The Ramblings of My Mind

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

I woke up, and already, my mind is roiling with thoughts and memories. Pictures of faces and places envelope my mind unceasingly. And it is only six in the morning. It’s going to be a long day.

THE RAMBLINGS OF MY MIND

By Al Garcia

I woke up, and already, my mind is roiling with thoughts and memories.  Pictures of faces and places envelope my mind unceasingly.  And it is only six in the morning.  It’s going to be a long day. 

This morning my childhood returns to haunt my mind.  I remember it so well.  Since my childhood days along the Rio Grande, I had always had a sense of awe and wonder about all that surrounded me, and all that flowed from within me.  Feelings, thoughts, sensations, impressions, perceptions.  My mind overflowing with notions and instincts.  And it was always at night that my dreams took me to places, to times and to heights beyond my evolving mind, and beyond the shadows and images that lived inside of me.

Shadows and images in my mind receded sometime before the dawn.  And sometime before the first flicker of the morning light, I would regain the consciousness of life that was suspended while I slept and lived among the shadows of my mind. 

Two worlds confined within the realm of my body and my soul.  Defined by the light and by the darkness that rule each unique dominion of my being.  Life defined by the Jekyll and Hyde syndrome that devours and assaults the mind and consumes reality and delusion.  Wakefulness, the redeemer of the hallucinations that haunt and rob the restless mind.  And sometime before the dawn, the welcomed respite from the incessant flight of fleeing thoughts and images that seek release before they fade and are betrayed as phantoms and illusions.

The power of the mind astounds me.  The treasure bin of memories and of imagination and inspiration.  The human mind, also the arsenal of all that can betray, assault, deceive and hate -- how potent and intoxicating -- and yet how weak and soulless it can sometimes seem to be too many times in a moment or a lifetime.  We presume too much sometimes of what the mind alone can do.  For I have learned that a mind requires a heart and soul to fully be the masterpiece that it can be.  I learned this growing up in a household filled with love and the promise of better days to come. 

And sometime before the dawn, like today, my mind awakes before I do.  It brings me images and sounds, and sometimes even sentiments, of where it went and what it did without the reality of me to make it real, or to make it true.  How strange to live in two distinct and separate worlds.  In one, the light allows me to see and hear and feel that which surrounds me and constrains me, while in the other, the darkness and the vastness beyond the dark entices and seduces my impetuous mind to wonder beyond the bounds of logic, reason, time and space, and releases my body, my soul and the essence of me, to experience depths within that can frighten and terrify, or reach heights that stimulate, motivate and arouse the human heart and soul.

And I wonder at times, what if my mind did not wake me sometime before the dawn one day?  Would I simply wonder off into the darkness and beyond, without the reality of being?  Or would I remain within the light and never dream or imagine or conceive the wonders of the night that filled my mind with the magic and the marvels of what may lay beyond? 

But like today, the dawn always comes however, and I awake and feel alive again.  And it is then that I once again begin to question whether I am but a figment of my mind, caught between two worlds, an illusion born of hope and yearning, to see and hear and feel that which my mind creates but never was.

And sometimes before the dawn, one of me dissolves into nothingness.  And I wonder what is real and what exists.  Am I, was I, or am I, just part of the morning dawn that lives only in the vastness of all that is, and in a mind that dreams of me?  The mind astounds me, and the idea of life overwhelms me. 


Submitted: May 30, 2021

© Copyright 2021 A.Garcia. All rights reserved.

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