False Blames, True Flames

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Look around you. The puddle of tears filled up to your ankles from the hurt you've endured just trying to be strong, and full of hope will soon evaporate into a cloud where an overcast of blessings will rain down upon you for the rest of this lifetime. I PROMISE EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT BELOVED.

I looked up to the sky as to ask for a sign that this was all just a terrible dream, and that you would somehow send a text saying that we were better than that. I held my tears in when we had our last conversation of you kicking me to the side to make way for someone else you had chosen to fulfill your desires I thought you wanted to explore with me for lifetimes to come. However, reality hit me that one morning as I sat out at 6am that morning feeling my chest getting tighter as I pressed my hand against it wishing I could still feel like you had my heart intact cherishing it as I did yours. My face full of tears as my mind raced to try to process a thousand false thoughts that I wasn't good enough for anyone. You watched me cry then smiled as you texted him to meet up later that night. I pondered around the question as to what could I have done better, but the truth was revealed after I thought the worst was there to stay. I was foolish for trying to live up to the expectations that never existed in the beginning. I wanted to love, but you wanted to lust over otherworldly desires. I wanted peace, but you brought me much of heartache after heartache. I kept my mouth shut to the darkness you showed me, yet you washed my name when we were together and even more after. I prayed for your abundance, but you prayed for me to fall a thousand times more to the devils that resembled you in many forms. I worked until my body shut down just to make sure you were just as comfortable as I ever wanted to be because I know what it's like to have nothing and be so grateful for even the smallest crumb, but you chose to not even lift a finger to help me in any way except just to scroll through social media outlets to entertain others.

 

I trusted everything you said, but I didn't pay attention to how you treated those you called your "friends". You talked behind their backs as i tried to help you see them from an optimistic point of view. Those people loved you for you, but you pushed them away for those that didn't care much for your wellbeing at all. You stole from there every chance you got, yet I tried to restore what was stolen by giving them my good joy and peace which you robbed them of with your sharp words and deceitful smiles. They loved their relationships dearly but hated the comparison because you didn't see yourself living up to their level of happiness. However, time and time again I told you comparison is the killer of all joy. If there were to be a change it would have to have started in you. You went behind friends' backs to sneak their lover's romance from underneath their noses. Temptation fell deep in those moments because you were persistent with taunting them time and time again after each "no" they voiced but only made you try a thousand more angles. Your friends which never once asked you of anything, but your time and good heart. However, you haven't either it gives as you approached them with your hands always out as to receive something but never give back. Many more actions taking place behind the scenes that I kept my mouth shut about, but I didn't make the connection that you would maybe one day do me as you did them. I prayed everything taken from them was restored and that you would just do better.

 

I soon began to realize I needed to pull back my energy. Something deep lied within me that I was blind to for that time I spent with you. I can only thank you for the pain and sorrow you caused me because those were crucial moments needed for my growth. I stopped looking to you for answers then started to look towards the stars where i noticed a higher calling for my existence. Praying is us talking to God, but intuition is God talking to us. I had to fully release you from my energy field in order to make room for the various blessings that were already set to replace the darkness. I closed my mouth in order to listen more to the lessons being taught, so I can teach others about the beautiful lights they hold dear within themselves. I was taught that there are many more people with hearts just s pure as mine that has been mistreated but to never stop spreading my love and positivity. The biggest blessing of all is being able to smile day in and day out even all the pain. It's as if the storm was necessary for me to be able to truly recognize and appreciate my own worth, and the beautiful value of others with pure hearts. If you have been hurt by those closest to your heart, don't assume you deserved it. You were being taught that you are one of the most favorable beings in the universe and that there is a plan for you that no one else can make happen for you. Continue to keep your faith and your peace because your past would want to come back in to take that from you as they did a thousand times before. Apologize to yourself, forgive yourself, and love yourself beloved! You are admired by many and hated by few. Love those who love you and love those who hate you because you are a born leader, and the abundance of blessings is destined for you so no one can take them from you anyway. I love you, you are such a beautiful light, so get out and show the world just how amazing you are beloved! You are truth, and the truth is love!


Submitted: January 24, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Eric2121. All rights reserved.

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