The sinusoidal Resolutions (2nd Place in Archia's Review Contest in Review Chain House)

Reads: 324  | Likes: 3  | Shelves: 2  | Comments: 6

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Review Chain

Have you ever wanted to do something when you were at the peak of your inspiration and then the next instant fell back to how you were again? This poem illustrates the very moment when we deceivingly seem to change with time.

Poetry submission for Prompt 2 "Finally with a tick things were changing, but that doesn't mean things had changed" of Archia's contest.

 

On my way to the morning prayer,
 
cursing myself why I gotta do this every time
 
when I could be spending my time elsewhere,
 
till my pocket’s left with only a dime.
 
 
 
With mind chattering like tumultuous waves
 
becoming more uncontrollable under a wicked storm.
 
'Ding! Ding!’ a sudden tintinnabulation opened the gateways
 
that connected the soul, making the heart feel warm.
 
 
 
An unexplainable feeling though nostalgic;
 
Giving instant goosebumps that I’d least expect.
 
With eyes closed and feet pausing; I wondered 'What is this magic?'
 
- A simple bell could make the mind and soul intersect?
 
 
 
The waves within died down 
 
to become a still sea.
 
The face that bore the frown
 
became carefree.
 
 
 
The five little rings briefly reminded life’s purpose,
 
I decided not to do what I’d done before.
 
'Tik tok tik', it’d have been only an hour or less,
 
With the sermon over, I found myself back at the  casino’s door. 


Submitted: January 17, 2021

© Copyright 2021 shika. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

XCulletto

This poem has great rhythm. And the word choice--wow! Love it.

Mon, January 18th, 2021 4:44pm

Author
Reply

Thank you XCuletto :)

Tue, January 19th, 2021 10:01am

Harris Proctor

Hi Shika,

Well done! I don't think I've seen "tintinnabulation" since Poe :) I really love the calm simplicity of your penultimate stanza. It is a beautiful contrast to the more robust rhythms and language of the rest of the piece, especially the last stanza. Excellent job and clever use of the prompt!

Good luck with the contest and beyond,

H.P.

Thu, January 21st, 2021 7:53pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for taking the time to review this and for your encouraging words. I am glad you liked it :)

Wish you good luck for the contest and all your future endeavors too!

Thu, January 21st, 2021 10:03pm

Archia

I loved that sense of inspiration and determination of change. I feel like that was captured so strongly in this and then it made that reversion back to normal stronger and bleaker. There are things which can seem so motivational at the time for a moment, but then it's easy to slip back into old ways. Your poem was great and congratulations on coming second.

Fri, January 29th, 2021 1:48am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much Archia for organizing this contest and for your thoughtful review. I am extremely elated knowing that the meaning I wanted to convey through this poem has been felt by you, spot on.

My special thanks to you for inspiring me to write this piece. This wouldn't have been possible if not for your nudge :)

Sun, January 31st, 2021 7:57pm

A. Rhetters

A well done poem! It truly shows the contrast of people acting religious as opposed to living in the way their religion tells them to! (Going to a sermon, versus going to a casino later.)

Also, the speed at which the speaker’s thoughts go could be relatable to someone who has ADHD in the sense that they can try to focus on one thing, but soon they are bombarded by a bunch of other thoughts.

Another way to look at this poem is that the speaker is disinterested in the sermon as their thoughts are way more amusing to them. Yet despite this, it is as if the sermon provides the stimuli needed for the speaker to come up with these creative ideas.

I don’t have much to critique about it, but I can easily see how come this was a winning poem. I did enjoy the word choice you used for this piece, as it was rich with imagery and told so much about the speaker. Keep up the good work!

Mon, March 22nd, 2021 4:49pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, A. Rhetters for your compliments and motivation. I really loved the various interpretations of the poem that you had described. They do fit in so well. To be honest, when I wrote that twisted ending at the last about the Casino, I was chuckling to myself. I had wanted to take the rhythm so high in the beginning and then make it strike low unexpectedly. Never did I expect this to win but your affirmation really encourages me. Thank you so much once again for taking the time to review this poem, Appreciate it!

Sat, March 27th, 2021 10:03am

MARIA OCHA

it is a really nice poem. I like the two different images, going to the church and going to the casino. It feels like the speaker is trying to make a change by going to the church and changing their own ways. but they struggles to concentrate on the sermon and their minds wonder around. at the end of the day they failed to change themself.

The images you use illustrate this are interesting. your word choice is also great.

Mon, July 5th, 2021 7:45pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reviewing this Maria Ocha. Your genuine appreciation made my day :)

Mon, July 19th, 2021 2:08am

ThatGreenWriter

Hi Shika,

I loved this poem! I thought the rhyme scheme you used worked really well with this poem, and it was so well written! You managed to show strong and powerful emotions in only 5 stanzas which is really hard to do but works so well when it's pulled off.

Looking forward to reading more of your poetry,
Lily

Sat, July 17th, 2021 10:11am

Author
Reply

Hi Lily,
Not many appreciate the rhyme scheme and sometimes think it's boring. I am truly happy that you found this interesting. Your encouragement means a lot to me. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this,

Best regards,
Shika.

Mon, July 19th, 2021 2:10am

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