Intoxicated With the Sense and Senibilities of My Memories

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic

For the past several years it seemed that I was lost in a dream, wondering endlessly through the corridors of time, glimpsing images in mirrors of unremembered faces and places, and feeling the stress, anxiety and even fear of words and tweets and conduct unbecoming.

INTOXICATED WITH THE SENSE AND SENSIBILITIES OF MY MEMORIES

By Al Garcia

For the past several years it seemed that I was lost in a dream, wondering endlessly through the corridors of time, glimpsing images in mirrors of unremembered faces and places, and feeling the stress, anxiety and even fear of words and tweets and conduct unbecoming.  Have you ever felt the coldness of a stare or an unwanted glance that told you more than words could ever say?  Have you ever felt alone in the middle of a crowd and wondered why no one seemed to care?  For the past several years I have been living through eclipsing vestiges of life betrayed and life revealed through glimpses of reality and fantasy.  I saw the revelation of our existence, disguised in dreams and visions of yesterdays and tomorrows, separated by the reality of today.  And through the years that have displaced the normalcy of my simple life, I felt intoxicated with the sense and sensibilities of my memories.

It is the senselessness of greed displayed, corruption revealed, and arrogance exposed, that captures lonely hearts and fractured minds and extinguishes the brilliance of the human soul and smothers the resonance and breath of unlived dreams.  In the year just gone I saw the madness of the human mind that stained the sensation and the passion that once defined the essence of our being, and shattered the legacy of courage and resolve that for centuries had met the challenges, ordeals and hardships of a nation and a people.  

When once we cherished the memories of our lives, we now dread the visions, the sounds and the threatened actions that the chaos and disruption that the last few months has etched upon our minds.  And we find ourselves lost, as if in a dream -- wondering endlessly through the corridors of time, until the senselessness and madness finally drains our exhausted minds, and finally takes our breath away.

I am living through the greatest test of our existence, and I am wounded by the lack of sense and sensibilities by so many, for the blood and tears already shed, and for the men and women who never asked the reason why, but simply marched into the shadows and darkened fields of war -- some to die upon a battlefield, others to return and live a thousand days of death inside their fragile and brittle minds, and all to keep alive the beating heart of a nation of pioneers, dreamers and visionaries, in the land of the brave and the free. 

Today I find myself intoxicated with the sense and sensibilities of my memories.  Another year has begun, and I find myself lost in a dream, or is it a nightmare?  My mind and my emotions wonder endlessly through the corridors of time, glimpsing images in mirrors of unremembered faces and places, listening to slogans and nonstop meaningless rhetoric and lies that stoke the flames of hate and of division, through words, ideas, false promises, distortions and distractions.  This time, the enemy is not camouflaged behind bamboo or iron curtains that once divided our humanity.  This time, the enemy is not roaming the deserts or jungles of far-off lands, or entrenched along the shores of forgotten beaches or abandoned battlefields.  This time, the enemy is cloaked by the diabolical and demonic rantings of abhorrent minds, and enabled and empowered by frenzied and imprudent minions, desperate to belong, anxious to be led, and willing to bow down on bended knees.

Have you ever felt the coldness of a stare or an unwanted glance that told you more than words could ever say?  Have you ever felt alone in the middle of a crowd and wondered why no one seemed to care?  That is how I felt in my America yesterday, before the dawning of this new year.  It was a never before felt numbness and detachment within me at seeing the eclipsing vestiges of life betrayed and the ugliness of life revealed through glimpses of unreality, fantasies, conspiracies, exaggerated truths and unrestrained lies.  It was the revelation of seeing the faltering flame of hope fluttering and flickering in the wind.  It was witnessing a nation on the brink of madness and lunacy.  Yet, it was the sense and sensibilities of my memories of years past that kept alive my hope, my faith and my courage to believe in 2021. 

I am intoxicated with the possibilities that this new year brings.  I have lived through oppression, depression and war, and it is a hard feeling and sensation to explain.  However, hearing the blatant and unconcealed voices of animosity and distrust by those who have betrayed their American heritage and their courageous and noble legacy, far exceeds the senselessness and hopelessness of oppression, depression and war that I have felt and lived.  These new and foreign seditious and traitorous sounds I hear extinguish the brilliance of the human soul, and smothers the resonance and breath of unlived dreams, and the promise of our destiny. 

How can anyone support the very enemy that we have feared and fought against since the inception of our great nation?  Today, the enemy looks like us – because they are our neighbors, our friends, our brothers, our sisters, and the strangers that we see and hear each day.  They do not think about America like us -- they do not feel about America like us -- nor do they believe in America like us.  They are the enemy within, an enemy that has betrayed the best of who we were and are, and an enemy that has deceived and deluded the great treasures of our past, and is determined to extinguish the light and the passion that was America.

I am intoxicated with the sense and sensibility of my memories of America’s nobility, dignity, and decency.  I am filled with hope and optimism that 2021 will bring our nation together, and unshackle us from the obscenity of festering hate, bigotry and injustice.

The dawning of a new year and a new Administration promises the restoration and the preservation of our one nation under God, and the bringing together of our rainbow coalition of native Americans and immigrants from around the world, all seeking to breathe free and live the American Dream.

Let us embrace this new beginning, and let us hear the voice of freedom ring, and let us listen to the rhythm and the harmony of a nation united -- a nation unshackled from the uncertainty and insecurity of betrayal or denial.  Let us pass forward freedom’s torch, unfettered by ego, arrogance or greed, but highlighted by the eloquence of our democracy.


Submitted: May 23, 2021

© Copyright 2021 A.Garcia. All rights reserved.

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