Lost Hope

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

There is a sense of abandonment and surrender that assaults the human heart and soul in times of great despair and profound sorrow and regret.

LOST HOPE

By Al Garcia

There is a sense of abandonment and surrender that assaults the human heart and soul in times of great despair and profound sorrow and regret. 

There is a sense of unfinished and discarded dreams, and an awareness of surrendered moments that will never come to be.  There is a hollowness that invades the whole of me, and betrays the potency and passion that bound and kept alive the spirit and the force that made the days complete, with the brilliant hues and shades and tints that defined the singular sensation that gave us reason to believe in our gentleness and decency, founded of humility and of hope.

There is an unmistakable perception and outright accession of having lost hope in the midst of the black and gray shadows that suddenly distort the harmony and the symmetry of life as it used to be. 

There is an emptiness that overwhelms me when I hear the pomposity of simulated patriotism uttered by those who are determined to see us fail, where once there was a shared heart and a blended spirit that completed and filled the very core of who we were.  And a despondency settles into the very depth of me that outlasts the tears that flow and the fears that overwhelm my fragile and battered mind.  It is at times like this when lost hope overpowers me and dismays me.

These are the feelings, sensations and emotions that overtake and consume the grieving and plaintive mind of an ordinary man like me, who endured the indignities of living as a young brown man, and the dishonor of having seen and felt the consequences of war.  These are the symptoms of having shared a moment or a lifetime believing and helping to keep alive the American Dream, whether at home, or in service to our country. 

It is in having felt the sorrow and the pain of loss, and in having endured the exhaustion of our daily struggles both at home and on a battlefield, that I find myself overwhelmed with emotion at the deftness of the far Right extremists, to garner the potent and profound national obsession and partisan passions that have ensnarled and entangled our focus and attention on the worst tendencies of our humanity, instead of helping us look upward and onward, toward appreciating and valuing the best of our better selves.  This moment in our history has refocused the conscience of many of us, as individuals, and as it should as a nation, on the humility and humanity of the true American dream – to share and to care, to listen to the voice of the people, to respect the vote, and to embrace the judgment and final degree of “we the people.”

We have lost sight of our greatness and the simplicity of maintaining and sustaining that coveted designation that had for centuries defined us and explained us – leader of the free world, and the voice and face of the free and the brave. 

It is the loss of our innocence and the betrayal of our nobility that has tarnished and diminished us.  We were the spark that once ignited passion and hope at home and around the world.  Today, we are nothing more than a candle blowing in the wind, its flame flickering and quivering, with too many deceiving patriots waiting and wanting to blow out the flame.

I have lost hope, despite the fact that I still have the glowing embers of our heritage and our legacy to keep me warm, during these cold and hostile times. 


Submitted: May 24, 2021

© Copyright 2021 A.Garcia. All rights reserved.

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