Regret and Happiness

Reads: 97  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

The story is partially true and then goes into fictional romantic.

 2020 IJohal


This is a true story which happened when I was younger a few years after I finished my degree, I was still a little immature and still living out my student days, a time in my life when I was single, and on a night out I unexpectedly meet a girl, which starts off well but does not end well. The story ends with a fictional ‘what if’ scenario. Explaining what I would have hoped and wished for the main character, something she truly deserved. I had a lot of time to think during my rehab from my leg operation, and had felt so much regret for many years over this memory so that is why I wrote this story.


1st Night

Feb 2000 - Me and Terry had gone for a drink at Pitcher and Piano near Liverpool Street station, we were at the bar when 2 girls came over one was tall, the other petite and pretty. They were both giggling and excited, the petite one said ‘Hi just wanted to ask you a question is that okay’ we both said that’s fine go ahead, she continued looking at me she said ‘Are you single, are you Sikh, are you jatt’ to which I replied yes, (Sikh is my religion and Jatt is a caste we have a caste system within Sikhism but nowadays it is not that important, I am Jatt which is said to be one of the higher castes) first I thought it was a setup or joke. But the taller girl said ‘we are not messing around our friend over there her names Satty is also single, Sikh and jatt’ I could see the girls had accomplished part 1 of their task as I was a match. They both pointed out through the crowd towards where Satty was standing, but I could just see part of her face as the bar was quite packed, like it always was on a Friday night. I leaned down to the petite girl speaking loudly, I said, ‘we’ll come over after we get our drinks!’ Terry said ‘what the hell just happened? What was all that about! you think there messing around’ I replied, ‘I think it’s legit as they were waiting around for us to come over’ I ordered 2 Peroni’s then we walked over to the area where the girls were. I saw Satty she was very good looking and I think we both knew there was something there, I mean choosing me out of the whole of the bar she must of seen something in me right! (not being big headed but I don’t think I looked too bad in those days) We introduced ourselves and shook hands, Terry and Satty’s friends also started to chat amongst themselves, they were glancing over at me and Satty, like scientist’s watching two animals in a lab (that’s how I felt, a bit overwhelmed), straight away we seem to get along very well. We chatted for ages and had loads in common. I was very surprised and thought this is a bit strange, but it was all real and happening.

We all decided to go to get something to eat, there was a place on Middlesex Street, a south Indian restaurant, it was a short walk from the bar 200 yards once we were outside the petite girl called her husband to pick her up after we had eaten and the tall one was also going with her. Once inside the restaurant Terry pointed to the chair opposite Satty, kind of pushing me towards, saying something like ‘you two lovebirds sit there!’ we were chatting away it was nice, during the meal we swapped numbers, while we were sitting and chatting at some point during the evening I leaned forward and stroked her hand. Terry was just joking around with the other 2 girls, the petite one said something funny about the best thing being married is that when she is in bed with her husband she likes her his belly as it’s like a comfy pillow on her back and compared it to a big cuddly bear. We finished our food and went outside, Satty said bye and started to walk, she was tired and just wanted to go home, while the rest of us chatted, Satty said ‘I’ll walk and catch the next bus home’ I replied, ‘goodnight and I will text or call you’ The petite and tall girl were being picked up. Me and Terry also made our way home, it had been a weird night, very different to what we were normally used to for sure.

The following Monday I called Satty and asked if she wanted to go for a drink, but she had already got on a bus to her flat in Hackney Wick, she said ‘she wanted to get back home and go to the gym’ I texted on the Wednesday and Satty had just got on the bus again, I felt she may not be interested but why would she answer my phone call and explain to me what she was doing. I rang the next day and we arranged to meet up for a date in Covent Garden on Saturday. I decided to get a haircut on Saturday, I texted Satty to see what she was up to, she had also gone to have a haircut, but from Oxford Street, I thought wow she’s making an effort


The Date

I was a little nervous as you are on first dates, I got to Covent Garden first just after 6pm. Satty got there around 6.25pm. She had gone to Leicester Sq. and walked back to Covent Garden. I waited but I did think is she going to turn up, but that was just nerves. When Satty arrived, she looked stunning very bright faced, with a nice long coat and strappy rucksack, we hugged. I could not actually believe how good she looked she was glowing. We walked to Bar 38 towards Leicester Sq., we chatted and had a drink I pulled out a ciggie, but Satty said can I have one too, I said you sure, she said ‘see you don’t like it do you, if a Indian girl smokes , so you shouldn’t either’, so I didn’t. Satty told me about a relationship she had with a white guy and she had done the clubbing scene and tried drugs etc. I was surprised this kind of opened my mind a bit as I didn’t think a Sikh girl from Wolverhampton working in London would have this kind of background, I don’t know maybe I been locked in a cupboard or something for too long, I should know this as I had been at University and seen what girls get up to but for some reason didn’t expect this of Satty, maybe she looked very innocent. The bar was closing so we decided to go to a club I think it was called Monroe’s. It was very loud so we went upstairs we had given our coats into the cloakrooms. We chatted and Satty wanted to go to the loo, as all men do, I took a glance at her rear, it was very shapely. After she came back, we found the club was a bit boring as dance music was being played and was not really our scene. We walked around and ended up in Chinatown I think we went into a Chinese but it was closing so Satty found one which was open. We ate and I decided and wanted to pop out for a ciggie, but Satty convinced me I didn’t need it, and said just sit down it was quite funny, at that point I thought she’s right I don’t even need to smoke why am I doing it. We finished our food and walked around until we found a cab, I said I would drop her off I think Satty wanted a separate cab but insisted we go in the same one. For some bizarre reason I sat in the front, not sure why. Satty must have thought I was not interested. We got to her flat and I said bye and Satty just walked out of the cab, while she was walking, I thought shall I say bye properly and hug her, but didn’t move what an ass. Once she got thru the front door the cabby took me home.

