At Twenty-two

I wonder if you are in the
same boat as me…
Where your thoughts are
wild and your mind wants to be free.

- The overthinker

Your words made me bleed from
cuts I could not see.
I carried them with me, believing the lies
that looked like butterflies

“They will help you” you said
little did I know they would be the reason
I feel dead.

- Narcissistic after shock

To feel, oh what a bittersweet thing it can be.

I was a diamond until your raised hand
started to chip away at me

- abuse

I dimmed the light in my eyes because of
your fears, fears that I would disappear.

- and I did

At age eleven you were the first to touch me
the way lovers do, but we were not lovers,
no…
at age eleven I knew monsters existed because of men like you.

Dear sister,

I did not give birth to you, but you are mine
since the tender age of eight when our mother
left us behind and our father sorted out his life.
you are mine
forever I will know you as my daughter
while you only know me as sister

- you are mine always 

Not everyone you meet will
have the same understanding of
the pain you carry deep

- and that is okay too

shame is what I feel standing bare infront of you
“why” you asked me as your fingers graze
the side of my exposed hips

Shame, is an odd thing 

Where do those pieces go?
the ones we lose as we grow…

What do you do when at twenty-two
doctors poke and probe at you,
when trying to find the reason
behind why you are feeling less than a woman
when you look in the mirror seeing a failure
for being unable to create the one thing
your body was designed to do.

- When infertility struck

I dream of a future that
does not seem for me as I am for it.

For I miss you more
day by day.

Oh how I wish you stayed.

Our love is like fireworks
when we set it on fire
we light up the whole damn sky

- even if it is just for one night.

I wonder if our lips will ever know
each other again…