolutely. Only losers plan.

 

B

We fly...

 

A and B

By the seat of our pants.

 

(A and B clink beer bottles and drink)

 

B

You’ll think of something.

 

A

If I want to.

 

B

You’re smart.

 

A

Einstein smart.

 

B

Well...

 

A

Don’t need to be Einstein.

 

B

A plan will appear.

 

A

When it’s time.

 

B

That’s how it works.

 

A

You can’t force these things.

 

9.

 

B

No, you can’t.

 

A

That’s not how life works.

 

B

Amen.

 

A

I gotta go.

 

(A stands)

 

B

Go where?

 

A

I’m not sure.

 

B

Then stay. Have another.

 

A

I could.

 

B

Of course. You’re retired.

 

A

I am.

 

(A sits)

 

B

That’s the beauty of it.

 

A

Do what I want.

 

B

When you want.

 

A

Eat when I’m hungry.

 

10.

 

B

Drink when you’re thirsty.

 

A

Hardly need a clock.

 

B

The sun is your clock.

 

A

I’m gonna eat.

 

B

You love the burgers here.

 

A

Chinese, maybe.

 

B

Ok, Chinese it is.

 

A

Maybe I’ll just walk around.

 

B

Oh, I envy your life.

 

A

You’ll be there soon.

 

B

Yes, I will.

 

A

With or without a plan.

 

B

With or without. Can’t wait.

 

A

Italian sounds good.

 

B

Sure. Thinking about Italy, right?

11.

 

A

Pizza or pasta.

 

B

Your decision of the day.

 

(A stands and tries to give B some money, but B waves it away)

 

A

See you tomorrow?

 

B

That’s the plan.

 

A

Maybe I’ll check out eHarmony.

 

B

I knew you would.

 

A

To plans.

 

B

Or not.

 

(THEY clink bottles and drink. A exits. Five to ten seconds after he leaves, car tires SCREECH and a THUD. B reacts. Lights down)

 

THE END


Submitted: January 17, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Michael Licwinko. All rights reserved.

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