we are them

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic

it’s my first day back. the weird thing is everything seems kind of normal. like nothing changed. i died in the year 2020. some goddam virus (pun intended) that’s so extinct no one here even remembers its name killed me. i can’t remember its name myself, i think it started with a c. it’s been so long, my life as a human is kind of a blur - like something that happened, but also didn’t happen. i guess that’s the end result of my awakening. i was gone for six centuries, but now i’m back. i gotta tell you though, 2664 isn’t that interesting.

It’s my first day back. The weird thing is everything seems kind of normal. Like nothing changed. I died in the year 2020. Some goddam virus (pun intended) that’s so extinct no one here even remembers its name killed me. I can’t remember its name myself, I think it started with a C. It’s been so long, my life as a human is kind of a blur - like something that happened, but also didn’t happen. I guess that’s the end result of my awakening. I was gone for six centuries, but now I’m back. I gotta tell you though, 2664 isn’t that interesting.

I thought there would be flying cars and stuff. All that’s here is some tech for voice interfacing and holographic presentations. Phones are smaller, cars drive themselves, planes too – but that’s about it. My spark was dead. Beelzebub had made sure of that. But I was still kind of excited to come back you know?  I had cried for so long. When I finally let go I thought I could make it up to myself. I was here to cause mayhem and mass destruction, but I could get a burger in my free time. I remembered burgers. They weren’t there anymore.

I’ve decided to keep a journal for reasons I can’t fathom just yet. Maybe it’s because I know I could go back to hell any moment. I could have my demonic leash relinquished and then I’d just be another soul guided by the waves of Acheron. Begging for forgiveness knowing it will never be given. Damnation as a word is sort of superficial. The shit that happens to you when you go down there is worse than damnation. Damnation means condemning someone to a fate. In hell, there is no condemnation. They don’t condemn you. They nurture your flame. They break every bit of good that’s left in you. They turn you into the very reason why you came there in the first place.

I died a hero you know. Medal of Honor and everything. It let me see the posthumus presentation so it could taunt me with it later on. I never deserved that medal, but that doesn’t matter now. No. Now I’m a subject to its worship. Set on earth to create more lost causes… Now that I think about it. Maybe that’s what happened to me. I never knew my father, and my mother died at a young age. My aunt did the best she could but she could never fill the void that developed. Its darkness could have come then. I never understood what brought me to hell in the first place.  

My name is Isaac. You want to know something funny? The first Isaac’s here too. I would say it’s Karma really, my mother would certainly agree. She was a bible fanatic. She wasn’t around when I got here – thank God (that’s gonna get me a lashing). I guess that means she really was holier than thou. Good for her. I’m writing this because despite the loss of my spark, my torturous memories have brought something to mind. If I can get this account out there, then I might be able to fuck with them too. For all eternity – just like what I’m going through.

You need to understand. Demons, they’re not fallen Angels. They are us. Divinity can never be sullied by human intervention. Adam and Eve had nothing to do with it. Only three demons fell with Lucifer. Azazel, Metatron, and Gabriel. I know right? The messenger and voice of God fell with Lucifer – the Morning Star, the creator of worship. It’s unbelievable, but the older ones swear it happened. That’s what started all this. God’s three favorite sons had enough. And then all hell broke loose (once again, pun intended). Do you know I laugh a lot? Not because I want to, because I have to. Acceptance is the only way.

Once upon a time, I was a human. And then I wasn’t. I was a soul. A soul with two options, accept my fate or pay for my sins. But it wasn’t as simple as that. To accept my fate I had to give up everything that was once human. It sounds dreary, but it’s not. It’s hell. It’s absolute hell (pun intended). The things you need to give up are not easy. They are a part of you. They are your very fabric. Things are torn from your very being before you can become a demon. It takes centuries (I’ve been told my restoration was one of the shorter ones). It can take millenniums.

I wrote this excerpt and risked even more eternal damnation to let you know. Being good means nothing. They decide. They divide the souls. You can kill a million people and it still won't matter. If you see the light three seconds before your death and save a single life, you might actually avoid my fate. I was a teacher for God sake! (Pun intended). All I have are puns now. And a demonic thirst to bring others down with me. I used to be one of you. Now you will be one of me.

Demons. We are them. And they were us.


Submitted: January 18, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Traz. All rights reserved.

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