As a little girl, I knew
As a little girl, I knew,
I have to act as a lady,
And try not to be one of the few.
As a little girl, I knew,
I have to act as a lady,
And I can't do what I really want to pursue.
As a little girl, I knew,
I have to act as a lady.
.- -. --- - .... . .-. / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .--. --- . -- --..-- / --- -.- .- -.-- ..--..
A Dream Gone Wrong
Sometimes, I can't wait to see you,
to go to my place and have a sweet chat,
I hope this dream won't make me feel blue.
Sometimes, I can't wait to see you,
to go to my place and have a sweet chat,
Until, I realized that I can't be yours and I didn't knew.
Sometimes, I can't wait to see you,
to go to my place and have a sweet chat.
.- -. --- - .... . .-. / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .--. --- . -- --..-- / --- -.- .- -.-- ..--..
A mysterious night
In the middle of the night,
I see little girls,
Walking towards the forest.
They're dressed in blue gowns,
Crowned with cute flowers.
What are they going to do,
Shall I follow them?
I need to decide faster,
But I can't just go.
.- -. --- - .... . .-. / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .--. --- . -- --..-- / --- -.- .- -.-- ..--..
A Fascinating Question
Since I was a young child,
I wonder why people are scared of death,
This topic has me beguiled,
But I am too young to talk about it.
Until I realized, this answer is required,
However, how can I find its answer?
I know the quest is going to be wild,
But I will find it even in exchange of my breath.
Don't worry, I'll be safe by making it mild.
.- -. --- - .... . .-. / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .--. --- . -- --..-- / --- -.- .- -.-- ..--..
A little note
Some of them are nice,
Some things also need to change,
Don't worry, it's done.
.- -. --- - .... . .-. / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .--. --- . -- --..-- / --- -.- .- -.-- ..--..
Author's note:
Submitted: February 05, 2021
© Copyright 2021 Alizzia Ward. All rights reserved.
Comments
I really liked this piece! Er, pieces! :)
Sun, February 7th, 2021 4:07pmJust a small bit of advice: pens aren’t all about rhyming, a few rhymes with deep descriptions and heart touching words is what I try to teach. Try not thinking of the rhyming and instead go for touching the readers soul. I hope this helped! :)
Mon, February 8th, 2021 6:21pmI’m glad I can be of help :)
Tue, February 9th, 2021 1:18amFacebook Comments
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Luna Cai
I really enjoyed reading these five!
Sat, February 6th, 2021 4:16pmYou asked for advice to improve, right? So, here are some things I noticed could be changed: (please note that I am definitely not a professional writer, I'm just a teen who writes as a hobby)
One thing I noticed was a small grammatical error in the second poem: "I didn't knew" should be "I didn't know", although if you want it to rhyme with the line below, you can use "I never knew" or something along those lines instead.
Other than that, I think that something you could work on to make your poems better is your flow. In the first poem, the flow is smooth and it works nicely, but in my opinion some poems after, the flow feels a little "jagged"? Although in free write I don't think a smooth flow is as necessary, in lyrical poems it's rather important. I'm not really sure how you even improve flow, but some things you can do to make poems sound smoother are to perhaps write in a metre or use rhymes in a set form to make it sound more lyrical? Haha, I'm really not too sure.
Well I suppose this is all I have to say, I hope to see more from you!
Author
Reply
Thank you very much! Your advice will help me to improve and grow more! It is my pleasure to have a native speaker to correct me!
Sun, February 7th, 2021 3:08pm