"Ballad Of A Vet: Chapter 2"

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


In addition, I'm far from a mathematician, me fighting in a war just didn't add up anymore. Me and my mind were totally divided with a broken core. I guess when I signed up, I should've stopped and deeply thought what I was asking for. On my last mission, I had no clue how fate would multiply or what it had in store. I wish I knew, so I could minus the price I paid on that tour and carry that over to a life changing detour!

Then like that I stepped on a mine, an explosion erupted, blood and gore, I'm not broken no more but tore. Into mass pieces, like art all over a wall and floor; a scene so ruthless, it compared to blood painted decor. At that moment, I thought my soul was going to pass on like a folklore.

Now I'm maimed and discharged, back home in a southern lined state, in a downed and drunken mind state. I can't stand on my own two legs, like a real man and urinate. My leg was taken by force, you know, confiscate. I hope you being the reader can see my story for what it is, you know, relate. Expressing myself to you is how I'm trying to rehabilitate. So continue on as I do the same, sit back as I  continue to paint this picture for you and verbally illustrate.


Submitted: January 26, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Myles_Harris. All rights reserved.

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Steven P. Pody

Well, I seem to be in the middle of a rap poem. The genre, as you know, relies on pinging out rhyme - usually accent on the second rhyming word of the set, momentum to keep the line of thought flowing, and a whole lotta energy. ...And the subject should be interesting. I think you qualify on all counts. 'Mathematician' is a heavy word to start out with, and a reader's thought is temporarily hijacked to assimilate its definition and poem-integrated meaning. However, as the following stanza with its math references would collapse without it, I guess you've painted yourself into a corner. A bit of a reach, but workable. You're happy with it, so what the heck. Overall, a fine and nicely shocking second part. Steve

Tue, January 26th, 2021 7:04pm

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Lol, you nailed it as far as what I was going for. A rap-esque rhythm and tone. Bouncing back and forth with build up. Like mental trauma. It's different and may not be for everyone. Very risky but I like to go out on the limb and see where I land. Yes very much so, without "Mathematician" the stanza wouldn't have weight and would fall terribly. Lol welp you write and you learn. Thats what I'm here for! Thank you so much Steven.

Tue, January 26th, 2021 11:18am

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