Today Came

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

Today came, and the despair, fear and anxiety of yesterday, was still here. And nothing seems to have changed from yesterday


By Al Garcia

Today came, and the despair, fear and anxiety of yesterday, was still here.  And nothing seems to have changed from yesterday

The only thing that seems to have moved forward and onward, is the continuing effort by some to dismantle the democracy that used to blossom and flourish around me.  And it makes today bleak and dismal, despite the rays of sun that find their way through the gloom and doom that lurks behind the fabricated lies and red-tainted propaganda that has now tainted our White House – the People’s House. 

Today, I feel more diminished and devalued than I have ever felt.  Even more so than having grown up in the Valley during its darkest days of bigotry, segregation and injustice for brown-skinned American citizens like myself. 

I acknowledge that these are changing times -- times that have betrayed the legacy of our ancestry and of our patriotism toward a once embracing nation, and its once astonishing ideals that bolstered and defended the humanity that exemplified the best of our nature and our potential, regardless of color, creed or ethnicity. 

I now see around me a return to our basic instincts – survival of the fittest, survival of the strongest, the richest, the cruelest, the heartless, and those camouflaged and cloaked in false faith -- without consideration of color, creed or ethnicity, at least for now.  At least until the normalcy is completely and totally demolished and destroyed, and then the bigotry, segregation and injustice will rise its ugly and evil head again, and the cycle will begin again.

As an American-Mexican, what riles me the most is seeing and hearing my own kind turn their backs on their heritage, their roots, and their history.  They have abandoned the teachings, the tradition, and the wisdom of their parents and grandparents, and the long painful struggles they endured to give their children and grandchildren – you and I – a future in the land of the free and the brave.  And now, too many of my brown brothers and sisters who share the same heritage and legacy, have betrayed their greatest legacy –  empathy, and the willingness to give and to pay forward to others, a chance to strive and thrive, and live free and feel safe and secure.

Instead, I am confronted with an arrogance and superiority that I saw growing up in the 1940s-1960s along the Rio Grande – the arrogance and superiority of white land and ranch owners, who believed that all men were not equal, nor endowed by their Creator with unalienable rights.  Today, however, that arrogance and superiority is emanating from too many brown-skinned descendants here in the Valley, who believe like 1940s-1960s White-Americans one and possibly still believe -- that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness was and is theirs, and theirs alone – something they refuse to share.

David Espinoza of Edinburg, recently responded to one of my Facebook posts (which had nothing to do with Mexicans or illegals), by stating that illegals were not welcomed in his home (possibly insinuating our country).  And also deriding “Democrats” for treating illegals humanely and decently.  When I read David’s “comment,” I almost decided to hang up my writing all together, because I was fighting a lost cause.  I was so depressed and disillusioned by David’s words that I went into a deep depression for several days (even not posting on Facebook for days), at realizing that many people with my own background and heritage here in the Valley, of all places, had lost their souls and lost their way from the paths that their parents and grandparents had so carefully and painfully laid out for them.  David, and people like him, have stepped beyond the boundary of our inborn and ingrained decency, tradition, openness and acceptance that has defined and explained our ability to survive and thrive as a culture and as Americans. 

I felt ashamed for the words David wrote and for his mindset and heartlessness.  And yet, his words and his views are prevalent in our American-Mexican community.  What must have happened to these people to have closed their minds, their hearts and their souls, to the plight and desperation of the humanity around us?  What could have triggered the hatred and the animosity toward their own roots, their own past?  It saddens me, and belittles me as a human being, and as a brown-skinned American and Vietnam Veteran. 

I am exhausted at attempting to figure out why some members of my extended American-Mexican family, friends and even total strangers that share my heritage, have betrayed their legacy of embracing those around them – just like our parents and grandparents did so long ago.  Our parents once shared their last piece of bread with strangers who were hungry.  Our parents revealed and practiced their true faith with those less fortunate and homeless.  Our parents gave hope and courage to those in need and despair.  And our parents helped to bring back dreams to those who had lost everything, including hope in their fellow-man.  And now, their children and their grandchildren, people like David and his kind, simply turn their backs and close their hearts on the very people who once they were. 

And, it depresses me.  It depresses me that I am surrounded by empty-minded and heartless people, who only think of themselves, and what’s in it for them.  In other words -- they think and act like Trump. 

Today came, and the despair, fear and anxiety of yesterday, was still here.  And nothing seems to have changed from yesterday.  The apathy and hatred grows.  And the legacy of my heritage continues to disintegrate, along with the humanity that once made me look forward to what tomorrow would bring.

If today is what tomorrow holds, then we are lost. 

Submitted: May 29, 2021

© Copyright 2021 A.Garcia. All rights reserved.

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