Mardi Gras Virus

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic

SYDNEY IS CONTROLLED BY THE RAINBOW CULT!

Mardi Gras Virus

 

The rabble are too busy

Celebrating

Degenerate behaviour,

To bother 

Praying to 

Their saviour!


Submitted: February 18, 2021

© Copyright 2021 tom mcmullen. All rights reserved.

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Comments

88 fingers

They can't. Covid cancelled Mardi Gras.

Fri, February 19th, 2021 1:09am

Author
Reply

Not here in Sydney it hasn't 88, it's going on for weeks, they used an image of our major Catholic church to promote it and they rightfully got the shits. The rainbow and the illiterate alphabet run Sydney. The Mayor's a lesbian and an opponents are the same. Thanks for reading.

Thu, February 18th, 2021 5:19pm

mcomito

scansion: the first line would be :
"The rabble are too busy celebrating degenerate behavior"
or maybe
"The rabble are too busy celebrating
Degenerate behavior"
that's the rhythm of it and it's quite propulsive, good on you
and then it feels like you are missing a few syllables in the second pass - like maybe better:
"to bother praying to their father, lord and savior" - which adds 3 syllables and evens out your lines - that kind of thing - read it to yourself out loud - it can be like music, if it is to be a poem it should be in fact music - read it out loud

Fri, February 19th, 2021 8:16am

Author
Reply

Thank you for your suggestion mcomito.

Fri, February 19th, 2021 12:25pm

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