Chapter 1: The Worst Day Ever, Part I

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Anime Fan Fiction

Reads: 115

Birds. There were a few of them, flying peacefully like the lucky bastards they were.

 

God damn I envied those birds.

But I wasn't watching them. Not now.

Not ever again.

 

Until I saw them again.

 

My stare was way too trained on that giant wall. The one that's supposed to protect us from those giant monsters and shit.

 

But

 

Now

 

My eyes widened, those stupid birds getting in the way of my beautiful beautiful eyes. My beautiful eyes were probably even prettier than usual, with the sunlight all on them and the sky and all that shit.

 

I saw it, finally emerging. Not the sun but what everyone was standing around for. Staring in horror, in shock, in fear. I heard Armin step back, a slight sound of fear being pulled into his mouth. The little sissy bitch. But I couldn't comment on it now.

 

To the right of the gate entrance, beginning to breach the top with its large, mitten hand.

 

Its face emerged. A human-like face, but more doll than human. Glossy, big eyes. A nose that would've been cute if it were on a normal sized thing.

 

What am I saying?

 

These things were monsters. The Telies. And this was the first one I've ever seen. We were totally fucked.

Beside me, I heard Armin speak, his voice ringing out amidst the town's deafening silence.

 

"And in that moment..." he said. "Everything changed."

 

I gritted my teeth, wanting to tell him to shut up. NO SHIT everything's changing! THERE'S A FUCKING TELIE BREACHING THE WALL WE GOTTA TAKE ACTION NOW!

 

I should probably back up. Give you a bit of backstory instead of continuing on with this very tense and very dramatic moment. Because that's what people like, isn't it? Yeah that's what I thought.

 

Okay so I live with my kind of not sister Mikasa. She's sorta lame but she follows me around like pretty much everywhere except when I take a shit; then she stands outside the bathroom. She's always wearing that scarf I gave her back when we were little kids. More little than we were now. But I'm totally tough and loudmouth so it makes up for my small size and small penis. But people still stare at me like I'm some stupid bug they wanna squish. It's probably cause I'm always yelling. But whatever. Sometimes Mikasa nods along with whatever shit I'm spewing about the Titans—I mean Telies, so that makes it okay.

 

Anyway, one day Mikasa and I were hanging out with Armin. He's really kind of annoying but his hair's nice so I keep him around. My posse is sorta hip, but that's only because I'm in it. The leader, I mean. It wouldn't be a posse if I was a part of it. Unless I was another person, in which case I would totally be a part of my own posse. Pussy. Cats. There's a cat walking by as we all sit against the wall. I hate cats. They're so fucking arrogant and shit.

 

"Hey, look at that cat!" Armin adds insult to his own stupidity by even pointing at it. IT'S RIGHT THERE ARMIN WE CAN ALL SEE IT.

 

I bite down my anger (I do that a lot with him) and pretend to notice the white piece of shit still trotting past us.

 

"Huh." I reply. "Oh yeah. There is."

 

I glance to Mikasa, wondering if that scarf is around her eyes, too. It's not; still around her mouth like some kind of ninja. That's sorta cool. I wish I was a ninja.

 

*Naruto flute theme plays*

 

"Hey, Eren."

 

I blink out of my own daydream, feeling Armin grab my shirt and pull me to my feet.

 

"Hey, Eren." he says again, AS IF I DIDNT HEAR HIM THE FIRST TIME. "Let's go see all the Survey Corps come back from their latest mission."

 

I run past him, suddenly feeling excited for the first time in today. First time today, I mean. Whatever. Grammer is stupid. I speed past Armin because he's always getting in my way and head down the small slope until I start to pass underneath a bridge.

 

Stupid Hannes is there, telling me to take some logs. Up yours, Hannes! I blow past him with my amazing speed, resisting the urge to flip the guy off because he's always so annoying. Mikasa's right beside me, which is nothing new. Sometimes I totally forget she's there; like when I sometimes spin around and swing my arms out too hard, hitting her in the face. Mouth. Her scarf usually blocks it, so maybe that's why she's always wearing that thing. Hand shield.

 

I suddenly trip. Mikasa doesn't catch me, only gasps through her scarf. She's probably smiling underneath it too the bitch. I drag myself up, angrier than ever. Which is saying a lot.

