Sea Made Of Tears

I cried but I heard myself laugh. 

I sobbed but I heard myself chuckle. 

Everyone tells me that I look happy, but am I?

What they don't know is that I always wait for night to come,
For Darkness to fill up the town
And for Silence to hang on the air. 

Because at night, everyone's asleep.

And when everyone's asleep, I can finally be my true self. 

Closing my bedroom door silently, I crawl into bed and pull the soft blanket over my head. 

Tears running down my cheeks till my eyeballs are red, sobbing till my lungs give out, I cry through the night. 

Only the stars and the streetlights know what I do every night,
Only the moon and the night sky knows that I cry every night,
Hoping to wake up and find myself in another life. 

At least at night I can be myself,
Doing what I always want to be doing. 

I close my eyes tight, and try to sleep for the sake of tomorrow. 

And when I do, I have a dream. A girl is drowning. 

Drowning in the middle of a endless sea of tears.
For a moment I wonder, what is she doing in the middle of nowhere? 

And then I finally realize that the girl is me. 

As I drown, I gasp for air. 

I scream for help, knowing none will come. 

And I finally give up, realizing it's no use to fight.
I feel the water filling my lungs, darkness covering my eyes as I close them tight. 

I wake up in bed, sunlight coming into my room through the gap between the curtains. 

I dress up for school, and as I pass the mirror, I smile.

My mom looks at my face and ask me if I cried, and I say,

Yeah.... Don't worry, though. I just read a sad story last night, that's all.

My mom asks me what the title of the book was, and I lie,

Uh... I don't remember. There was a girl and she was drowning. And nobody came to help. 

do know the title of the story, I don't bother talking about it any more.

Sea Made Of Tears