Know when to walk away

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


 

Have you ever been in this situation?

Someone you have been seeing askes you to do something you would never do, something weird and totally over the line?

 No? only me? That figures.

This happened to me once with a guy I had only seen a handful of times. Basically, I was asked to do something no chick would ever say yes to. (Well, at least not without an exorbitant amount of cash paid to pad the mortification)

Anyway, after he made the shocking request, I just for a split second, sat and stared.

 Then an incredulous and disbelieving statement of “What?” followed by an immediate and annoyed “forget it!”

 At which point I stood, grabbed my bag, and quickly walked off.

 He was Never to be seen or heard of again.

Good riddance.

 

“Boy, that could have been worse.” “Good thing I got out of that when I did.”

But did I really?

At the time I thought he was a freak, that his request was legitimate, and I had gotten away in the nick of time, with my dignity and sanctimonious morals in-tact. (ha-ha, at least this time, anyway. Damn it felt good)

I told my girlfriends all about it in my funny slash dramatic way. An amusing anecdote over cocktails inciting a little compassion and a lot of laughter. They agreed he was a creep, and I was in the right to walk away.

 

Then came a day, long after the incident and after numerous telling’s of the story, that it dawned on me. I may have believed the wrong thing about him. Oh, he is still a creep, that’s for sure but… was he really into weird fetish crap or was it just the easiest, no mess way to get rid of me?

Huh?

There is very slim chance it could have turned out any other way. Most women would have done what I did and walked away.

The more I think about it the more I see the genius behind it. I wonder what it would be like if women adopted a similar attitude. If we wanted to dump someone, we will become all Kate Hudson in “how to lose a guy” and he’ll just walk away.

Wait, that already happens.

There have been whole movies dedicated to why being a needy nester doesn’t get the guy. There was even a book, sometime around when I started seeing Hotty-Scotty, about whether he might not be that into me. (I read it, standing between the bookstore shelves, there was no way I was going to buy it, and admit HottyScotty might not dig me)

When I think about it (which I try not to do too often) I can remember the agonizingly stupid things I have done and said and somehow still got the guy while adversely I have said and done all the so-called right things and he still dumps me. I am looking for logic and reason, and where love and lust is concerned, there is none.

So, this is what it comes down to: (and I think I can say this because I am both old and have been in lot of relationships; “When you have been both the dumper and the dumpee as many times as I have you learn a thing or two.)

  1. It is never about you.  The dumper is only ever doing what is good for them. In the long run it is generally good for you too but, the decision is almost always determined by how the dumper feels.
  2. The dumpee always feels like a victim. It hurts like hell to know the person you love doesn’t want you. Hell, who am I kidding, rejection always hurts. Your ego gets bruised even when you, yourself have been thinking of ending the relationship with them as well. They just got there sooner.
  3. Eventually you become tired of romance. I don’t mean the romance of everyday beauty (I will never tire of that) I mean the thrill and excitement of the meet. The fantasy and the lust. (I now prefer comfort, stability, and companionship more then drama in my relationships)
  4. When you are young there is an attractiveness about you physically but emotionally there is a restlessness and an unfulfillment that leaves you unable to enjoy yourself. Then age comes, and with it, a self acceptance, an understanding allowing you to relax and enjoy yourself. One problem, this older body has become not quite as desirable. Oh well, it is either beauty with no reward or reward with out beauty. I think I’ll take the latter with some extra face cream and a super sonic bra on the side.

 

The point is… well I guess there is no point. He probably tells his friends about his clever trick to get rid of women in an anecdotal way which prompts laughter and admiration. In the same way I tell a story about a freaky loser and his weird request that sent me racing away. My side of the story also prompts laughter and admiration.

I have wondered if he remember me.

Maybe I am in the middle of a long line of flings blurring us together.

I do remember him, but only a little, I know we had chemistry but did not agree politically. I remember not wanting my family to meet him nor did I tell him of them. (anyone who knows me knows I love telling tales about Orton) so obviously was not that attached to him, and he probably didn’t need a line to get rid of me.

It was exciting while it lasted. Plus, I got a great story out of it.

I started dating HottyScotty soon after which proves getting dumped was good for me. Turns out Hotty did dig me. I can tell you this: if HottyScotty and I ever broke up it would tear me to pieces because I stupid love that guy. (I say stupid becuse I would probably do and say any number of idiotic things to keep him around)However, I also know that, if need be, I would survive.

Maybe that is the point of being dumped, to understand that you are only human not a victim and rejection sucks for everyone. Also, your ex is not suddenly your adversary. The breakup is not out of maliciousness, just the decision of an individual life to move on.

You got to know when to walk away and know when to persevere.

 

- (you thought I was going to say run…lol sometimes you do gotta run…but only when the law is chasing you,(-or the wife. I swear I didnt know!) and for gods sake don’t look back! – that always slows you down.)


Submitted: May 06, 2021

© Copyright 2021 p.a.m. All rights reserved.

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