today

Reads: 34  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

this is a short story about how young women begin to see themselves from an early age based on the male idealogy of what women should be.

Today I woke up at 5 am not because I wanted to but because I had to work out. As I push myself to the limits at such an early time I begin to feel empowered with my body, that is until I scroll through social media and see all the other beautiful women online who my body looks nothing like. As I scroll for what feels like years I see the sun start to rise so I head back up to my room to only find myself looking in a mirror to see a body the resembles everything I hate about myself. As the time passes I shower so I don't smell and put on my makeup so I seem presentable. Not a lot so people can tell but enough to cover my real face. Because to be pretty I have to look like a model without trying, and appearing as natural as possible. As the time continues to pass I realize it is 7 am and I don't have much time left to get ready. I pick an outfit that shows off my body that I worked so hard to achieve and begin to feel proud of what I look like. I take a few pictures and post them. As I head downstairs I'm almost out of time to leave for school. I quickly grab a coffee so I feel more awake and then I grab an apple to eat healthy. Because to be pretty I can't weigh more than 115 but yet I can't seem to lose the last five pounds no matter what diet I try and no matter how much I work out those five pounds won't leave me. Before I leave my house I look at my post and all I see are comments calling me a "thot" and that I look like I am "asking for it". As I try not to cry so I don't mess up all the makeup I meticulously placed I stare at the ceiling so my mascara doesn't run down. As I finally calm myself I grab a long dark hoodie from the closet and head to my car. As I finally make it to school I begin to see all the other girls and how they look so put together and confident. I begin to hate myself and my body once again. So I throw my hair up in a bun and put up my hood as to not draw attention to me. As I enter the school I feel more relieved that no eyes are on me but yet I somehow feel like everyone is staring at me and talking about me. As I find my friends they look at my outfit and say how it is so much better because "I shouldn't wear something revealing if I want a man". As if I am not my own person but an object just to play dress up in hope for a man to "want me" as if I am some discounted produce just to be auctioned off to whomever without my consent. As I feel my worth go down the drain I can't find the energy to even try in my class. As we are put into groups the boys are making a list of the most attractive girls in the class. Every girl is listing unsure if they want to be on the list or not. Wondering with me what the guys think were worth. But the truth of the matter is even if we are attractive and we get to put on the list it takes away our worth and replaces it with an object the boys feel like they can catcall at will. As I hear them snicker while I pass in the halls I bring down my hoodie to cover my body in hopes they don't see anything they want. As I go to my next class all I want to do is cry and then I hear some guys saying they "wished I wore what I posted" as if I didn't hate my body enough and am constantly on the verge of tears. I am too conflicted on to wear what I want and get comments or wear what I think will keep me safe and get fewer comments but I don't want comments. I want to feel safe in whatever I want to wear. I want to feel like I am worth something. I want to go to school without the stress of getting dress coded for having holes in my jeans while Lane can go shirtless and not get a single comment. I want a day where I can walk to school without having a guy try and follow me and say disturbing things I hope no other woman has to hear. I want a day where I can be what I want to be without anyone else having an opinion. Cause all my life I was told I am a "strong independent woman" but the moment it comes down to it I am not. Because it's a man who starts the war. And it is a man who starts the violence. As I make my way home and turn on the news all they're talking about is a celebrity and not the thousands of women who die a year from a man just because they say "no". Because no man wants to say they are part of the problem but just say that we don't know how to accept a compliment. As the tears stroll down my face my little sister comes home. And as I see here I remind her that she is worth what she wants to be worth no matter what. I can't seem to be strong for myself but I can be strong for her. So I will be the woman she needs me to be so she can be better and stronger than I am. Cause I want to be worth so much more than what a man says I am. So that what I want her to remember me teaching her.


Submitted: March 30, 2021

© Copyright 2021 e.r.scolline. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:


Facebook Comments

More Other Short Stories

Other Content by e.r.scolline

Short Story / Other

Short Story / Other

Short Story / Other