Bumpy Wheel

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

A man is obsessed with perfectly round wheels.

As always, I grabbed the wrong grocery cart and went bump-bumpity down the aisle.

Maybe there's a wad of gum or something stuck to a wheel.

I bent down to see.

A jelly bean! For goodness sake! The prices Piggly Wiggly charges, you'd think they could keep the jelly beans off the floor!

I cleaned the sticky mess from the wheel with my finger and proceeded on.

Bump-bump, Bump-bump.

Now, what?

I bent down to examine the infernal wheels.

A flat spot! How in the world do grocery carts get flat spots on their wheels?

Spinning the left rear wheel and despising its flatness, I saw a flip-flopped foot with pink-polished toenails just inches from my nose.

"Excuse me." said the foot's presumed owner.

I mumbled something about being sorry and tried to scoot over.

"I'm sorry, sir; I just need to reach over you and get to the canned tomatoes."

Curses! Can't a guy fix his wheel?

What was the use? I stood up and sped off toward the cart corral.

I'll just get another damned cart!

Moments later, I pushed a smooth-rolling cart through the store. Ahhh, contentment at last. My teeth unclenched and all was well.

Now, for those hotdogs and TV dinners.

I found the frozen foods and stood with lasagna in one hand and spaghetti with meat sauce in the other.

Hmm. This lasagna has a lot of cheese, but not much meat. This spaghetti has meat--well, it looks like meat--and no cheese.

In my confusion, I dropped the lasagna. As I reached down for it, I saw that foot again. Two of them, actually; both in flip-flops, with pink-polished toenails. I knew they needed room and squeezed myself  over.

" I'm sorry, again. If you'll just move your cart back a little so I can get to the frozen vegetables."

Good grief! Am I being punished for getting a smooth-rolling cart?  

I stood up and moved out of her way. She must've noticed my frozen food choices and said, "Craving Italian, are we?"

I had no choice but to look my tormentor in the face and reply. "Uh, yeah."

God, is this Trish? She's my big "if"! Thirty years ago, we went on one date together and I was afraid to even hold her hand because she was so pretty! Oh, man, she's still a knockout!

 Her big brown eyes caught mine and held them.

"Do I know you?" she asked.

The scared teen in me grunted, "I think so."

"Are you Buddy White, the one who drove that '55 Ford with whitewall tires and baby moon hubcaps?"

I forced open my throat and replied, "Yeah, that's me."

Trish and I rolled our carts together down Piggly Wiggly aisles while catching up on old times. After checkout, we went to her car and I loaded her groceries. We were both single again, and I really wanted to ask her out.

I told her, "Well, it sure is nice seeing you again."

She smiled and replied, "It's nice seeing you, too."

Things became awkward. The scaredy-cat in me wanted to run, but wheel-man stalled for time. I bent down low to eye her tires.

"You know, this left rear tire is wearing unevenly. My friend has a tire shop and I could...."

Trish put her hand on my shoulder and said, "I'm making Italian tonight. Would you like to come over?"

It was a tough decision. "Why...yes, yes, of course!"

On the way back to my apartment, I may have hit a pothole and dented a rim. It bumps like hell, but who cares? I'll fix it Monday. Or maybe Tuesday.

 

 


Submitted: May 10, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Samuel Dickens. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Criss Sole

Yay! It's a date! Hehehehe.
Looks like there are much more important things than bumpy wheels. Could not help but smile.
Great story!

Thu, May 13th, 2021 7:36am

Author
Reply

Thank you, Criss. I'm so glad it made you smile.

Thu, May 13th, 2021 4:06am

Texasjane

Very cute and spontaneous. I enjoyed every bumpy turn of the wheel.

Sun, June 6th, 2021 3:00pm

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