The next day I had a great chat with Satty we laughed about me not saying bye to her properly and sitting in the front of the cab (what a dick, did I think I was a tour guide or something) Satty told me she had a break in not long ago in her block and they had chucked a radio into her communal garden, so it made sense why she wanted to get home after work, my sister had my lunch ready on the table and 15mins later I was still on the phone to Satty. So, my sis says the fucking food is on the table it’s going to get cold, Satty said ‘You better have your lunch lol, is that your sister?’ I said ‘yes she’s a bit crazy’

I wish I had gone to have tea or something that day maybe things may have turned out differently.


During the following week we texted each other nearly every day. On Friday I thought it would be a good idea to send some flowers to Satty work, as the following Monday it was Valentine’s Day.


The Regretful Night.

That night me and my cousin Harry went for a drink, I told him about Satty he asked if she is out now I said I think she is so I went outside and rang her, she said she was at a leaving party for someone from her team, I asked where she was, but I don’t think Satty wanted me to come as she said she did look too good, I said ‘its fine don’t worry about it I want to see you’ Satty said ‘ok it’s up to you, come over and gave me the directions’ the bar was in Bank. We finished our drinks I think we had 2 pints and started to walk over to the bar. We took a wrong turning and were a bit lost, so I called Satty and she came down to the street eventually and guided us to the bar. The had 2 floors a ground and basement bar, after introducing my cousin I asked how she was and all was good, she said they were downstairs and come down when we are ready. Harry did not want to go down just yet so we had a few pints first. Harry went to the toilet and when he came back he said ‘All her mates are white and it’s a bit lively down there, you might as well leave her to it and go home’ (first hint should of left and gone home with Harry) I said ‘ Nah its fine let me chat to her and then I’ll go home’ Harry went home and I went downstairs. Just by the stairs were 2 spare stools so I sat on one I saw Satty chatting to her mates so left her to it, once she noticed me she came over and we messed about and chatted, I noticed she had a long skirt on and made a remark about Indian girl’s legs having coarse hair, but Satty said her legs were smooth she proved it by lifting up her skirt and showing me her legs she had tights on, they were toned. I said ‘ You must go gym your legs are really toned’ Satty said ‘Yes I try my best’ I also said she looked nice even though she did not have any make up on and had her hair up in a bun. I think she accepted my compliment, we smiled while looking at each other must have been a few seconds. At this point a girl turns up and says hi its Indy right, it was a girl from my University course, Sandeep another strange coincidence, she asked what I was up to and I asked her the same she was working for a Bank, Sandeep said ‘ I need to go it’s been nice chatting to you both and shook our hands, gesturing to Satty she said I leave with your boyfriend, at which point Satty said ‘He isn’t my boyfriend’ with a smile on her face. Maybe we were not going out as we had only been out on one date. I needed to go toilet so I went and took my pint with me, the toilets were on the same floor by another staircase, I came out of the toilets but could not get to where we were sitting as there was group of people in the way, so I thought I go upstairs and come back down via the other staircase. I got to the top of the stairs walked thru the bar, it was quite empty as it was late. I walked past a group of people and I looked over my shoulder, there was 2 guys chatting with each other and this girl looking away from them, she looked directly at me, I thought nothing of it and walked a few more steps, then I looked again and she was still looking at me, she smiled and asked me to come over, before I knew it within second’s the girl pulled me towards her and started to kiss me, I pulled away and looked to my left, Satty had just come up the stairs with her coat in her arms, she said ‘So that’s where you!!’ (I wish I had not even looked at this girl) I just stood there frozen, I didn’t even go after Satty, instead the girl pulled me away and said I had messed it up now and took me outside, it was late so we walked a bit and got a cab, the girl lived over the river I started to call Satty and left a few voice messages, I was panicking and swore at the girl saying it was her fault, In a rage I told the cabby to stop the car and told the girl to get out, she said no I don’t have any money, I said ‘ I don’t care you’ve fucked it all up, now get out you stupid bitch!’ After she got out I called and left Satty some more voice messages and texts but realised I had really fucked up this time.

The next day I really tried to call Satty to sort out the mess, but obviously she did not want to know I didn’t blame her. Monday, I went work forgetting about the flowers I had sent for Valentine’s Day how awkward!! I called Satty work pretending to be someone she had told me about, Peter. She answered and commented that it was bit cheeky I used Peter, she then said why did you send the flowers, I said they had been shipped already from last Friday, Satty asked me to call her after work when she is at home and we can have a chat. I had received an email from Satty which said I had no dignity; shame and it was selfish thing to do.

