Chapter 1: Not a Shower, A Storm

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 94

Chapter One – Not a Shower, A storm

Lucas and I had arrived at my hell on earth, my ex's baby shower. I think I would have killed the taxi driver if it wasn't for Lucas and the speed of modern day cars. I could have missed my slot for a congratulations and a quick game of guess your Daddy! And that wasn't an option. I wasn’t there for the brightly coloured cake or the overpriced party bags, no. I was there to save someone later on from a broken heart and the heart breaking feeling of a child being ripped away from your arms.


I told Lucas my plans on the way here and now that he has pulled me aside, away from the party and away from my cheating, backstabbing, psychologically messed up ex, I don’t know if he going to encourage me or tell me to go home.
Lucas’ soft tone always comforted me, he never lost his cool, not with me. He spoke to me calmly “Dove, are you certain that you want to expose your ex-girlfriend for cheating on her current partner? I thought I was over her and ready but Lucas’ words were churning around my head like clothes in a tumble dryer. I grabbed a champagne flute, downed it and dropped it on the floor beside me. The plain echo of the glass against the wooden floor board was a sound I hadn’t heard in a while but this was a different sound, it had a drop of revenge. Sweet tangy revenge in it. I was excited.


I wrote her a letter, one I never sent. It was more for me, to release my bottled emotions, to correct the wrongs in my head. As the memories were saved in my head, like files on a computer, I had to do something to get rid of them. I wrote a letter, it explained everything, all my emotions my concerns and most of all my hatred of her, the newly founded despise I felt towards her. I brought it with me but I couldn’t decide whether to give it to her. I gave it to Lucas, my trustworthy and knight in shining armour type of brother, to give to my shallow ex.
My ex came over to tidy up the mess that I created, the perfect time for me to reconcile. I spoke aloud, “Hello, hope you are healthy and not feeling too nauseous? I wanted to let you know in person, I forgive you. Go to Lucas later on during the party, he has something to give you, from me.” She replied simply but calmly and in a hushed tone, “Thank your forgiveness means a lot.” She gave me a warm and almost comforting smile. 


She was trying, trying to forget all her memories, all of what used to be passionate feelings for one another. You see, this was the first time we saw each other after the breakup, exactly 8 months and 21 days. It was hard for me, to see she was moving on, and what seemed so quick too. She moved on quickly while I was left behind to pick up the pieces, of my shattered heart that fell to the floor and broke into a million pieces, after I read her note. She couldn’t bring herself to face me, face my wrath. That was all in past, or at least it was going to be as soon as Lucas gave her the letter. 
The letter read: 

 

Beatrix, 
I wrote you a letter, it seems ironic. Right? I mean, you broke up with me in a letter and now I’m writing how much I hated you in a letter. No wonder why we dated each other, we were the perfect match. That is besides point, by now, future me should have told you already that I forgive you but I wrote this when hated you. So here it is, the words you have been given warning to, I HATED you. Past tense. I used to hate you, I gave in to anger and rage, it was a pit of anger inside of me that I wasn’t going to burn in. Now I have been reformed, spiritually. I started taking classes that helped me read myself like a book and others. In fact, I bet I have already read you when I told you to collect the letter from someone close to me. Again, I’m getting off track. You made my world crumble but you also helped me rebuild my world, bigger and better and with more self-esteem. And for that I must allow myself to forgive you and hopefully put this awful experience in the past. What used to be our relationship, was loving and toxic. We pulled out each other’s worst sides, and for that again, I. thank you. I have since vanquished that side of me to the deep dark unknown side of me, the side that will never see the light of day. You can only control it not get rid of it, another thing I have learnt. The words I leave you with are by Gandhi, “Be the change you wish to see it the world”. He is truly inspirational. I will keep your baby daddy secret but I implore you, tell him, before someone else beats you to it. After reading burn it as so no one, not even your fiancé, can read it. This secret goes to my grave. This is a sign of my forgiveness. 
Sincerely from,
Dove xxx


Submitted: January 22, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Daisie. All rights reserved.

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