I Love You, Cleo Jones

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Eabha loves Cleo, Cleo doesn't know. Eabha hates feeling this way and is afraid to tell Cleo.

Eabha shakily ran a hand through her short, silver hair, a soft, almost inaudible sigh leaving her barely parted lips. She stood in front of her mirror, a small silver razor blade resting between her long, slender fingers, her eyes locked on the eyeliner and mascara running down her face from crying. The music in the background drowned out the voices in her head briefly, but not enough for her to feel settled. 'I'm not lesbian... I'm not a lesbian,' she thought, shakily dragging the blade over her wrist to create a slight cut, only a couple of millimeters deep and a few centimeters long. But it hurt like a bitch and Eabha loved that pain. It distracted her mind from the thoughts. 'I like men.' Once again, the small silver blade trailed over her pale wrist, small drips of crimson red blood sliding down her skin and landing in the sink. This cut was slightly deeper and not as long. She stared at herself in the mirror, focusing on the streaks of eyeliner running down her reddened cheeks and the blue grey of her own eyes. She didn't speak. She couldn't. Her train of thought never once drifted from the name in her mind. Cleo. Over and over again she thought of her. Her curly hair, her caramel-colored skin, and golden-brown eyes. Her tall, slim body, soft, smooth hands. She thought of every detail of her face and her body, her eyes filling with tears again. No, I'm not a lesbian. I'm not gay. I don't like females. She ran a hand through her hair again, watching her makeup run down her cheeks. Her mind wandered back to when she first met Cleo. She was so kind, so sweet on Eabha's first day. 'Hi, I'm Cleo, you must be new here,' her smooth voice rang in her mind. Eabha knew from then on, they would be the best of friends. And they were – are – but she often found herself wondering if Cleo felt the same. She thought back again to the day she and Cleo hung out and Cleo came out as bisexual. Something in Eabha had clicked and it was at that moment she knew she was lesbian. No wonder she never fell for guys. She smiled sadly in the mirror and wiped the blood away with her shaking hand.

Cleo smiled softly and ran a hand through her hair, watching Eabha mess around with the puppy she had adopted. Eabha looked so happy; despite the internal battle she was dealing with.

Eabha smiled at the memory, then thought back to the day Cleo told her she had come out to her parents. She remembered their entire conversation as if it had happened yesterday when it had actually happened a little over a year ago. Her eyes welled with tears once again, her thoughts drifting from her good memories with Cleo to the horrible memories of her parents threatening her. The day she had cut her hair, her parents had threatened to kill her and make it look like suicide if she were to ever come out as lgbt+ or said she supported that community. She had started ignoring the sinful thoughts she had of Cleo, the memories they had made when they hung out doing stupid shit, absolutely everything. Until Cleo had said that she was glad they met. Eabha was glad they met too, but she couldn't help but feel that her friendship would get her into trouble. The short-haired girl stared at herself in the mirror, once again focusing on her own cloudy eyes. Taking a deep breath, Eabha closed her eyes and started thinking to herself again. 'Maybe I am a lesbian. Maybe I do love Cleo.' Her breath shaking, she slowly placed the blade down and began cleaning her wrist up, no longer feeling the need to hide her true feelings. So what if she was a lesbian? She was who she wanted to be. She loved Cleo and she wanted the dark-haired teen to know. She forced back negative thoughts of her parents and their reactions, and slowly opened her eyes. She stared at her tear-stained cheeks, the blood in the sink and on her hands. Without hesitation, she wandered off to her bed, picked up her phone and unlocked it. She opened Cleo's contact and sent a single text message.

'I love you, Cleo Jones.'

 


Submitted: May 28, 2021

© Copyright 2021 j.j.l.oswald. All rights reserved.

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