Once I did chat with Satty I did try and explain what happened, but I could feel I had done the damage from Satty’s voice, she really wanted this to work and so did I, but something that normally would never happen to me on any night and had not throughout my University years, somehow happened you just couldn’t make it up. I understood that it was shameful, just throwing away the beginnings of a relationship just in a few stupid seconds, I tried to make an excuse by saying to Satty that she had said I was not her boyfriend, but that was just clutching at straws, I wish I had just gone outside and had a ciggie like I was going to, ignored the girl and my life may have been very different. I don’t know and will never know which direction my life may have gone in, I know one thing I have been regretful ever since, especially how I hurt her feelings, nobody should be treated like that. I think sometimes I may not have tried enough to convince Satty that it was a big mistake, but I accepted what Satty had decided, there wasn’t much more to say really, we finished the conversation and the last thing Satty said was bye have a good life.


For a while I didn’t go out anywhere needed to get my head straight, I told Harry what happened but he said she wasn’t that nice looking and was hanging around with white guys and wouldn’t have worked out, I thought to myself what is the big deal with mixing with white people, I had no issues as I feel I am content with people from many different backgrounds, I experienced this during my university years. Anyway no one really knew what to say to me as they didn’t know how I felt or what I had been through, I thought I wish I had visited Satty at her flat one day after work and had tea or something or took her out somewhere, things may have turned out differently. A week later I met Terry and we went back to the same bar in Bank. Coincidentally the tall girl was there, what are the chances of that I thought, so we sat down and chatted she said ’You been a naughty boy, you really messed up! Satty really liked you, I mean really, really liked you, she left her white boyfriend for you, do you want me to say anything to her’ I said ‘I have already chatted to Satty and tried to tell her my side of the story, not sure what else I can do’ The tall girl said ’If you want to get back with her let me know and I will try my best to sort things out, if I can, but Satty is so down and she is very stubborn’ I said ‘Yes of course try and sort it out that would be great’ tall girl looked at me and said ‘you don’t seem too bothered or down about it’ I said ‘Well I’m a bit embarrassed seeing you here and talking about it again, as I also liked Satty and regret the whole situation’  The tall girl said ‘ You make such a nice couple’ The tall girl was with her work mates and got up and went and sat with them, me and Terry left and went to another bar for a drink. I never heard back from the tall girl or Satty ever again.


My background

Recently I have had a lot of time to myself, in October 2019 I had major surgery on my leg, this was ongoing after I initially had multiple fractures in my lower tibia and fibula in March 2016, this happened because I was trying to clear the gutters, and stupidly had the ladder on the garage roof and was climbing up to the main roof, at the time I felt I was healthy and strong so if did fall, I had prepared some small steps strategically placed, but this wasn’t the case as I reached the main roof I was about to climb on when the ladder slipped beneath me, I had nothing to hold onto and landed on the garage roof on my left shoulder, I fell around 7 foot, unfortunately after I came round my right ankle had smashed onto the ladder, which was already lying on the garage roof. I waited for an ambulance for more than one hour, when they did arrive the whole neighbourhood were out as we lived in a close, we knew almost everyone. Two Rapid response units arrived, a paramedic had to climb out of the bathroom window to get on the garage roof, while on the roof I was administered with a large dose of morphine my leg was temporarily placed in a splint, the paramedic told me it will hurt and to swear at his colleague if I was going to shout out, and yes the pain was immense as the whole road heard.  That night I was taken to Queens hospital, after a few doctors and surgeons reviewed my case, they told me I had broken my ankle bone into several small pieces, I had surgery the next day and a temporary metal frame was put in place to keep the bones together, 4 days later after more surgery a more permanent frame was put in place. The frame stayed on my leg for 8 months, it was very tough on my home and work life, especially my wife my close family helped out when they could, after the frame came off I realised the ankle was deformed, the consultants at Queens Hospital, Romford did not seem to know how to fix it, it took me 2 more years until I had a third opinion, a top consultant in the field was recommended to me he was based at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital in London.

So after yet more appointments, x-rays and scans, I had my operation in October 2019 to align and sort out my lower leg, to correct many issues caused after the 1st operation, the fibula was not in the correct position, the tibia had a non-union as the crack in the bone had not joined, thus causing the bone to push out, there was a loose bone fragment rolling around next to my ankle. After surgery that lasted more than 5 hours, I was so glad to see that what the consultant had promised came to fruition, he had done a great job leaving my ankle joint free thus not placing any pins through my foot to stabilise the Taylor spatial frame, something my consultant could not guarantee until he got in there to take a look, it seems like my ankle bone was dense and strong enough to hold the frame and metal pins.

I was in hospital for 6 days and then came home and was bed ridden literally for 5 months, so was not working just resting at home, I had a lot of time to think and reflect on my life as I was at home on my own most of the day. I thought deeply about the time when I met Satty and felt a great deal of regret, guilt and shame, I also thought about the time immediately after the regretful night, at the time I was 26 years old, my life was all about going out and being selfish, I got married 5 years later. Albeit after 2 failed cultural engagements, I must have 9 lives as I was so lucky to find someone so understanding and patient, amongst her many other qualities, thinking back carefully looking through my life year by year especially after meeting Satty. My behaviour towards life changed and it was all due to the shame and regret this affected me psychologically and I never realised, I used to go out regularly mixing with the wrong crowd, not listening to anyone. But meeting my wife made me change my ways, she tamed me which I believe is fate as my late auntie mentioned around the same time. Having thought about those years it suddenly all made sense the drinking, coming back late or staying out not telling my parents where I was, causing my parents grief at the time. Around that time after my university days, me and my best friend from university Terry were in the same boat, single and carefree, going out nearly every day to bars, clubs, we were regulars at Oxygen bar in Leicester Square, we would spend our monthly salary in 2-3 weeks, and would rely on our overdraft’s or borrow from each other and friends, to get through to the end of the next month..

