Chapter 1: The First and Last Chapter.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 73

Hi, my name is ********** and I want to die. You may ask why you may even feel bad or hug me but in my world, that kind of stuff doesn’t exist. You see I’m an 8th grader who goes to ********** middle school and right now in a pandemic. Now before the Pandemic, I never even considered dying or killing myself and basically laughed or said that’s stupid at the people and kids’ teens who had killed themselves. Well as you can guess I’m not really laughing at them know there is a saying you must first experience it to fully understand it and I guess that happened with me. You see my family is on 2 sides my dad and the rest of my family now my dad is a really bad person no he isn’t abusive at least I don’t think no he isn’t a drug addict or something like that he actually goes to church. But his personality his choices in life the actions he does are really bad. And because my dad owns a limousine driving company he is almost never home. It’s been like this since I was 4, I can still remember me crying because he left to go to work in the middle of the night and I wanted to say bye and if I knew everything about him, I would probably be partying that he left. You see they say depression and suicidal thoughts come from a very bad experience or even a family member dying seeing someone die or something of that caliber and for me that’s what happened. I remember the fate full night my mom was going through my dads pocket probably looking for some cash then when he came home I told him they went into an argument and my dad hit my mom on the head to this day she still says it hurts. Now he doesn’t do that anymore honestly I think its because of his age and how long he has barreled through their lives together they don’t even care if he was 40 I would definitely something bad would of happened and did I mention he Is diabetic and has to take these pills everyday honestly it’s a miracle he is still alive with the amount he has to take. Any way so yea for about 5 something years until I was 12 or 13, I thought it was my fault. I always blamed myself that they were like this but being a dumb kid I didn’t necessarily understand to actually feel depressed. But as I got older, I started to learn about life death and what it really is. Now at 13 years old my mom randomly sat down and told me they were fighting long before I was born, I don’t know why she just said It I don’t think she realized what I have been thinking for years. Sure, the news helped but also sadden me to think even before they always argued. Then she went on to tell me a story of how she was pregnant, and she ordered pizza then my dad saw and made let’s call them John and Cathy my god fathers’ son and daughters invited them to eat not leaving enough for my mom and she told me how she cried after that. I could go on and on about every mistake my dad made as if I am listing every Pokémon in the Pokémon universe, but it would only sadden me. But yea I take comfort in watching anime romance books movies of all kinds and because of that, it has turned into an uncontrollable addiction. And I guess the fact that I am overweight doesn’t help. And I am happy sometimes laughing with my mom but now I feel something in my heart or stomach that makes me sad. With all of this I want to be free I want to die to go on to the next life then I think about if there even is a Heaven or Hell then I think you just disappear. Fear crawls to my mind but quickly fades as all my oblivious but important thoughts do, I thought that’s fine just disappearing I had my fun. Yet going back to the anime books and stuff about romance Is what is driving me forward hoping someday there will be a guy or girl I can talk to this about instead of aimlessly writing it in these short story things hoping to be a little less sad. But yea that’s my story they say life is a canvas and as you go on it is filled with art and paint well my drawing isn’t over just yet.


Submitted: May 04, 2021

© Copyright 2021 PrinceEstavon12. All rights reserved.

Chapters

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:


Facebook Comments

More True Confessions Books

Other Content by PrinceEstavon12