Cancer survivors are often plagued with a fear of a recurrence of the disease

Unpredictable Gun

Is this for real or just a cruel joke?
My mind doesn't know how to take it.
I'm scared that it's all just mirrors and smoke.
You're telling me I'm going to make it?

The phone call came in at 11 o'clock
Telling me I had been spared.
Needless to say, it came as a shock.
I had wondered if God even cared.

You'd think I'd be over the moon with relief;
I thought I'd be feeling elated.
I find myself sitting in dark disbelief.
Anxiety is activated.

You see, there's a man with a gun.
It's aimed at the back of my head.
"Don't turn around and don't try to run;
I'm with you forever," he said.

"Wherever you go and whatever you do,
You'll never feel fully at peace.
You'll worry that I'll pull the trigger on you.
Your fear, it will never decrease."

So tell me how I am supposed to unwind.
I don't really feel like I've won.
I'm healthy today but the thing on my mind
Is that damn unpredictable gun.

Submitted: March 30, 2021

© Copyright 2022 Tammi Fitzpatrick. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:


Penny Scribe

Excellent poem Tammi. It seems to me that you have hit upon a topic that isn't given its due attention. I hope that the anxiety doesn't become worse than the cancer.

Tue, March 30th, 2021 5:07pm


Thank you. Yes, the public needs to be made more aware of the psychological impact of cancer on survivors. Thanks for reading.

Tue, March 30th, 2021 6:29pm


Wow, Tammi, this was perfect! So often the good news still leaves scars.

Thu, April 1st, 2021 7:13pm


Thanks very much.

Thu, April 1st, 2021 5:48pm

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