So while at home and recovering from my leg operation, during the first few weeks when I had excruciating pain, I had to take morphine regularly, this gave me a sense of euphoria, my mind was away and I had a sense of floating so calm and relaxed, it made me talk my mind, so not having much control of what I was saying, I told my wife everything about what happened with Satty, I had never told her the story thinking it would cause a rift in our relationship, my wife wasn’t surprised as she knows what I am like as trouble normally follows me around and I get myself into these situations, she understood that on that occasion I was maybe not to blame, I even told her I used to smoke this was also not a shock as she kind of knew, my wife didn’t really think anything of it, as we know each other inside out and been married for 15 years.


What if. Fate

The route I have taken in life to get to where I am now has been great, I have been very lucky, but what if I did get back with Satty I wonder where that route would have taken me in life. Going back to the last phone conversation I had with Satty, what if I really grovelled, what if I really gave it everything to save what we had and told her what I really felt about her, something I now believe she deserved.

So once I had the courage to call Satty I rehearsed in my head what I wanted to say, I asked myself is it worth it, am I kidding myself, but I thought about how we were when we were together the conversations we had were effortless, I caught her a few times looking at me it wasn’t just a quick glance either, she would then just smile afterwards, she was attracted to me as much as I was attracted to her, I loved the way she carried herself too, you can call it her swag. I had just got home from work it was a Thursday and I knew today was the day, so before I could get in the shower Satty texted me to say she was ready for a chat. Being slightly nervous for the first time, I was a bit nervous, I dialled her number, it rang and she picked it up after a few seconds of silence I said, ‘hi how’s it going?’ Satty replied ‘yeah good had a shit day at work’ not beating around the bush I cut right to it, ‘I’m such an idiot I seriously never seen the girl before and wished I had just ignored her’ Satty said ‘okay I don’t understand what went through your head’ she added ‘I really couldn’t believe what I was seeing, as its never happened to me before, and afterwards I felt like a crap, you really put me down after everything we had talked about, I lost all interest and respect for you, it went around in my head why and what the hell happened!’ I said ‘ I do get it now after thinking about it, if it was anyone else I would not have called back, but I really think we have something as I said before this has never happened to me and maybe somehow this can make us stronger’ Satty said ‘Us!!’ I replied ‘well yes I really really like you and it was a very stupid mistake but I am not that type of person I am loyal and have respect for people, and it hurt me for the first time in my life it made me sit up and look in the mirror and think what are you doing’ she replied’ wow Indy I never knew you felt that way about me’ I replied ‘I know we have something special, I mean there’s got to be something in it the way we met, it was fate, how many single, jatt guys are around and also the right age’ Satty gave back a kind of cheery ‘yeah right you think you’re the only one I am seeing’ I replied ‘yes I believe I am, but I wouldn’t blame you if you went back to your ex’. I waited a few seconds and went for the kill, ‘please give me a chance let’s see how the relationship goes and if it doesn’t work out we walk away, I think the relationship at least deserves that’, after a short pause, Satty replied ’okay’

I added ’also I think it’s better if we meet face to face this phone business doesn’t do anyone justice’. Satty then said what you up to this evening, to which I replied nothing. Satty said ‘you want to meet up later say 7.30?’ I said ‘yeah okay where shall we meet, I can come to Liverpool Street’ she replied ‘I meet you at the Pitcher and Piano Bishopsgate’ with a big smile on my face I replied ‘o where we met first okay I see you there 7.30’ Before putting the phone down Satty said ‘I’ll leave in 10mins then, see you there’.

I sat for a bit just staring thinking what just happened o my god, shit she wants to meet up. I panicked a bit thinking what shall I wear I better have a quick wash, I was already sweaty from work and had got even more while chatting to Satty on the phone and getting all nervous about seeing Satty. I quickly had a wash, put on a t-shirt and jeans. My sister was downstairs I said I was going out and just closed the front the door and ran to the station. It only takes about 20mins to Liverpool Street from Seven Kings, as I was sat in my train I was so happy but I still thought she might bring someone with her or what if she has asked someone to beat me up, my mind was going haywire but I calmed down by the time I got to Stratford, right only 7 minutes to go. It felt like a first date, what would I do smile or keep a straight face, keep a straight face I said to myself, do not be a dick, I will let her take control. The tanoy sounded ‘we are now approaching Liverpool Street, please take your belongings with you’ Oh my god I was so nervous, I told myself just calm down its fine just breath, I walked down the platform, through the turnstiles and up the escalator, I didn’t think I would be coming back to where I work as soon as I was. I crossed the road just opposite the Pitcher and Piano, as I got outside, I waited and wondered ‘shall I text her’ but decided to wait 5mins. I kept looking at any girl going past that may be her, as I could not picture her. After about 5mins I looked at my phone and Satty had texted me, she was inside. As I walked in, I heard Indy! Satty was sat by the window in the comfy seats, I walked over and  said  ‘ hi you alright did you just get her’ Satty replied  ‘ I got here about 5mins ago, I just popped to the loo and saw you were waiting outside’ I wasn’t sure where to sit so just sat down a little sheepishly and I was pretty close to Satty, I think she could feel I was nervous, I was definitely not my normal self, I said bobbing my head back and forward slightly  ‘ okay so what do you want to drink? Satty replied ‘I’ll have a vodka and coke’, you sure you don’t want me to get it’ she added, standing up I said ‘no, no I get it’ I felt really stiff and my shoulders were high I was sure getting a drink would clam me down, It was quite tense chatting to Satty.

