The Dance

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

The feelings I personally felt along my dark road of psychological health.

Edit:I did this on word pad and will use google docs in the future.

The Dance

Let me show you, let us feel the ventures. Within the subliminal mind erupts a danger. From your past you feel the sounds and vibrations of everything that has happened around you. You feel so cold and distant, ever numb to touch. You are gone, deep into the rabbit hole in your mind. Lost in a million of directions, begging and hopping you find a way out. Your finally begin to set your eyes on the only direction, you see a light, you see freedom.

The light should feel so warm, but instead the brittle cold backs you off, back into the void of your mind. The insanity draws you in, almost feeling as a mothers touch. Before you realis you are engulfed in the hell that is your psychological reality. Swarms of thoughts, good and bad, lingering dreams, and forgetten memories taint your eyes. Everything you see and feel is a memory. You're frozen, stuck to the confines of your bed. You struggle to move and you feel your ability of breath slipping you. 

You are lost, drowning in the sorrow of your mind, an anchor forever holding you down. The ability to move seems so foreign as if it's your first time moving in life. You scream out hoping somebody will hear you, but your sounds mean nothing. Your efforts are mute, the slide out as you gasp for air. Tears become showers, feeling the cold salty water flow acrossed your face. You feel like you dob't know what to do, how can I live like this? 

You slowly begin to welcome the demons of your mind to dance with you. The dance is calming, yet haunting as it feeds within you. You are close for once, to the darkness you cling. The continious reminder of sorrow engulfs your heart, mind, and soul. You are no longer free, you are captive in your own body, by the host of darkness. Where will it end, how long will I be able to dance...

Freedom seems impossible, yet you feel very deeply inside you that there's a way out. The feeling is warm, it feels freeing, you finally think you have found the door to end this sanity. Your thoughts go adrift, commiting yourself to this light you found. You can finally leave the bed,you have so much to prepare.

Shopping, to most is so idiotic. People buying masses of items they will just throw away and end up in a dump. "Ignore them" your darkness tells you, "your shopping list is so very short." You ring out at the teller, hoping she grab to nerve to connect the dots, instead she given you the total and tells you in a sarcastic way "have a great day". You exit, defeated and in anguish hoping they would have found the help you were begging for.

Night falls, and the air is cold. You start the bath, mixed in with your favorite soaps and fragrances. You stare your reflection, hoping to see something different but soon it all fades away. You take your clothes off, and soak in the deep tub. finally you are prepared, you are relaxed. You grab the blade, and can see yourself across the sharp edges. The darkness grabs you and says "it's time to go home."

You breathe, for once a breathe feels full and not stolen as you take the blade acrossed your wrist. flowing, warmth, these are the feelings that surround you. The pain hurts, but you finally feel free. reliqueshed from all this pain that has been build for so long. the lights begin to dim and you feel sleepy. The darkness is leaving slowly, but on the way out it becons "welcome home". You fade, wondering how or if anything could have changed. You have escaped...

 

-Reach out for help, people will listen....

Anthony.


Submitted: January 18, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Dreams Ruined. All rights reserved.

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