My Life

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

What's kickin', little chicken?

Hola!

I searched for the best junior college in the state, and joined there believing it. It was all girls college. I thought I will be cool with no boys around. But trust me that was even more devastating. With boys around, girls hide their rude behavior at least for the sake of impressing them, they try being gentle, soft hearted or whatever but with no boys around, that was EWWW! I don’t say all girls did that, there were all kind of people around but many of them seemed like green-eyed monsters. I didn’t know that 64 women are each other’s own enemy. I never understood what made them jealous?! My hostel room was a piece of shit, I thought I could manage to be away from home staying in hostel, but that was nigh on impossible.

There used to be 7 people in my room, who are grouped together always with their school friends. I couldn’t stand in their group, because my ideologies never matched theirs. Or I can say I never tried to match mine with them. I am that type of person who first sees adversities and only after possibilities. Like I said, I was social and compassionate but my hostel days changed me a lot. I always preferred to be alone. I would be irritated if someone comes to me. By saying this I don’t mean I was moody back then, I would talk to people, but I didn’t understand that I should act like I do like them even when I don’t like them. 

I hated being away from home. I missed all those real people around me. It was devastating to act all the day long. Tell me what is more pathetic than you not able to be yourself? I was terribly homesick. I was not at all able to sleep in hostel. Sometimes I won’t call my parents in weeks, I won’t sleep, I won’t study, I won’t talk, I would just glare at the books and fantasize about getting out of that hell. It seemed like it was never ending for me. I really don’t remember how days passed, or what I did there. Although any of these didn’t affect my studies, I topped my state board that year with 100% result.

I had no friends until a girl walked in. When I saw her, she was the last one I ever wanted to talk. But she became one of those good friends. Her name is Vividha. She loved me so much. She would never leave my side for any person. She used to baby sit me while I was eating. She cared very much. I am so sorry to say this, but fact being fact, I didn’t feel that connection with her. She was so over emotional, jealous. I barely talk to other classmates. By any chance if she saw me talking to them, I would be done, she would enact a drama for hours saying that I don’t like her anymore and I left her. What?! Left you? How? Just talking to them won’t take me away from you. That was hell lot of drama than I can bear. We had our after exams break for 10 days and I returned exactly on the reported date, actually very less people come on the very first day, there were only few people in the hostel rooms. Okay so, ummm… spilling the beans, she kissed me on my lips while I was talking to her, K. I had my first kiss with a girl! UGH! How more fucked up can my life be?! I slapped her and told her I am straight. Yes! Girls don’t attract me, boys do! I felt bad for slapping Vividha because I know that it was her hormones made her do it, it is as simple as a boy kissing a girl, I can’t blame her for anything. She had been with me all the time and then was the time for me to be with her. I wanted to stand for her. I went to her and apologized for slapping her. She said that it was okay.


Submitted: March 17, 2021

© Copyright 2021 it'ssecret. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Alizzia Ward

Ouch! Did that really happen? That must be a terrible experience... for not being able to be yourself and having a 'possessive' (I just think she was) friend kiss you on the lips.. Ugh!
~Alizzia

Wed, March 17th, 2021 8:02am

Author
Reply

It really was....
Thanks!

Wed, March 17th, 2021 9:59am

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