Once I got to the bar I asked for a vodka and coke and a pint of stella. It was busy as it was a Thursday night, which is like a Friday in the City. Anyway, I got the drinks and took them over to the table. I sat down placing the drinks on the table in front of us, Satty turned and we both looked at each other, our eyes were glued to each other, it seemed like for eternity, I knew then everything was going to be okay. We both had a few sips from our drinks, Satty said ‘I can see from your face your very upset and I think you were right it is good to see each other in person, have you been crying’ I said ‘no just really nervous, I was thinking all sorts of things before I got here on the train, I thought you wouldn’t turn up or maybe have someone beat me up’ Satty laughed ‘that’s so funny beat you up! We both had a giggle. Then I just came out with it and said ‘I am so sorry I really am I do seriously believe we have something very strong here, I mean look at how we met here in this bar, that’s not normal its fate! Facing Satty I said ‘I really like you and I think you like me too’ She said with a wry smile ‘do I? in your dreams maybe’ I replied ‘you do cos I saw your friend she told me’ Satty replied ‘she’s so silly don’t listen to her’ But I could see she didn’t mean it why else would she have turned up. I said ‘let’s give whatever we have a chance I think it deserves’ with this Satty looked at me and said ‘wow you have really thought deeply about this a lot, haven’t you? I replied ‘yeah I have, I haven’t thought about anything else in the last few days’ Satty said ‘Neither have I but was so angry and pissed off with you I just couldn’t believe it, it just seemed too good to be true, I had left my ex for this I thought to myself, why!! I had bad impression about asian guys and this just proved it, but now that we have had a chat I must admit I can see it wasn’t something you would do, I have had a few days to think about it all too, and yes I did chat to my mates’ With that Satty looked at me and smiled, that smile gave me the most best feeling I had ever had, a sense of relief went through my body, I instantly felt calm. She asked if I wanted a another drink, I said ‘I will get it, its fine’ but Satty had got up already ‘same again’ I said ‘no get me whatever you get’ Satty went over to the bar, I noticed she had tight jeans and a t-shirt on that was actually the first time I had looked at her body, as in the previous times I had met her it had been dark and I had not actually looked at her in that way, I thought in my head she is very curvy all in proportion, you could tell she went to the gym and worked out. While Satty was at the bar she glanced over at me and smiled, I‘m sure she caught me admiring her figure from afar, in my eyes she was stunning I knew then I was attracted to her and so happy I had convinced her.

When Satty got back to the table she had got me a vodka and coke too, as she sat down I could see we had now relaxed a bit, ‘Is that ok’ Satty said pointing at the drinks. I said, ‘yeah I don’t mind vodka and coke’. She took a sip and so did I.  It tasted a bit strong I asked ‘is that double’ She giggled and said yes, this gave me the idea she felt comfortable with me and could trust me, she asked me about the first date we had and what I thought of her, I said ‘ I was shocked when I saw you even though I was a little pissed off you were late, but you looked stunning very fresh faced that is what I was thinking’ she replied ‘O my god you never told me that! you did look moody, so I was a bit quiet’ I said ‘ I soon forgot about waiting their and thought wow you had really made an effort, but I hadn’t’ Satty replied ‘ no way you looked fine with your black shirt and jeans’ We had another few sips of our drinks and kind of cuddled together as the bar was getting full and we could hear each other, it was really nice. I said, ‘I remember you kept pushing your face up to me and you did it a few times, why was that?’ Satty laughed and replied, ‘It was me being nervous kind of, I do that when I am excited but I don’t realise ’ I said ‘I thought you wanted to kiss me!’ Satty kind of made bubbles in her drink and said ‘I wasn’t I promise it was just me being nervous, a reaction I suppose to being with someone I was relaxed with and trusted’ She then added ‘would you have kissed me? I looked at her with my head tilted downwards, and we both paused and moved towards each other and kissed each other on the lips, we then both stared at each other which seemed like ages, and kissed again this time a bit harder and stronger, until some girls near our table made some noise. It was so nice it felt right and it was something I wished I had done on the few occasions we had met up before. I told Satty I wish I had kissed her earlier as well she actually agreed and said at the bar when I was messing around with her looking at her legs she thought she might of enticed me into doing something, but that ended up as a big mess. I was glad she had got over that night and could talk about it. We were open with each other a lot about what had happened. I confessed that while she went to the loo at the club on our first date I did take a peek at her bum, she said she had done the same on a few occasions on that night too, which was nice to hear. We decided to have another drink somewhere a bit quiet and moved to a bar closer to Satty flat. It was a pub closer to Hackney which was virtually empty we walked about 15mins holding hands, something I would never envisage before I had left the house that day. I got a another vodka and coke and we sat in the corner of the pub, it was so cosy while sipping our drinks Satty put her arm in mine and held it tight, we had a few sips and I asked Satty if she was okay and not tired. She replied ‘I am a little and if you want to walk me back to my flat it’s not too far’ with that we finished our drinks and had another kiss, it was the type I hadn’t experienced before it was much more deeper and closer we held each other more closer and stronger, as we walked to her flat Satty asked me if I would like to have a drink back at her flat, as it wasn’t even 10 o’clock yet, so I said ‘yeah I don’t mind, are you sure? Satty stopped walking and said ‘of course I am, I would love you to come back I hate going back on my own anyway’ We were soon outside Satty flat and I noticed the spot where the taxi the week before had dropped her off, I said ‘I really wished I had said bye properly that night, rather than just let you get out the car and walk in yourself! Satty said opening her front door ‘Its fine you made up for it today’ We walked in to her flat it was so nice all open plan, nice kitchen, and dining area with nice big TV. Nice comfy sofa’s too, Satty told me off for wearing my shoes which I promptly took off by the front door.


