The Rest of the Cow Story

Reads: 52  | Likes: 3  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 3

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

This little tale is a "Take-off and coffee explanation to another story by Serge Wlodarski
So, before reading this story, you may want to read, "Coffee Cow" by Serge Wlodarski; it's a hoot!

I've got a thief in my neighborhood! A porch-thief that is taking some of the packages I've had delivered.

I'm a bit of a fanatic when it comes to certain foods and drinks, so I order them online and they are delivered to my front door. Well, --- they were being delivered until recently.


There are other strange things going on in the neighborhood, too.

I knew something wasn't quite right when I saw the cow grazing in my neighbor's yard. I mean, Really, a cow?

My other neighbor, the one who lives directly across the street, Jeb Mackenzie. He tried a goat lawn trimming service for awhile, but he had to cancel that because Mrs. Abernathy's garden was being attacked on a regular basis; the goat was the prime suspect because of piles of poop.

So Jeb gave up on the goat and had an artificial lawn installed. The lawn installation cost, up front, was a small fortune. But Jeb doesn't have to edge or mow the grass, not that Jeb does lawn work, so there was long term saving on a gardener.

There is no watering to be done so Jeb said that his water bill was cut in half during the next spring and summer.

And best of all, Jeb doesn't have to buy weed killers anymore; a big cost saving there.


Well, after the goat thing, I figured my next door neighbor was trying a goat approach to lawn upkeep, but using a cow instead.

Yet, I felt it was my duty as a good neighbor to tell him the ugly truth about cows and horses, and what that cow might do to his patch of tall Fescue. So I went over to his place to give him a heads-up.

As I approached I saw him Milking the Cow. "Ah, my neighbor has an alternative motive for the cow, free milk," I mumbled to myself.

But still, he should know that the cow would chew up his lawn, leaving patches of nothing but dirt, anyway, that is what I reasoned.

So I kept walking.

When my neighbor saw me coming he immediately took the hand-towel from his shoulder and covered the bucket that contained the fresh milk.

"How are you doing, neighbor?" I asked with a smile on my face.

This was the first time I had ever said much to this guy, after all, a smile and a wave had worked out well until now.

All the time that I was explaining about the cow and the grass, my neighbor kept looking at the milking pale and trying to keep himself between it and me; it was very strange behavior.

He did invite me in for coffee, but I had to decline. It's like I said before, I'm a very picky consumer of such things, and I only drink the best.


When I returned home I was surprised to see a package had arrived. But I was in need of the restroom, and when I am in need at my age, well, I must get it done, now; the package could wait.

When I returned, I found the package gone, so I rushed out the front door to see what I could see.

And what I saw was the hind-end of the cow and she was making her way around the corner of my house, heading towards the garden's shed. And sure enough, as she rounded the corner I could see my package firmly gripped in her teeth.

"Stop, you Jersey-maid Artful Dodger," I scolded as I took off after the somewhat fast moving thief.

And when I finally caught up to that Bovine, she had broken open my UPS delivered package of "Kopi Luwak" coffee beans, and was happily munching away.

Can you imagine, my Kopi Luwak coffee beans, at $300 a pound, being eaten by this thieving heifer?!?

It was just about then that my cow adopting neighbor came walking up. He took one look at what the cow was eating and you know what he said, he said, "Well no wonder her milk tastes like coffee," and then he laughed.

Can you imagine, he laughed?!?

But I'm gonna get the last laugh, I tied the cow to my garden shed. She's mine for the milking, at least until her milk turns white again, then I'll let her loose.



D. Thurmond / JEF



Submitted: January 30, 2021

© Copyright 2021 D. Thurmond aka JEF. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


88 fingers


Sat, January 30th, 2021 11:12pm


So happy you enjoyed them.

Sat, January 30th, 2021 3:39pm

Serge Wlodarski

Hmmm. Maybe I'll train Petunia to steal packages from my neighbors.

Sun, January 31st, 2021 12:34pm


LOL! --- Hmm, I don't know (?). I doubt that any packages from "CHEWY" or "PetSmart" is not going to have the desired affect on Petunia. --- Yuck, Kibbles in your coffee...

Sun, January 31st, 2021 8:35am

Criss Sole

Ha! This was a delight to read. Serge just told me about this story. I loved reading his yesterday and i definitely enjoyed this one.
That cow is somethin else!

Sun, January 31st, 2021 12:52pm


Thanks Criss, I'm happy to know you liked it; smiles are good. --- Some cows Moo, but this one Moo-ved me to tell her story. LOL --- Hope you have a good day.

Sun, January 31st, 2021 8:25am

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