The Great Pacific Garbage Brain

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is in honor of Earth Day 2021 and to all the incredible and empathetic people that occupy this planet.

Depression makes no sense.

I have an urge to be filled up, with some…thing?

But like no internal compass as to what that is?

It’s kind of like being a stray dog that used to eat greasy napkins, grass, and chalk because he was hungry and really just wanted to fill himself up with something, because it felt like the right thing to do.

So later that dog becomes rescued and continues to eat rocks and tissues because that’s what used to make him feel something – full, temporarily.

Sooo we go from abandoned kid, to adult human thing and we still fill ourselves up with trash until we are on the verge of bursting like a seagull that just had a field day on the pacific garbage patch.

Eventually a beach comber, that clearly grew up eating rocks as well, stumbles upon that bird’s rotting polyurethane carcass… and stabs it with her pointy stick and puts it in a garbage bag that she will later pour into garbage, that will then most likely end up in the ocean once again.

Oh the cycle of garbage upon garbage and plastic shiny things that make us feel something temporarily until we discard it, or we eat it, and things like it until we burst once again.

Oooooh this chemical complex mess called happiness. We all know you are just an assortment of transmitters firing inconsistently in this garbage patch brain. The garbage patch surrounded by life but all it can do is get wrapped up in itself and drift about and wait for an environmentalist to film it overhead again.

Oh, and the attention is dazzling. I must say… LOOK. LOOK! How can I catch one of those underwater ocean currents and clog it like an artery? Look at me, look at me!

A competing chopper arrives above and the pilot & reporters hum disapprovingly… hmmmmm….

“Heyyy Garbage! Why don’t you just try taking a walk?”

I just float there with no legs.

“Yeh yeh, hey Patchy! Why don’t you just walk on up here and get some sunshine??”

I am giant, and they don’t know this, but I might actually be here until the sunshine comes to get ME

Right about the time that the sun swallows the earth

They just stare at me, because I have no mouth and cannot respond

Sooo… I gurgle a bit to try to scare them off

Giant bubbles float to the top, and my seagull friends screech and sway above me

The reporters and the pilot are both smoking cigarettes now and eating Whataburger

Chomping and looking at me

“Maybe ya shoulda been a grand piano!”

“Yeh yeh, maybe you shoulda been a roller coaster!”

“Whatevs, I’m tired uh lookin at this”

I sigh and they chopper off into the distance as their Whataburger wrappers fly up and down onto my body

Oh Hello, old friend…

And eventually people get tired of hearing about a garbage heap in the ocean and just want to get HAPPY again. OH garbage patch me. Can’t you just be an island or something? I mean JESUS CHRIST… Even the EARTH which hits a piece of rock at the colossal speed of an inch a minute can sprout up new islands in the middle of the ocean. And your STUPID ASS can’t even pile yourself up enough to reach the FLOOR? Even after BILLIONS upon BILLIONS of people are discarding your structure every GOD dAMN DAY? Ughhhhhh what a useless piece of floating garbage.

Well…I guess I’ll just float around until the sun explodes…

Wait… what’s this? What are these boats? Suddenly I feel a net land on my body

Hey heyyyy, I just wanna let y’all know that I’m GIANT and there’s no way you can catch me

So…. you honestly shouldn’t even try, ugh oh yeah, you can’t hear me..

I’ll send some gurgles up their way

They reel some of me in and start removing trash from my limbs

Hey uhhh… you don’t gotta do that… I don’t wanna ruin a perfectly good day.

“How could we do this to our beautiful oceans?... it’s unconscionable”

Heh… you’ve got me mistaken lady, I’m not a beautiful ocean, I’m just a heaping pile of trash…

“I know… it’s terrible, but if we all come together, we can really make a difference”

Wait…. There are more of you out there???

You wanna… help ME?

I can’t even remember the last time I saw the fishies and the coral reefs.

You can’t see it now you earthly angels… but I’m cryingggggg

I bet you all used to grow up eating garbage too… huh?

A disheveled looking person emerges from the lower deck, with a poker in hand, and walks up to the front of the boat in front of me

“Yessss, I know it would be here!”

They hold their poker triumphantly in the air and I gawk at them

Awwwwwww…. It’s the person I saw on the beach!

Wait wait, hold still so I can paint you!

If I could I would give you a hug!

So I’m gonna try, oh wait, hold on, got a bub b l e

A bubble shoots up and blasts them all in the face



I’m so gross.

They all laugh in delight.

“God, I love the ocean. It’s so amazingly weird & beautiful”

I shed a giant tear no one can see

“You were here all along and I didn’t see”

Submitted: February 13, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Roxanne Byrne. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Serge Wlodarski

Good stuff. Reminds me of I Am The Walrus.

Sat, February 13th, 2021 12:52pm


Wow, what a great compliment! Thank you so much Serge, that really means a lot. And thank you so much for reading and commenting:)

Sat, March 6th, 2021 1:14pm

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