Back at the Flat.

I sat myself down on the comfy sofa I said ‘I like your flat very cosy and this sofa is really nice’ Satty shouted from the kitchen ‘you like them I finally got them delivered last week’ ‘Actually can you come over here and open this bottle, you like red right?’ I looked at her and said, ‘I love red!’ I found the bottle opener and started to open the wine, I had got the cork screw in and was pulling it Satty said ‘you okay their you need a hand’ I replied ‘No its fine’ I yanked at it, but with the cork came the wine and it went all over my shirt and part of her kitchen units, which were a nice cream colour, we stood there and looked at each other and started to laugh I said ‘O shit!! Look at me I’m so sorry’ Satty replied holding a cloth ‘its fine you saved most of the bottle’ We had a good laugh and then Satty asked me to change my shirt, I said ‘No its fine it will dry’ But Satty insisted ‘Take it off and I will wash it and dry it you can’t wear it like that’ I replied ‘What now!’ She said ‘Yes, can put the washer dryer on fast spin, just get another one from my cupboard’ I was a little embarrassed standing their topless Satty kind of grabbed my arm and ushered me to her bedroom and pointed to my cupboard She said giggling ‘pick any shirt sweetheart, but then came back and said but not that one or that one any of the others are fine’ I stood there for a bit and Satty went back to the kitchen area to clean up the mess, I took out a shirt but it was too tight, I tried one on and it was showing my belly. I shouted out ‘Don’t you have any larger sizes’ Satty said ‘Hang on’ She came to the bedroom and said ‘Take a this one’ It was a pinkish top very baggy, I put it on and looked in the mirror, I looked at her and looked back at the mirror. Satty just laughed and said ‘You’re so funny the look on your face after you spilled the wine’ I said ‘I can’t wear this look at me’ the pinkish shirt was big but baggy on the arms, Satty replied ‘I’m sorry sir there’s nothing else in this shop’ She turned around and walked off.

I stood there for a bit and thought it is only for a short time until I get my own one back, I just thought go back and enjoy the night. I walked back to the dining area and sat down, Satty looked at me and said ‘You look lovely, your shirt be done soon, here just have a drink’ Satty sat up on the sofa with her legs out, she put them on my lap, ‘is that alright’ she said I replied ‘Yeh yeh fine’ Satty had her shoes off and had sports socks on, we chinked our glasses and took a sip, Satty asked ‘How is that?’ I said ‘Really nice, very smooth’ I asked about her flat ‘So did you decorate this yourself’ Satty replied pointing at the ceilings and walls ‘Most of it, I got someone to paint it I chose the colours, do you like it?’ I replied ‘Yeh really modern and the furniture is nice too it all goes well together, the kitchens nice too without the wine on the floor’ She looked at me and said ‘That’s fine what’s a few drops of wine between mates’ With that I had a another sip of my wine and with my right hand squeezed her foot to say thanks, Satty replied ‘Ah that felt so nice my feet have been hurting all day, do you mind giving them a squeeze again?’ I replied covering her foot with my hand and squeezing ‘What like this?’ Satty with her head back a little said ‘Yes just like that’ I put my glass down on the table in front and carried on massaging her foot, I started to also massage the other one. Satty reached out and said, ‘that’s so nice you been having lessons?’ I said ‘No I just got strong hands’ I then asked if I could take her pop socks off, she replied ‘yeah take my socks off, don’t worry my feet don’t smell I had a shower before I come out and moisturised them’ I looked at her and she looked really relaxed, while I peeled off her socks I said ‘Do you paint your toes?’ Satty said ‘Yes but I bet you can’t guess what colour’ While stopping me from taking her socks off. I said, ‘dark blackcurrant colour’ She said, ‘No your wrong look’ She reached forwards and pulled them off and said, ‘it’s red!!’ I had not told Satty I admired women’s feet. Her feet were perfect, I said ‘Wow they are lovely’ Satty replied ‘O thank you, I try and take care of them’ I replied ‘I can see that’, and gave them another squeeze. I started to squeeze her ankles and her calf, her jeans were tight just above her ankles, I put my hand up her legs and felt her skin they were so smooth. I said ‘your legs are smooth’ Satty said ‘I told you they were, last time remember at the bar’ I looked at her and said ‘yeah I’m so sorry, what happened that night’ she replied ‘it’s fine let’s forget that now, look come her’ She pulled herself up so she was closer to me stroking her fingers gently down the side of face, I reached forwards slightly and we kissed, I pulled away as Satty still had her wine in her hand, I said ‘let me put that on the table before I get it on your shirt’ pointing at the shirt I was wearing. We pulled together even more and kissed and embraced, nestling our heads into the nooks of our necks. I had my hand on her leg caressing and lightly squeezing it, her jean material on her leg felt so soft. We pulled away and I handed Satty her wine glass. We lightly did a cheers, and had a few more sips, we were a little tipsy now, Satty slipped her feet under my thighs, she looked at me and said ‘you are so nice, I’m so glad we made up and you’re here’ she stared at me and I replied ‘I’m so glad too, I really really like you’ Satty said ‘aww so cute’ and she squeezed my cheek ‘do you want anything to eat are you hungry? I asked ‘what do you have? Satty replied ‘here hold this let me go and see’ Satty shouted from the kitchen area ‘chicken nuggets? Before I could say anything she said ‘oo pizza, pizza, pizza’ I said ‘yeh pizza be good’ Satty put the pizza in the oven and came back to the sofa, she picked up the wine bottle and said ‘that’s nearly empty’, and poured the rest in my glass she added ‘I’ll get another bottle while we wait for the pizza’ I said ‘yeah cool’ Satty shouted from the kitchen ‘it’s not cork so don’t need your help’ I replied ‘you sure’ she had walked over to the dining area and said ‘yes look showing me the bottle see its screw top, very easy’ while she unscrewed the cap, she tipped her head and looked at me, she screwed it back on and sat back on the sofa.

