A Heart

 I would dream that I could run away into the sunset one day. I prayed for my whole life for a love that would bring to the sky. 
When I would sing a song, I wanted to know that someone else heard the same song. My voice would carry them to me. 
A girl like me never had a chance like that. No one ever looked at me like I was the reason they would smile. There were a few moments that I thought it was possible, but I wasn't myself. I would mold myself into the versions of me people wanted to see. 
I learned that love is learned. We create love based on how other's examples have taught us. It's foolish to think that I would even know how to love someone in a good way one day. Like my version of love is something I only dreamed of but never felt I could live. 
Thus this girl just never got truly attached to anyone. I like to say I'm a runner. Whether things are good or bad, I always have one foot out the door. It took a lot of years to realize that running was never changing my life. It was setting me in a circle that I honestly just got too comfortable in. I forgot not only what I wanted, but my heart. My heart I treated it so severely, thinking that I would never really be loved. It's a painful truth to me that no matter how I see myself now. My dreams are no longer in my reach.