 

"WHO PUTS LOGS ON THE GROUND?!"

 

Armin finally catches up to us, wheezing as he bends over.

 

"They... Probably... Were..." GOD DAMMIT ARMIN JUST SPIT IT OUT. "Dropped..."

 

I barely hold back a groan. G'DUHHH Armin! Dammit I can't believe I wasted five seconds waiting for that explanation! I gotta go see the Scouts! I take off running, hearing Mikasa warn me again about the logs.

 

Whatever! Luckily I don't trip on anything and soon make it to the front entrance. All these people here... I can't see anything! I wish I was taller! AUGH IM SO ANGRY ABOUT MY HEIGHT

 

I climb onto a crate (not letting the embarrassment for my height show of course) and finally I can see past the heads of a few fat ladies. I hear Mikasa scramble up and stand behind me. Dammit her breath is right in my ear. It smells like the fish we had for lunch.

 

I lean away, one hand by my mouth and nose. I don't say anything of course. I always let my anger build up and release it when anyone mentions the word "Titans" I mean "Telies". Those big bellied bastards.

 

"Hey, look! They're back!"

 

I smile, hearing the familiar roll of carriage wheels. They WERE back! The Survey Corps ohmygodholyshit they—

 

Were injured. A lot of them. The smile dropped from my face, and I heard Mikasa's nasty breath stop in her throat. I said something, a question that never fully formed. Why... Why were all of them so hurt?

 

In front of me, I heard whispers.

 

"Back so soon? How can we keep affording to send people off to their deaths like this?"

 

"I know! I can't believe this is what we waste our money on!"

 

"Telies! I bet they don't even really exist! This is just a government ploy to get more of our money!"

 

Cheers answered that one. I was so angry I thought the vein on my face was gonna explode. Mikasa's hand was on my shoulder, but I roughly moved it away before jumping down from the crate.

 

"WHO SAID THAT? SHOW YOUR FACE, YOU COWARD?"

 

"What the... Is that a little kid?"

 

The crowd parted as I stormed through it, searching for that pig nosed ass wipe. I couldn't wait to punch him in his stupid face. Finally, I approached someone. His mustache was RIDICULOUS!

 

"Listen, kid..." he said, his voice only confirming that he was the stupid idiot. "This is grown up business. Don't you have a few sticks to play around with?"

 

"SHUT UP!" Wind suddenly blew my hair around, but I didn't mind. The effect just made me look cool, and even more angry. "HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT? AFTER ALL THEYVE BEEN THROUGH! ALL THEYVE SACRIFICED! YOURE NOTHING BUT A COWARD!??"

 

The guy turned back. He looked at the passing Survey Corps Members.

 

"Huh." he said. "Guess you're right."

 

"YOURE DAMN RIGHT IM RIGHT!" My fist drew back; I was still really angry and I needed to punch something. "AND IF YOU EVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN—"

 

A hand grabbed my fist, preventing it from swinging.

 

I turned, seeing Hannes bent down beside me.

 

"HANNES!" I yelled, oblivious to a few people covering their ears.

 

"Eren." he told me. "You need to calm down! You're giving everyone a headache!"

 

He released my hand. I tsked, looking away. Suddenly, I caught a pile of wooden logs as they were dropped into my arms.

 

"Here," Hannes was saying. "Some firewood. Hopefully it'll take the heat away from that hot head of yours!"

 

"Science doesn't work like that, Hannes."

 

He just laughed, his palm twisting against my hair. I scowled. The guy was such a tool.

 

"Eren!" OH GOD NOT HIM AGAIN.

 

"Yeah, Armin?" I ask calmly, turning to see him burst through the crowd. He landed on his feet and stumbled a bit, the klutz. Idiot.

 

"Eren!"

 

I grit my teeth. Just go to your happy place, Eren... I start thinking of rainbows. And ninjas. Yeah. That was good.

 

Armin stumbled up to me, arms windmilling a little as he bounced around on one foot.

 

"Did you see the Survey Corps?" he asked.

 

"Uh," I look around, realizing they had already passed by. GOD DAMMIT ARMIN! "No! They're already gone!"

 

"Well, that's all right!" Hannes says, putting both hands on his hips. He was pissed drunk; his breath reeked like the same beer my mom drank. "They'll come back. They always do!"

