Larry Slade is Full of S***: Act 2, Scene 3

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic

After a rather interesting evening, Jane reaches out to Charlie for help.



JANE talks on the phone. CHARLIE sweeps. 


JANE: No, Alex. Don’t come. I can do it myself… Because I ran out of ideas… I told you what happened… No, I’m not. I don’t know. I didn’t feel like myself… No, Alex. Don’t say that. It’s really bad. 


CHARLIE approaches a light fixture with a step-stool; the bulb needs to be replaced. 


JANE: But we tried that already. We need more. 


CHARLIE steps onto the stool, making a noise. JANE notices and turns. 


JANE: What are you doing? 


CHARLIE: My job, such as it is. 


JANE: You were spying. 


CHARLIE: I was curious. Sue me. 


): Never mind. He’s just a janitor. Look, I’ll call you tonight. 


She hangs up. He unscrews the old bulb and throws it some distance into the garbage can. 


JANE: What if you missed?


CHARLIE: More work for me. I mean, who gives a shit anymore anyway? 


) That’s really cynical. 


) I am. It’s bad. But I mean, is that not an appropriate response to what’s going on. I guess you don’t watch the news. 


JANE: I can’t. I get scared, but… my dad watches it. 




JANE: Yeah. 


CHARLIE: And this detail is significant because…


JANE: Look...can I ask you something?

CHARLIE: Yes, I have a functioning brain. 


JANE: No, not that… I mean, like a favor. 


CHARLIE: A favor? Hm...this is getting interesting. 


JANE: No...can you just…my dad’s dying.


CHARLIE: O...K… I mean, I’m sorry. 


JANE: Well, he’s an asshole. 




JANE: But I have to save him. 


CHARLIE: I’m so confused.


JANE: Stop commenting! Let me tell it. Slow. I’m not good with words. Don’t pity me. 


CHARLIE: I’m not….


) Six weeks ago, I was over at my dad’s house, cleaning up. The phone rang. He told me not to answer, but I did. I just did. The lady sounded really serious. Dad looked weird when I gave him the phone. But when he talked to her he got this… I don’t know… like a mannequin. 


CHARLIE: Dead eyes. 


JANE: Yeah. 


CHARLIE: Know them well. 


JANE: And then he said “fuck you” and hung up. I asked what was wrong. He wouldn’t answer.  I asked again. He looked at me for a long time. He said, “My heart. Go.” And I did. 


CHARLIE: Wow… I mean, I’m surprised he even gets physicals. 


JANE: Once a decade or so. He gets curious. 


CHARLIE: Yeah, that’s the problem. 


JANE: We’re off track.


CHARLIE: Okay, keep talking. 


) Anyway, my sister came out from the city. She works there. We guilt-tripped him to go back to the doctor’s. He did. Diet and exercise, the doctor said. He took pamphlets. But he threw them out. And last night… I made a salad, he didn’t eat it, that’s all you need to know. 


CHARLIE: I’m confused again. 


JANE: Just shut up already!... And now, I need your help. 




JANE: You’re depressed right?


CHARLIE: Not diagnosed, but pretty sure. 


JANE: You want to die, right?


CHARLIE: What the fuck? 


JANE: You do, don’t you? 




She takes the bulb from him and screws it in. It burns bright. 


JANE: Well, then you’re coming over for dinner. 

End Scene.

Submitted: February 06, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Tony Chiba. All rights reserved.

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