Dealing with Stress

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Abandoned

We all have our ways of dealing with stress. Some people drink, others write, still others cut. There are as many ways of dealing with stress as there are people in the world this is the story of just one person and their way of dealing with it.

I was just cleaning up my desk and getting ready to leave when my phone buzzed with an internal call. I glanced at the id and saw it was my boss. I bite back a curse as I picked up the receiver. “I was just about to head out the door Mr. Jones.”

“My office now Sandy.”

I was so startled by him hanging up that I continue to hold the phone to my ear for another second before I hung up also. I hurried out of my office and down the hall to Phillip Jones office and knocked.

“Get in her Sandy.”

I open the door and the first thing I notice was Mr. Jones boss was standing beside him and then I saw Mr. Jones was holding the report I had submitted to him an hour ago. I stepped in and pushed the door close behind me as I felt my stomach tighten up into a little knot.

“What can I help you with, sir?”

“You can explain to me why you screwed the this report up so badly.”

“Is the numbers wrong, I got them straight from sales.”
“It isn’t the numbers, it is the lay out. I explained to you exactly how I wanted it and you did it your way instead. You are usually better than this so I’m not going hold it against you if you have it on my desk before I come in tomorrow morning. I wrote notes on this piece of crap as to how it should be changed.”

I bite my tongue and tried to keep from shaking as he blamed his mistake on me. I had followed his instructions to the letter even double checked the report lay out with him before spend four hours plugging the numbers in. I forced the happy employee smile I used with him onto my face.

“I’ll take care of it, I won’t leave tonight until I have it finished and on your desk.”

“Mark sure it is done correctly this time, Mr. Howard here will be reviewing.”

It all fell into place, Jones had tried to impress Howard, but the old man did not like change not at all. The changes to the format was Jones idea and when Howard showed his disapproval I got the blame. Now I would spend 5 hours at the office tonight fixing his mistake. I nearly slammed the door as Jones handed me the report and waved me out.

I reached my office as my hands began to shake. I tried to breath through it to calm down, but that did not help at all. I flopped down in my chair and dug my desk keys from my purse. My hand was shaking so bad I barely got the bottom drawer open.

I was only when my fingers touched the white plastic box with the red plus sign on it did they stop shaking. I pulled it out and opened it as I felt my breathing relax some. Opening it I saw what I knew was there, a small sharp pen knife, a dozen or so pins and a pack of double edged razor blades. Next to those were bandages and surgical tape, everything I needed once I was done.

I considered where to do it, the only real two choices at work were an arm or thigh. I had taken to wearing short sleeves so the arm was out. I stood up pulling my skirt up and pushing my panty hoses to my knees. Sitting back down I considered what to use. I reached for the pins, but I wanted something more. I look at pen knife but quickly got one of the razor blades from the package.

I look at my left thigh covered in pale white scars. Some were so faded I could barely see them others were still quite visible. My left thigh was still bandaged from the last time. I do not even feel the cut at first, just see the blood as it wells up and then the pain hits. It rolls through me forcing all that anger I was feeling down. I cut my thigh again and watch as the cuts start to bleed more. I move the razor against my leg a third time, but I was feeling better, more relaxed so I put it away.

I dab up the blood and quickly bandage my leg before getting dressed.

 

<(|)>


Submitted: January 24, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Gypsy Rose. All rights reserved.

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