I looked at my phone and realised I had 2 missed calls from my sister, and a text. Satty asked ‘what’s happening’ peering over towards me, I said ‘my sister she wants to know where I am’ Satty replied ‘you in trouble, naughty boy you going to get shittarr (Punjabi word for slipper after being in trouble) just text her back and say you be back soon’ I replied ‘she probably thinks I’ve gone out again’ Satty asked ‘do you go out a lot then? I replied ‘well kind of’ Satty then pulled herself towards me grabbing my arm ‘how many times do you go out a week? I was about to answer and she said ‘like last week how many times did you go out? I said ‘well Friday is always defo, then maybe 2 other days’ Satty replied ‘o really what just drinking or clubbing too? I said, ‘sometimes depends how the night went’ She asked ‘why you going out so much? I said ‘it’s just something to do it gets so boring at home’ Satty replied ‘must be a reason though’ I said ‘well before I met you me and my mate were just going out trying to find someone, but it just turned out to be a drink up every time if we didn’t meet any girls’ Satty replied ‘I think it does settle you down once you meet someone and it also better on the wallet’ Our glasses of wine had finished so Satty poured out from the new bottle while she did this, she added ‘that makes sense, no wonder your folks are not happy and don’t trust you, it’s not good is it’ while looking at me and handing my glass ‘well your with me now, alright!’ I looked at her and said ‘yep!’ ‘So, what you going to do? Satty asked ‘what you going to tell them’ I said ‘I will think of something, I’ll say I’m around a friend’s house’ Satty looked at me grimacing and said ‘hmmmm well its 10 o’clock now so your late, why don’t you just stay here’ with a surprised look on my face I said ‘what stay the night? Satty said ‘yeah I’m not going to cook you in a pot and eat you’ she laughed while sipped her wine, and added ‘well I might, anyway I want you to stay with me, it’s too late for you to go on your own, plus you have to eat the pizza’ I replied ‘okay’ Satty said ‘well at least you’re not holed up somewhere or in club drunk or where ever you end up on your nights out’ I nodded my head and agreed. Satty held my hand and added ‘is that alright I want you to stay’ Our eyes met and we kissed this time for quite a while, Satty was sitting up with some cushions, we kissed passionately my hand was under her hair I was stroking and caressing the back of her neck, we pecked at each other’s lips slowly with long kisses in between. I pulled away and said ‘I want to kiss you everywhere’ Satty replied ‘I would love that’ I moved down to her feet and gave them a peck, then kissed her ankles and calf, and the inside of her thighs over her jeans, I could smell her perfumed moisturiser I moved over her waist to her navel, I pulled down her jeans slightly and gave her a kiss there Satty wriggled and moved her hips towards my face, I carried on up her body my hands were up the side of her hips, I stopped just as my fingers touched her bra strap. I came up and kissed her neck, we were both breathing heavily now, we both kissed again but suddenly Satty pulled away and said, ‘O no the pizza!’ Quick quick get off. She kind of walked quickly to the kitchen and shouted ‘it’s all burnt Indy! O know’ I walked over to take a look there was smoke coming out of the oven and the pizza was all black. Holding the tray with the blackened pizza Satty looked up at me nodding her head in a slightly drunken slur ‘what we going to eat now’ I replied ‘each other’ and laughed Satty looked at me, giving my bum a pinch ‘I think we will! The way we are going’ we embraced and while kissing Satty reached behind me and said ‘pizza delivery!’ she pulled out a pizza delivery leaflet from a draw, while Satty called for a pizza, I called my sister I said ‘Hi I had to go to work and got late something came up, so I’m going to stay at friends’ My sister replied ‘yeah okay I bet you are at work, probably going out again’ I said ‘ Just let mum and dad know’ Sister said ‘I will but they won’t believe me, I hope it’s worth it whatever you’re doing’ so basically she didn’t believe me but I didn’t really care as I thought this time it had been worth telling a little white lie.

