The Exhaustion of Living

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic

Mental exhaustion and cynicism shadow my waking days, while nightmares of unexpected brutal mortality shroud my nights. I am a hostage in a world gone mad. I am surrounded by the profanity of doubt, of arrogance and greed, and the vulgarity of lies and betrayal.

THE EXHAUSTION OF LIVING

By Al Garcia

Mental exhaustion and cynicism shadow my waking days, while nightmares of unexpected brutal mortality shroud my nights.  I am a hostage in a world gone mad.  I am surrounded by the profanity of doubt, of arrogance and greed, and the vulgarity of lies and betrayal.  When once I looked up and saw the beauty of the blue expanse of sky, I now see only the darkening clouds of uncertainty, and the chaos engulfing the whirling winds of change around me.  Life around me moving and shifting faster than the beating of my heart. 

When once I looked upon my life as filled with serenity, and a sense of mellowness, the days now filled with despair, heartache and disillusionment.  Gone are the days of expectation and anticipation.  Instead, there is now a loneliness that has consumed me and exhausted me. 

My exhaustion and cynicism has drained my body and my mind.  The very essence of the spirit that used to flow within, now bleeds and cries in agony, as each passing day continues to take away the hope that used to keep alive my dream.  Each day now testing my resolve and challenging my faith, with trials and tribulations heaped upon the fragile core of me, that have sapped the very energy of me, and left an emptiness where once there was a soul. 

The symptoms of the exhaustion of living are simple:  a willingness to ignore the obvious, an inclination to listen and believe the outlandish and bizarre, and a readiness to allow others to manipulate and control you. 

Yet, the exhaustion of living is not always incurable or fatal, nor does it fully take away the will to be, and the instinctual human yearning to endure.  So, I guess I’m one of the lucky ones.  For I still use commonsense, I search for the truth and believe in facts, and I still control and command my own destiny through nobility, humility and faith.  Guess I’ll be here for a bit longer, despite feeling the exhaustion of living.


Submitted: May 25, 2021

© Copyright 2021 A.Garcia. All rights reserved.

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