The Deconversion of Lucid Crow

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Lucid Crow

The story of how I lost my belief in Christianity. A work in progress that has not fully been written yet.
*Small content warning for a brief mention of suicidal thoughts.

Until I add a bibliography, I'll put it here:

[1]Andrew Newberg. How Enlightenment Changes Your Brain. Avery. 2016. Viewed as E-book on Kindle app.

[2] Ralph Vary Chamberlin. The Early Hebrew Conception of the Universe. Wikisource, 1909,

[3] James F. McGrath. Reading Genesis Literally. Patheos, 2014,

[4] John J. Collins. A Short Introduction to the Hebrew Bible. 3rd ed. Viewed as E-book on Kindle app.

Table of Contents

Why I Am Writing This

For most of my life, I was a Christian. I believed in God as the one and only God and creator of the universe. I believed that Jesus was ... Read Chapter

My Conversion

I suppose before I explain my deconversion, I should explain my conversion into Christianity. I was born in the American Bible Belt to a ... Read Chapter

The Chief Doubt

Later in life at church camp, I would feel that same feeling of euphoria again. During the service, I felt as though a tremendous presenc... Read Chapter

A Struggle Against Doubt

I wrestled with my doubts the most while I was at university. I was living on campus away from home, and I had a lot of time with my thou... Read Chapter

The Hand of God Reaching Out

The cognitive dissonance was starting to mount, like water levels rising against a dam, and my faith in my spiritual experiences was the ... Read Chapter

The Road Experience

Upon graduating from university, I was struggling to know what to do with my life. There was a crushing weight of anxiety looming over me... Read Chapter


After a time, I got a job a Christian TV station. I considered it an answered prayer. I only wanted God to give me a job if it was his wi... Read Chapter

A Young Earth?

I had put the problems with evolution out of my mind since leaving university, but one day I saw a Twitter post about evolution that brou... Read Chapter

Speaking in Tongues

Speaking in tongues was a spiritual phenomenon that I had not thought much about. No one in my Southern Baptist church ever spoke in tong... Read Chapter

Neuroscience of Enlightenment Experiences

I found a book by an neuroscientist named Andrew Newberg called How Enlightenment Changes Your Brain. For him, the world “Enlightenment... Read Chapter

Can the Brain Trick Us?

After reading Andrew Newberg’s book, I really started to think about my own spiritual experiences. There now seemed like a real possibi... Read Chapter

Analyzing My Own Spiritual Experiences

I started to critically analyze all of my past spiritual experiences, and came up with three categories that each could fit into. The fir... Read Chapter

Harmonizing Contradictions

If I can’t rely on my spiritual experiences, then I felt as though my only other option was to analyze the Bible. I wanted to confirm f... Read Chapter

Genesis and Ancient Near Eastern Cosmology

While studying biblical contradictions, I decided to investigate the claim that Genesis has two different creation accounts. I figured th... Read Chapter

Faith Starts to Crumble

I still remember where I was and how I felt when I read Genesis in context for the first time. I was sitting in the lobby of the TV stati... Read Chapter

What About Prophecy?

As I found myself cast adrift into uncertainty, one idea occurred to me, “What about the prophecies of the Bible? Surely they are proof... Read Chapter

How Do Secular Scholars View the Bible?

I decided that looking at the arguments from the other side was crucial. If I only trust Christian sources, then I am inherently biased. ... Read Chapter

On the Way Out

At some point I decided to start over from the position of agnosticism and just see what would happen if I approached all of these issues... Read Chapter

The Vision

While these things were going on, I was still contemplating spiritual experiences and Andrew Newberg’s book. One night while I was home... Read Chapter

A New Person Living in an Old Life

It’s hard to say the exact moment that I realized that I wasn’t a Christian anymore, but I remember that I started identifying as an ... Read Chapter

One Last Try

While I was getting things ready for me to leave the TV station, I started writing a deconversion story - a different version of the one ... Read Chapter

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