Totally Committed, a short play

Script by: Michael Licwinko

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When listening to God may not be the best choice.

CHARACTERS

Stevie, female

Jordan, male

Note:Actors can be any age, just so long as it’s believable that the female has had a sexual life and has been celibate for almost a decade. Diverse casting is encouraged.

TIME

2001

SETTING

Stevie’s apartment. The only necessary set piece is a couch (or a bed if the play is set in the bedroom).

(Lights up on JORDAN and STEVIE, some clothes off, kissing and groping. Jazz plays in the b.g. STEVIE moans)

JORDAN

Oh, yeah. Feels good. Feels sooo goooood.

STEVIE

Jordan, stop.

JORDAN

Can’t stop.

STEVIE

Please stop.

JORDAN

Don’t wanna stop.

(STEVIE pushes JORDAN with such force that he rolls across the floor)

What?!!

STEVIE

(covering her breasts with her shirt)

I can’t.

JORDAN

You have to.

STEVIE

I do not.

JORDAN

But, you promised.

STEVIE

My promise to the Lord is stronger.

JORDAN

If he were sitting here with the raging stiffo I have, he’d be saying, ‘Stevie, grabbeth thy rod and leadeth me to salvation. Giveth me salvation. Stroketh me to ejaculation.’

STEVIE

This is no joking matter.

JORDAN

Who’s joking? You can’t leave me in this condition.

STEVIE

I felt a shooting pain. It was a sign.

JORDAN

It was pleasure. The intense kind. You just can’t tell the difference after all these years.

STEVIE

I know the difference. It started when you touched me down there.

JORDAN

Down there could use a little touching. I’m surprised your clit hasn’t divorced you for neglect.

STEVIE

I take my vow very seriously. And so does my clit.

JORDAN

Is that why your hand made a bee-line for my dick?

STEVIE

I’m not immune to temptation. Just because I’m celibate doesn’t mean I’m not human.

JORDAN

Stevie, you haven’t masturbated in nine years. I question your humanness.

STEVIE

I pray. Especially when it’s throbbing like it is now. Pray with me.

JORDAN

Let me do a laying of the hands. Isn’t that what Jesus did to relieve to pain?

STEVIE

I know Jesus. You’re not Jesus.

(JORDAN plays a sexy song on his phone)

I don’t think that’s a good idea.

JORDAN

We always dance to this song.

STEVIE

This is different.

JORDAN

What about the ring?

STEVIE

It’s beautiful.

JORDAN

It’s commitment.

STEVIE

Yes, it is.

JORDAN

So?

STEVIE

I just don’t think we should dance, Jordan.

JORDAN

Forget the music, then. Talk to me. Don’t look at me like that. That ring is supposed to be my ticket to the Promised Land.

STEVIE

I’ve had a change of heart.

JORDAN

You had what, Cruella?

STEVIE

Don’t be mean.

JORDAN

When did you have this revelation?

STEVIE

The other day. And I owe it all to you, sweetheart.

JORDAN

Don’t blame me for your fit of temporary insanity.

STEVIE

I’m not crazy. This is about fulfillment. Our fulfillment.

JORDAN

(Taking her in his arms)

Then let me start fulfilling.

STEVIE

I’m talking spiritual.

JORDAN

Excuse me, but I’ve had enough spirit to fill ten heavens. You promised me some sex and I want it now!

STEVIE

God will forgive you for that lie.

JORDAN

Did I say intercourse? Did I?

STEVIE

No, but I naturally thought so.

JORDAN

Sex is comprised of many activities, if you recall. None of which I’ve been able to enjoy for sex—I mean, six—months. Six agonizingly loooong months.

STEVIE

I never forced you into anything.

JORDAN

Granted, but you did say that once we were totally committed to each other, we could commence with touching, caressing and kissing, right?

STEVIE

Yes.

JORDAN

Baby, I’m tired of taking matters into my own hand. I’ve had the patience of, of—

STEVIE

Job.

JORDAN

Yeah, Job. And I’d say that ring you accepted tonight—accepted willingly, I might add—that’s about as totally committed as two people can get, wouldn’t you say?

STEVIE

Why are you questioning me like a criminal?

JORDAN

Because what you’re doing to me is a crime. Do you agree with my last statement?

STEVIE

Yes, I do, Mister Mason.

JORDAN

Very funny. Listen, if you go back on this, what’s next?

STEVIE

Like what?

JORDAN

Before your condition—

STEVIE

Celibacy is not a condition. It’s a privilege.

JORDAN

Fine. Before your privilege, what was your favorite thing about sex?

STEVIE

You know.

JORDAN

Humor me.

STEVIE

Oral sex.

JORDAN

What if you decide next year that it’s disgusting?

STEVIE

Never happen. You don’t know how much I loved it.

JORDAN

See, you said loved. Past tense. You’ve already changed your mind.

STEVIE

Oh, sweetheart, I can’t wait for the moment we put our mouths to work.

