Welcome to Space Samurai(title not set). Enter Jack. A lone wanderer with a penchant for mining crystals on various planets. His desire for wealth and power have landed him on the planet of Karm, a one sun, two moon planet in the Sa'aron galaxy in the Northern quadrant of our universe. Humankind venture out into the stars centuries ago. Throwback styles from days on Earth still exist, and Jack embodies two of them--cowboy and samurai. But Jack holds a mystery in his hands. People are searching for his sword--Ba'aron, the Galaxy Destroyer--and they won't tell him why.

Table of Contents

A Morning Shadow


Jack awakens to the sun staring him down. His Snax meal has been smoking all night and he is rested enough to leave Nar'chu, only a surprise encountered ruffles his skin before he could make his
way out.
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Destiny's Door


Jack makes it to the town of Destiny.
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Void


Jack and Stevey catch up over a Swallowtail--a drink of interesting effect. Jack tells Stevey of a new crystal he found.
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Kharmic Good

  "I'd leave it alone," Stevey replied after a few minutes had passed without a word, a trailing chain of haze drifted along his... Read Chapter

Recent Comments

Celtic-Scribe63

I like your descriptive text. not too heavy and gives a fast visual image to the reader.
jack seems to be a happy-go-lucky character.
I like how you just throw in world-building stuff, again without being too heavy, and introducing us to the differences between this world and ours. All in all, a very neat little package.

Sat, June 5th, 2021 12:57pm

Author
Reply

Having written a full blown novel has helped a lot with learning how to deliver information in tight packages. Sometimes you need the fleeting images to make a more meaningful impact. I do intend to develop this story further. The tone to this narrative is a bit different than my other works as it has a bit more serious background that needs to evolve. My inspiration for it comes from several genres being brought together, hopefully for something really good and unique.

I wouldn't say Jack is happy-go-lucky but his mannerism is meant to be a bit off the cuff as it's referred to in some speech. Sort of a go with the flow type of character.

Incite: the phrase "See ya later, Space cowboy." was a line rolling in my head when I first thought up the idea. Also, the title is not set in stone. I'm currently trying to hash out a better title, though. Space Samurai is a tad to generic but it helps me focus my idea cause that's what my character is intended to be--a space samurai in cowboy garb.

Sat, June 5th, 2021 6:07pm

llywrch

At first read, you do a good job setting the scene. And based on later chapters, the mention of the dragon is significant. (Although it would be a nice touch if you could tie the dragon to the katana somehow, say have it vibrate as he thinks about the beast.) But I'm going to pick over details here.

First, I'm left with a feeling he is climbing over sand dunes--although sand dunes occupy only a small portion of deserts. My memory of having traveled thru the desert is that there is a lot of vegetation, although the plants are scraggly & unusual. (Not only cacti, but the bizarre-looking Welwitschia.) You need to note that not all deserts are empty of vegetation.
The paragraphs where you describe the "Aquos" & what he is carrying come across confused. You should move the sentence listing the blaster, canteen, & katana to where he takes off his overcoat.

IMHO, you should call it a duster, not an overcoat. (Yes, I am a Sergio Leone fan.)

I had a hard time picturing the "Aquos" -- unless you simply were looking for a fancy synonym for oasis or waterhole. Is it a rock formation with water at the bottom & some vegetation around it?

As I said, I'm picking over details. On the whole, this chapter works.

Sat, January 15th, 2022 8:15am

Author
Reply

Thanks for the read, IIywrch.

First of all the dragon and the katana are only remotely tied to each other at the moment. I'm working on a setup that brings their plot point together in a more profound way. But you do have me thinking about changing it up a little with that suggestion.

As for the sand dune feel you got, you're half right. I never mention any dunes. So, what would that really suggest to you about that desert? 1) It might not be massive enough to be populated by huge sand dunes. 2) The region of desert Jack is in has underlying rock. The dunes where he's at would only be about a foot deep, maybe two on a high wind cycle. Also, he wasn't in the deep desert of Nar'chu more of a medium region where rock quarries and Scarven worms inhabit. I'll have to map out my world a bit more to develop its detailed settings.

Moving on to vegetation. I am aware that deserts have more vegetation than I describe in my initial chapter. I was a touch more focused on character setup than scenery. So, I gave a brief glimpse of it rather than bog down the exposition with heavy scene description.

I'll give the gear listing scene another look. I may be able to make it more organic. Duster, yes! I thought it had another name but I didn't dig into the fashion enough to pull that one out. Thanks for that info. I had a vision just not the wording.

The Aquos. This beauty is a cave oasis, of sorts. In my vision of this formation, they are natural rock formations on Kharm, and they are more prevalent in the desert region. The caves are small mostly, rising up above ground level only several feet. Some can be bigger. Thorny Kraut is the main vegetation that grows near it with sprigs of other grasses and some small trees sometimes growing over or covering the opening. I didn't get into high detail with it because I wasn't sure how I wanted to describe it at the time. I've since worked out how they should be taken visually. They basically work by capturing moisture in the air and funneling it into a basin at the back. The basins are man-made mostly by the natives of Kharm.

Sat, January 15th, 2022 5:39am

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