 

"No they don't!" A voice from the crowd rang out, and distantly I saw a fist waving in the air. "Didn't you see that really dramatic moment with that lady and her son's arm?"

 

"EWW GROSS!" I screamed. Hannes put his hand on my head again.

 

"Eren! For God's sake child, calm down! If you're gonna be as brave as you say you are, a few dismembered limbs should be nothing!"

 

"Whatever, Hannes!" I stepped away, still carrying the firewood in my arms. I felt splinters dig into my skin, which just made me angrier. I didn't let it show, though! Not yet!

 

I sped off to my parents house, and my mom started raggin me as soon as I walked in. I ignored her because I'm so cool, and dumped the firewood in the box. Dumping wood into more wood. God humans are stupid. Why can't I be a Telie instead

 

Uh

 

I mean

 

My mom's voice grew louder, and the next thing I knew she was grabbing my ear. I fought her on whatever crap she was spewing because who needs mothers God

 

We all sat down to eat lunch or whatever and I just noticed Mikasa was here. Whatthehell when did she get here? Fucking ninjas...

 

She had pulled down her scarf to eat the soup, and I noticed a little bit of food on the fabric. Gross. Maybe it wasn't her breath I was smelling earlier; maybe it was the scarf she never fucking washes!

 

I shudder and look back down to my meal. Ugh we had stew yesterday... And the day before... And the day before... I wondered if this was from the same pot as last week. Fuck we're poor

 

"Eren."

 

I suddenly panic, swearing I heard Armin's voice say my name. He's always around, waiting at every corner...

 

Surprisingly enough, I see the eyes of my parents and Mikasa on me. I scowl. My mom's eyes are totally hollow and shadowy lookin, like a freaking weirdo. God what is her deal?

 

My dad slurps his soup like he's trying to pull in his last breath. He exhales: "Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

 

His spoon is set down on the rim of his bowl, and finally he continues on with what he was saying before.

 

"What's this I hear about you wanting to join the Scouts?"

 

"Uh." My eyes grow wide. I turn away, getting angrier. It shows in my voice but just a little. "So what? Would you rather I just sit here and wait to die?"

 

"Sure why not."

 

I look at him, hurt. My mom scolds him in a shout. Dad puts one hand up, defensive.

 

"Oh, please, I'm just joking." He turns to me, glasses reflecting off sunlight. "Eren, don't be an idiot."

 

"Wha-"

 

"EREN!"

 

Okay, that time was DEFINITELY Armin! The door bursts open, and we all turn to see him standing there. His face looks awful, and instantly I know he's been beat up. I let the hate flow through me, imagining my fist punching the face of a Telie.

 

"Armin..." Mikasa's voice, a little muffled through her scarf. She had pulled it up when we all started fighting; probably to hide a grin, the bitch. "Your face... It looks..."

 

"SO much better!" My mom flaps a wrist. "You have GOT to tell me what you've been doing! Your pores look GREAT!"

 

With one swollen eye and a bloodied mouth open in subtle disbelief, Armin just stares at her.

 

"Carla, don't be an idiot." My Dad gets up, the chair moving loudly. Ugh I hate our chairs.

 

"Yes, dear."

 

Dad's briefcase is in his hand, and I watch it swing as he moves towards the front door.

 

"Hey, Dad," I begin. "Where're you going?"

 

"Keep your nose out of my work life, Eren."

 

"Um, y-yes, sir..."

 

"But Eren..."

 

I look up, seeing him push past Armin like he wasn't even there. My Dad stands in the doorway, turning to me as he picks up the string around his neck, revealing a key.

 

"Don't let your mom die and I'll let you in on what I've been doing in the cellar."

 

I smiled, my grin wide. Okay! Easy enough, right?

 

God I was so wrong.

 

Like

 

So

 

So wrong

 

Shit

 

My beautiful eyes widen, seeing the Telie rear its head over the wall. Life comes back into my feet and I bolt away, hearing Armin screech like a fucking banshee at me. GOD I HOPE HE GETS EATEN

 

I run to our house, telling myself it'll still be there. Everyone will still be there; Mom, the soup. Whatever other furniture we have. It'll still be there, IT HAS TO.

 

I turn the corner to see everything I called home collapsed. My feet almost stutter to a stop but I force myself to keep running. I see my mom, trying to pull her leg out from the house.