JORDAN

This is torture. To love someone more than the world and not be able to touch them.

STEVIE

It’ll be worth the wait. You’ll see. Besides, we’re more than just sex, aren’t we?

JORDAN

It’s not natural to suppress these feelings.

STEVIE

It’s what made you so special, though. You saw beyond the physical.

JORDAN

Everybody told me I was nuts to go along with this, but I said, “Nope, I know what I’m doing. We have a pact. Appetizers before the ‘I do,’ the main course after.” Baby, I haven’t eaten a full meal in six months and I’m hungry.

STEVIE

Oh, but how good that first mouthful is going to taste. And all the ones after it. Listen, I know it’s hard. (giggles) Sorry. You said you understood why I wanted to wait.

JORDAN

Easy for you. You’re not human, remember?

STEVIE

That’s not true.

JORDAN

Anybody who can go ten years without sex...

STEVIE

I told you I pray.

JORDAN

I know, I know. Which means you’ve questioned your decision.

STEVIE

Not giving in has made me stronger.

JORDAN

Lucky me. You promised physical contact when we committed. You’ve changed your mind without consulting me, and now I have to suffer until we get married.

STEVIE

It’ll be easier for you if you see it as something besides suffering.

JORDAN

Let’s elope. Tonight. There’s got to be a state close by that will marry us.

STEVIE

No. We’re sticking to our plan. Jordan?

JORDAN

(pouting) What?

STEVIE

You say you understand my faith, but do you?

JORDAN

Something about being used by men.

STEVIE

Bingo. And the solution was the commitment I made to Jesus Christ. I know that whomever I’m destined to share my life with will see this greatness that surrounds me, and enlarges itself every moment of my life. Selah.

JORDAN

Jesus never went back on his word.

STEVIE

Is something else bothering you? About us, I mean.

JORDAN

Not a thing. You know you’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted to marry. Ever.

STEVIE

Then what’s another six months compared to decades together?

JORDAN

What about kissing? Kissing is not a bad thing.

STEVIE

It’s a wonderful thing. One of the most intimate acts two people can share.

JORDAN

How about one teeny, tiny kiss to commemorate our commitment?

STEVIE

Just one? I don’t know.

JORDAN

I know you have a heart.

STEVIE

Well, it is a special occasion.

(They kiss. Jordan caresses her breast. She puts her hand near his penis, but instantly pulls it away and ends the kiss)

You said just a kiss.

JORDAN

Your hand was on a journey, too.

STEVIE

God, but you’re a great kisser.

JORDAN

I want to sleep with you tonight.

STEVIE

Jordan.

JORDAN

I mean just sleep.

STEVIE

And you wonder why I insist on no contact. Look where this is heading.

JORDAN

But, just now, the kiss, you liked it. Loved it, even. You can’t tell me you can turn it off for six more months, just like that.

STEVIE

I must avoid the temptation.

JORDAN

I want the real reason you changed your mind.

STEVIE

About two years ago I met this guy, a real ladies’ man so I was shocked when he stuck around. We’d been dating about seven months when he said he’d finally found the woman he wanted buried next to him.

JORDAN

How romantic.

STEVIE

It was the way he said it.

JORDAN

Whatever.

10.

STEVIE

Anyway, we kissed and before I knew it, his head was between my legs.

JORDAN

You were naked?! With a man?!

STEVIE

Quit making fun. I was ashamed of my behavior and stopped it right away. I told him there’d be no more until the wedding and that was the last time I saw him. I shouldn’t be surprised, really. My point is, just because you say you’re committed, it doesn’t mean...

JORDAN

But, I gave you a ring.

STEVIE

If you can wait until the wedding, then I’ll know you were sincere. There’s no better way to show your love.

JORDAN

Physical contact between two people as they grow closer is completely natural. More, it’s totally essential.

STEVIE

What you say makes perfect sense. The answer is still no.

JORDAN

Then I want my ring back.

STEVIE

You’re not serious.

JORDAN

I’m not leaving without it.

STEVIE

What has happened to you?

JORDAN

Me? You’re the one denying us an essential element in our relationship.

11.

STEVIE

Leaving would be the biggest mistake of your life.

JORDAN

I can’t live with this new arrangement.

STEVIE

Are you really leaving?

JORDAN

No contact?

(STEVIE shakes her head. JORDAN opens the door)

STEVIE

See, I was right. You’re just like all the others.

JORDAN

None of the others stayed this long. Or gave you a ring.

STEVIE

No, but they left just the same. (long pause) I’m going to bed. Alone. Will I hear from you tomorrow? (pause) I love you, Jordan. You’re very special. In my eyes and His.

JORDAN

Yeah, you’re special, too.

STEVIE

It’ll be worth it, you’ll see. Just put your faith in the Lord.

(JORDAN glances back at STEVIE and leaves. STEVIE leans against the door and slides to a crouching position. She closes her eyes and puts a couple of fingers on her clitoris as the lights fade to black)