Smoky Case

Reads: 89  | Likes: 1  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 4

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

From my blog storiesstate.blogspot.com

I took my drink and went outside. I wanted to feel the breeze of the night. The house was feeling hot and I guessed resting outside was the best option. The moon did not shine bright which made me switch on my iPhone light. I was seated on the torn sofa there, sipping my Coca-Cola directly from the bottle and was listening happily to the music I was playing from my iPod device. I never knew my big bro as I usually call him, had woken up because of the noise I made while opening the door to go out. He had picked up a broken mop stick and was stealthily coming to me. I gulped down the last drink in the bottle and stretched my legs forward attempting to take a nap. The stupid mosquitoes made it impossible for the sleep to come. And so I switched off my iPhone light. Big Bro thought it was a thief as the sound I made assured him that someone was there. He looked through the window and saw 'a being' relaxed on the sofa. And my bro hardly calls anyone for help whenever there is a problem, so he didn't bother to call dad, he believed he could handle it alone. He opened the door silently, so as to not draw my attention. I didn't hear the door creak and so did not even notice his presence. He raised the stick high in the air, and suddenly I felt the urge to open my eyes. I saw the stick come straight at my face and I screamed. He kept flogging me because he couldn't see my face to know it was me.

I just woke up this morning and decided to share this experience with you all.


Submitted: January 22, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Excellent Theophilus. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Texasjane

Very interesting tale. I sure am glad we woke up before the final blow. Enjoyed reading it.

Sun, January 24th, 2021 9:15am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much. It's fiction though.

Sun, January 24th, 2021 2:35am

Texasjane

Where is the conclusion? What happened when he realized it was you? Were you hurt? Do you intend to continue the story? You got a great start.

Mon, March 15th, 2021 7:11am

Author
Reply

Yeah thanks for noticing that. I'll edit it when I think of it properly.
I'm glad you commented.
Thanks,
Theophilus.

Thu, March 18th, 2021 2:59am

Texasjane

I really like the intensity of this piece. Good storyline. You have a great imagination. I would like to see this in an expanded story. Good job.

Mon, March 15th, 2021 7:20am

Author
Reply

Thanks.
Later on, I probably would do a little more detailing. But I guess the brevity is okay for now
Thanks for reading,
Theophilus.

Thu, March 18th, 2021 2:15am

Burgerhicks80

Nice work. When you say "I just woke up" at the end is this stating that the was the story was a dream you had? Or is it just part of the story?

Sat, May 15th, 2021 1:26pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading. It was actually part of the story. I hope it wasn't confusing. Thanks again for reading.

Sun, May 16th, 2021 12:24am

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