We went back to the sofa and sat down by now we were both quite merry, Satty asked ‘Was that your sister on the phone’ I replied ‘Yes I told her I have something at work and will be staying at a friend’s house, then I will go to work in the morning’ Satty said ‘Well half of it is true at least’ Looking at me she said ‘you think it’s worth it’ I said ‘O yeah of course it is’ putting my arm around her I added ‘I am so glad I have sorted out the mess that happened last week, as I knew this relationship and you deserved it, I think I have made amends’ Satty nodded while resting her head on my shoulder ‘I am so glad we did this too, it’s been so lovely, I would have been regretting it for a long time otherwise if I hadn’t also given it a chance, but I needed convincing from you of course’ From there we hugged and kissed, its seemed like we been dating for years but this was just our third time we seen each other. I asked Satty what she thought when she first saw me in the bar two weeks ago. Satty said ‘my mates were egging me on to find someone as I had been single for a few months, and asked what type of guy I would go for they pointed at a few in the bar and I said no to about 3 or 4, then I saw you and said he’s nice, it was your face looked very friendly and sharp features’ I replied ‘really! sharp features and friendly face’ Satty then said ‘ I was right cos you are a really nice genuine guy, good heart and not bad looking’ Raising my eyebrows I said ‘o really not bad eh!’ Satty said ‘so what about you, what did you think of me first time you saw me? I have to be truthful that night when you came over I got so nervous I kept giggling at every time you talked’ I said ‘I wasn’t actually expecting much, as I just saw the side of your face through the crowd but when I saw you close up I was surprised I thought wow she’s nice, good looking nice lips, nice eyes, I actually thought is she really single, I couldn’t believe my luck as that kind of proposition has never happened to me before’ Satty interrupted me ‘you never been asked if your single before? I replied ‘no I never been asked if I am Sikh, let alone being asked if I am Jatt caste,  Satty replied’ well I was making sure but I had a feeling you were Jatt I could just tell by your features’ Satty added ‘I wanted to be right this time so if it went well we could make something of it long term you know’ I looked at Satty and said ‘what you mean marriage material!’ She said, ‘I’m not scaring you, am I?’ I said ‘well not really cos we have had our fun now being at  uni and the times after uni, so getting married to someone you know really well would be best thing’ Satty replied ‘I’m glad we think the same way’ With that she kissed me and while she pulled away she glanced at my face for a few seconds, scanning my face and carried on kissing me with a bit more force.


Satty then stood up and put her hand out, while I held her hand we walked to her bedroom, we didn’t say anything to each other , Satty fell back onto her bed still holding my hand she pulled me back with her, I pushed her hair away from her face to kiss her, I smelt her perfume it was so fresh, we were both breathing heavily, I whispered in Satty ear ‘are you sure’ Satty said yes, so we both hurryingly pulled each other’s clothes off, with both our jeans down our legs we started to wriggle into place, I kissed Satty down between her legs and went onto her navel and chest, it felt so right and really passionate, we were there for what seemed such a long time, Satty squeezed her legs around my hips, I was deep inside, in my head I kept thinking is this right we were going to break up and not see each other just earlier that evening, after we had finished. We both lay down on the bed with exhaustion, after a short pause we both said nothing then Satty said ‘O wow that was great!!’ I replied ‘Yeh wow, I really didn’t know we were going to do this!’ Satty said ‘well it felt like the right thing’ I replied ‘I still can’t believe it from being on the phone earlier on to this’ Satty replied ‘I had to be sure and yeah when you put it that way it’s pretty good going and amazing where we are now!’ and right on que the bell went the pizza delivery guy was here.  Satty got up put some clothes on and opening the front door. Satty shouted ‘the pizza is here, and your top has dried’ The dryer had stopped so I went over to the kitchen area topless and pulled out my shirt from the dryer, Satty had a pizza slice in her hand and let me have a bite while saying ‘it’s so tasty, prob cos we are so hungry’ I said ‘I am starving’ We both sat down and had the pizza while having a few sips of from our glasses of wine, the pizza was so nice as the dough was still soft. I asked, ‘So what happens now?’ Satty replied turning her head to face me ‘well we will have to get married now and have kids’ We both laughed. Satty added ‘let’s take it easy and see how things go’ I am so glad we met and sorted things out’ she added, I replied ‘ Yes I’m so happy we sorted things out, I just feel like I am in a dream look at us, it’s like we been going out for years!’ Satty replied ‘Yes it feels that way we have a good connection everything feels right, a bit strange really from what may have happened if you had not grovelled and made up with me, I have to admit I am really falling for you in a big way’ I added ‘I felt that way when I called you earlier and after our first date’ We both put down our glasses down and started to kiss, then fell back onto the sofa in each other’s arms. We both shut our eyes and fell asleep on the sofa it had been a very tiring day the emotions a had drained both of us. After an hour I woke up and Satty said lets go to the bedroom  so we went over and got all snuggled up in bed and went to sleep, Satty looked very tired I gave her a peck on the cheek and we said goodnight.

Although this did not happen I wished it was the way the relationship would of turned out if I had made up with Satty, I truly believe there was something between us which deserved more, as I have mentioned more than once in my story, I wonder what could of followed maybe marriage or kids who knows. I must be so lucky that after meeting Satty I had two failed wedding arrangements and then got married to someone who I met myself via some friends which in the whole has worked out tremendously well, we have two lovely boys and a nice life. I do still think I will meet Satty one day during my lifetime and make amends it would be nice to see how her life has panned out. Wherever she is I hope she is healthy and has met someone she loves, as have I.


 2020 IJohal

Submitted: February 02, 2021

© Copyright 2021 joelstar. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Facebook Comments

More True Confessions Short Stories

Other Content by joelstar

Short Story / True Confessions