Unpredictable Gun

Unpredictable Gun

Is this for real or just a cruel joke?
My mind doesn't know how to take it.
I'm scared that it's all just mirrors and smoke.
You're telling me I'm going to make it?

The phone call came in at 11 o'clock
Telling me I had been spared.
Needless to say, it came as a shock.
I had wondered if God even cared.

You'd think I'd be over the moon with relief;
I thought I'd be feeling elated.
I find myself sitting in dark disbelief.
Anxiety is activated.

You see, there's a man with a gun.
It's aimed at the back of my head.
"Don't turn around and don't try to run;
I'm with you forever," he said.

"Wherever you go and whatever you do,
You'll never feel fully at peace.
You'll worry that I'll pull the trigger on you.
Your fear, it will never decrease."

So tell me how I am supposed to unwind.
I don't really feel like I've won.
I'm healthy today but the thing on my mind
Is that damn unpredictable gun.