The Mask

I look into my mirror and see my true face and it is a stranger. I have worn my mask for so long I no longer know who I am. So I put it on and hide my true face behind it again. We all wear masks every day but most only put them on once in a while, I rarely remove mine. I show the world a face of bravery, a face filled with love and joy, but it is all a lie. I feel scared and alone, I’m heartbroken and pain is all I know.

I wish I had the nerve to pull this chipped and cracked facade off and show the world the true me. I wish I could let at least one person see me for who I truly am again, but the fear is too great. I can never again let it slip, I can never again let another see me. I can never again trust another to see behind that mask.

That is what I thought but now I have found love again and even thou the fear is there I have hope. I pray that this time once the mask is pulled aside they won’t turn away in disgust or fear, but continue to love me. I pray that this time I can find what I want so bad, a lover and friend to hold me and make me whole.

I reach for the mask but my hand falters and my nerve breaks. I can’t do it, I can’t remove the mask and show the world what lies below it, the true me. I am a stranger to even myself now and the fear I had driven into me so hard and deep will never let me pull it off and show the world anything but a lie.