I've Felt More Warmth From A Coke Machine

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


You tricked me into marrying you when I was drunk.
When I learned what happened, my ship was sunk.
You are vindictive, selfish, cold and mean.
I've felt more warmth from a Coke machine.
Out of all of the things I've done, marrying you is the only thing I regret.
You burned most of my clothes and you gave away my beloved pet.
One time you put arsenic in my milk and you smashed my valuable record collection.
You want me to make love to you but you are so cold that I can't get an erection.
You are the most horrible woman that I've ever seen.
You're very cold, I've felt more warmth from a Coke machine.
You lied to my brother and because of that, he almost died.
You told him that I hate his guts and he attempted suicide.
Out of all of the people I've ever met, you are the most offensive and obscene.
I'm going to divorce you because I've felt more warmth from a Coke machine.


Submitted: April 25, 2021

© Copyright 2021 RJohnson. All rights reserved.

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