 

"EREN!" She extends a hand to me.

 

"MOM!"

 

"MIKASA!"

 

I get confused for a second but then I turned around to look behind myself. Mikasa is there, and slowly she lowers the knife she had raised. The blade reflects off the setting sunlight, slowly being hid behind her back.

 

"Mikasa, this is no time for Murder Games!" I tell her. "We gotta get Mom out from under the house."

 

My mom tries to laugh, flapping a wrist. "Oh, don't worry about me. Just give me that knife, Mikasa, I'll cut my foot off and we can all get out of here."

 

"No!" I try to lift the edge of the house. "Mikasa, help me lift this!"

 

She drops the knife and tries to help me. But dammit we're still way too weak! AUGH IF ONLY I COULD CONVERT ANGER INTO PHYSICAL STRENGTH FUCK

 

I hear my mom straining to reach the knife. She's leaning forward, really trying to reach it.

 

"Mom," I heave once more. "Just stop! Mikasa and I can save your leg!"

 

"Eren, don't be an idiot!" She yells at me, and my entire existence flashes before my eyes, filled with every time she's said those exact words. My birth, my first day of school, one hour ago when we were finished eating that meal.

 

Ugh Moms were awful. But they're better when they have two legs I CAN'T LIFT THIS HOUSE

 

I keep trying and then I hear someone zip down behind us.

 

"Hannes!"

 

I turn and look, listening to my mom talk about cutting her leg off again. Hannes hitches a thumb towards himself, keeping one hand on his hip.

 

"No need!" he declares. "I'm a trained specialist! My duties include saving life and KICKIN ASS!"

 

He bounds off, headed towards the Telie that I forgot to mention was coming towards us. I keep trying to lift the house, ignoring my mother's screams at Hannes. I hear the Telie's steps getting closer, and briefly wonder if my many wishes about Hannes dying came true.

 

I regretted them, a little bit. I didn't want him to die NOW. My mom was still trapped underneath this house with no way to get out!

 

"EREN JUST GIVE ME THE KNIFE!"

 

"Alright, kids, let's go!" Hannes is scooping me up, and I'm riding on his shoulder. I can smell Mikasa on his opposite side but all my focus is trained on the image of my mother getting further away.

 

She's reaching a hand out to me, tears pouring from her eyes.

 

"DONT BE AN IDIOT, EREN!"

 

"MOM!" I reach my arm out as well, as if I could somehow take her hand in mine.

 

I have to watch in horror as the Telie approaches. It's a yellow one. The weird antenna on its head boings as it bends down, grabbing my mom with one mitten hand. She's screaming, some of the foulest words I've ever hear igniting from her mouth. Like... These were curses that sounded awful but didn't even make any SENSE.

 

"FUCKIN SHIT BITCH CAP'N CRUNCH NUGGET ASSHOLE MOTHER—"

 

She's hitting the Telie too, but the brainless beast doesn't do anything. It only raises her to its mouth, teeth parting wide. Its head tilts back, hand dangling her a few feet above its oral gorge.

 

"T-Turn me around!" I tell Hannes. My elbow keeps striking backwards, ramming him in the head. "TURN ME THE FUCK AROUND, HANNES!"

 

"WE CANT, EREN! IM SORRY YOUR MOTHER'S GONE!"

 

She drops into the Telie's mouth. Its teeth clamp down, stopping at her leg.

 

The same one that she had been trying to get out from under the house. I scream, my voice wild with pain. My... My mother... MY MOM!

 

The Telie draws her leg out from between its lips like it's eating shrimp. I can't look away, and I watch as her leg gets devoured along with the rest of her.

 

I keep hitting Hannes' head, and the next thing I know I'm suddenly on the ground. He's fallen down, and he's not getting up. Mikasa scrambles to her knees, looking at me like I'm supposed to know what to do. Shove off, Mikasa!

 

I stare back for a moment, just as scared as her. I look to Hannes, and when he doesn't move, I slide my foot towards him. The tip of my shoe pokes against his head.

 

His face lifts, a deep breath moving into him.

 

"Okay sorry about that kids just had a minor concussion!"

 

We're moving again, carried by his dumb arms. I can't get out. What good would it do, anyway? I can't fight back... At least not yet...

 

NOT YET


Submitted: May 02, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Meaghan Kalena. All rights reserved.

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