Never Going To Find You

Never Going To Find You

-

I puked inside my dreams

And I fell asleep behind the wheel

That span and span

Around and 'round

Tires rollin' on the ground

With no way for me to tell

Just why I've been sent to Hell

The motion of the closing doors

To your heart that I have hurt

Slaps me on my ass as I leave

And try to take my dignity with me

But I've been afraid

My whole damned life

I don't know why I can't make you mine

Looking for love is like workin' in a coal mine

Searching for gold

As if that was ever right

But I back off

And you just bleed

Out your heart

__while taking it away from me

I know you just want me to suffer

I'm never forgiven

My amends never matter

Well, fuck bein' a part of your past

Without you to hold me together

I fall to pieces, without you, forever

And nothing is ever going to get better

No matter where they send my heart

I've never have yours

And that's too hard

Your sentencing control that you have on me

And my heart

__is just too much time

____to have to serve

Why am I doing time for you?

I've bled all I can bleed

I'll be dead

And you'll never even read

That's what's wrong with you and me

"We" don't exist

Not even in the past

Because I blotted out our history

Now getting to know you again

Is just an impossibility

You're gone

And I'm without you, completely

Even my past can never be complete

Because you're missing from it

And we can never be

__what we used to be

'Cause we've grown up already

And grew apart

Now you're just art

I throw up, like barf

And I'm never going to find you

__am I?

-

02-08-'21 #2

D. L. Cannon